29 June 2013

The Final Chapter And Epilogue Of Meet Fifty Shades. Chapter 64 - A Blip In The Works





The First Trimester.

I’m working from home so I can be with Ana, and make sure she takes time to fully recover from Hyde’s attack. I wouldn’t be able to relax or concentrate at the office because I’d just be worrying about her all the time. 

Nearly losing Ana, fearing she was dead when I saw her lying on the ground, has put things into perspective for me. I want to spend time with my wife, and I can run my business from home, for a while anyhow. Ros proved herself yet again by the way she took over and flew out to handle the shipyard deal in my place. She can keep things ticking over for now.

While we’re both off work, we go out to visit our new home and see what Elliot’s crew have been up to. Although there’s still a lot to do, Ana and I both love what’s been achieved so far, and it’s fun planning out where we’re going to put things like the paintings we bought on our honeymoon. 

The house just has this wonderful atmosphere that’s going to make it a perfect family home. Is that why I was so drawn to it? Did I secretly harbor a yearning for a family of my own? I don’t think so, but I'm trying my hardest to feel comfortable with the whole becoming a parent thing. Ana’s told me she won't let me be a shitty father, so that helps. All I know is I'm determined that our child will never have to experience any kind of hardship or deprivation of the kind that I suffered. This much I can do for our child.

I feel much calmer now I've finally told Ana everything there is to know about my affair with Elena. It’s as if a dead weight I didn't even know I was carrying has been lifted from my shoulders.  I haven’t heard from Elena or had any contact with her since that last encounter, and I don’t want any reminders of that whole traumatic period between Ana and me. As far as I'm concerned, the door is shut on that part of my life now and will never be opened again. If only you didn’t have the memories to haunt you, Grey. Can you really shut all of those out?

While we’re at the house, Ana shows me an ultrasound picture she has of Blip, and I guess that’s when it starts to sink in that there really is a baby growing inside her.  As I stare at the grainy black and white image, I understand where she got the name Blip from. That’s what the baby looks like.  A little kidney shaped blip. Our child.


It’s when we’re out in the meadow having our picnic that I get the call I’ve been waiting for from Welch. He confirms our suspicions about who posted Hyde’s bail were correct. Just as my gut instinct told me, it’s someone from my murky past - Linc, Elena’s ex husband. 

He’s the fucker who’s been playing around with the safety of my family, still after revenge because of my affair with Elena. Well, he’s about to find out the hard way that it never pays to underestimate Christian Grey. I always knew this day would come, and I’m going to take great pleasure in putting into action the plan I've had in my back pocket for some time, just waiting for the right moment to implement it.

I call Ros. Once she’s confirmed how much stock we’ve quietly accumulated over the years in Lincoln Timber, I instruct her to go for the kill.

“Consolidate the shares into GEH, then fire the board.”

“The entire board?” Ros queries in disbelief.

 “Except the CEO.”

“But Christian, that’ll totally destroy the company.”

“I don’t give a fuck.”

“You sure you want to go down this road? There’ll be no going back once it’s done.”

“I hear you, but just do it.”

“Okay, Christian. You’re the boss.”

“Thank you.”

“My pleasure.”

“Keep me informed.”

That’s what I like about Ros. Straight to the point, and now she’s sure I know what I’m doing, she’ll get straight onto it.

Ana is staring at me, looking kind of scared.  I guess I forgot where I was and my CEO persona returned. 

In charge. In total command. Totally confident and sure of myself. That's how I acted. Shit, but it felt good.

Ana is shocked when I explain what’s going on, about Linc posting Hyde’s bail.

“What did you just do?”

“I fucked him over.” Big time.

“Um… that seems a little impulsive,” she murmurs.

“I'm an in-the-moment kind of guy.”

So that she understands Linc’s motives, I explain how he viciously beat Elena when he learned about our affair all those years ago, but how she refused to press charges against him, so he got away with it.

 I loathe the man for his cowardly actions in beating a woman badly enough to hospitalize her, and he loathes me for emasculating him by giving Elena what he wasn’t able to.  Linc always swore he’d get even with me and obviously subscribes to the ‘revenge is a dish best served cold’ ideology.  But what he failed to take into account is that I'm a step ahead of him and my revenge dish will be served from the fucking freezer.

But what makes this even sweeter is that we’ll make good money out of the deal. Grey, you are such a fucking ace at this.

Ana’s big blue eyes are still staring at me.

“I will do anything to keep you safe. Keep my family safe. Keep this little one safe.” I spread my hand out over her belly protectively. 

Mine. My child. My wife.

And as always when we touch, the chemistry between us kicks in. It’s been so long since we made love, we’re both desperate for that intimate connection. She pulls me to her and tangles her fingers in my hair as she starts kissing me, and I'm lost as we consume each other in a frenzy of need.

Ana fumbles, trying to unbutton my shirt in her eagerness to get to me, and I want her, really want her, right here, right now, out in the meadow. But we can't. She’s been badly hurt and it’s too soon.

But Ana refuses to take no for an answer.

“I want you. Please, I need you.” She’s literally begging me. We both need this re-connection. Perhaps we can find a way if I'm really careful, because this is how we mend and heal things between us. We need to come together in both body and soul. So I finally succumb. 

We might be out in the open, but I quickly assess that it’s sufficiently private and no one can see us. We can do this.

As I undo her blouse, I can tell that pregnancy is already changing her body. Ana’s breasts are fuller and her nipples even more sensitive than usual.  I like.

But as I suck and kiss and tease those sensitive nipples of hers, she is so aroused that she forgets about her bruised ribs until she cries out in pain.

“Ana! This is what I'm talking about. Your lack of self preservation. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“No… don’t stop. Please,” she begs me again.  I want her so much, but am I being insensitive and uncaring in wanting to carry on making love? Or am I giving her what she needs? I choose to believe the latter.

“Here.” I move to pull Ana on top of me. Now there shouldn’t  be any weight or pressure on her ribs to cause her pain. And she looks hot with her short skirt hitched right up so I can see her legs in those sexy thigh high stockings. This is better, and works for both of us. I guess that’s what I'm going to have to do as she gets further along in her pregnancy - adapt. We can still have fun. I like a challenge. This is what I do - come up with solutions to problems.

I sit up so I can play with her beautiful breasts, teasing her nipples until she is clawing at my clothes to get to me.

“Hey, there’s no rush. Take it slow.  I want to savor you,” I murmur.
At this rate it’ll all be over in about thirty seconds, and that’s not how I want to do things.

“Christian, it’s been so long,” Ana pants.

“Slow.” It’s a command. I'm in control. “Slow.” I kiss the corners of her mouth. “Slow baby. Let’s take this slow.”

Ana calms as we kiss, understanding that the release will be all the sweeter for slowing the pace.

She pushes me onto my back and teases me as she trails kisses down my neck, over my throat, and down to gently kiss my scars. I force myself to relax, but realize I don’t find it hard any more. I love her touching me now.

And so I let her ride me. I fucking love being buried in her soft, sweet hotness deep like this. This is what we do. We make love to each other.

~~~

A beneficial side effect of her pregnancy is that Ana has such a great appetite that it’s a joy to watch her eat. As long as she has regular meals, she doesn't get morning sickness, so I'm adamant she mustn’t skip meals, even when I reluctantly give in to her insistence on returning to work. 

Although I'd be more than happy for her to give up her job and stay at home where I know she’d be safer, I'm also very proud of how well she’s doing in her role at SIP, so I'm torn.

Ana’s a very intelligent girl who worked really hard to get through college, and she’s told me what she’s doing now is her dream job, so I guess I have to accept that if it makes her happy, then I'm happy. Ana was never going to settle for being a vacuous social butterfly draped on my arm was she? 

Also, what my mom said about Ana being able to work from home a lot of the time makes sense, so I think that will be a good compromise that we can both live with. I’ve already said I’ll hand over Grey Publishing for her to run in a year, so now I’ll help organize things to suit her new circumstances and do whatever it takes to make things work.

That’s the beauty of owning the company - you call the shots, and I'm glad I'm in a position to be able to do this for her. No question, it’ll be all down to her talents and skills at spotting potential new talented authors that will make Grey Publishing a success or not, however much I try to help her out. But I have every confidence in my wife’s abilities.

 Gail makes her a packed lunch to take to the office every day, and part of Sawyer’s duties now include checking that my wife has remembered to take it with her. He is also under orders to coordinate with her PA, Hannah, and report back to me if she fails to take her lunch break. But so far I think she’s been so hungry that she hasn’t needed any kind of a reminder to eat. Her body’s doing that for her.

Sawyer has remained as Ana’s main CPO despite the whole Hyde debacle. She pleaded with me not to sack him, pointing out that she deliberately misled him, and I realize that short of locking Ana up, he wouldn’t have been able to prevent what happened. As Ana seems okay with Sawyer, and good, trustworthy CPOs are not easy to come by, he’s kept his job, along with Ryan and Reynolds.

I also haven’t forgotten how cut up he was as he waited at the hospital for news about Ana when she was unconscious, so I’m guessing that just like Taylor, the guy wouldn’t hesitate to lay down his life for my wife and unborn child in the line of duty. You can't ask for more than that from your security detail.

 Gail is excelling herself in providing nutritious meals for Ana, although she seemed offended when I handed her instructions about exactly what foods should not be given to my wife, such as mayonnaise that contains raw eggs, or certain types of cheese. I heard her muttering something about knowing her job, being a professional and how she wouldn’t dream of giving Mrs. Grey anything inappropriate.

Ana doesn't appreciate the total ban on alcohol I’ve imposed on her.

“For goodness sake, Christian. Even your mom said it was okay for me to have an occasional drink,” Ana argues as she rolls her eyes. I haven’t forgotten how Mom let her have some champagne when they came round after Ana got back from the hospital, but that was just a few sips.

“Why take the chance? There are plenty of other more suitable beverages for a woman in your condition. It’s not just you now is it? You have to think about what’s best for the baby, Ana.”

I’m already worried because from what I’ve worked out, I suspect Ana may have been in the very early stages of pregnancy when she went out drinking with Kate to the Zig Zag bar. We’ll have a better idea of exactly when this baby was conceived once she’s had her next ultrasound scan with Dr. Greene at around the twelve week stage.

 Unlike most women, Ana doesn’t have her last period date to work from, because a common side effect of the Depo shot is that periods often  stop, so we just assumed that was the case with Ana.

I wanted her to have a scan sooner, in fact I even considered buying our own portable ultrasound equipment for regular checks, until Ana showed me some reports stating that although sonograms are considered very low risk, medical guidelines caution against unnecessary exposure to ultra sound.

“Women have been having babies since the beginning of time, Christian. Being pregnant is the most natural thing in the world, so just try to relax. I’m young and fit and not in any kind of high risk group, so both Dr. Greene and your mom have agreed there is no need for me to have anything over and above the normal routine checks.”

Ana and my mom meet up for lunch most weeks now, and sometimes it feels almost as if they’re ganging up against me, but I don’t really mind.  I'm glad Ana feels she can turn to Mom and confide in her, and that they’re becoming really close. But despite Ana’s protestations, I know that now more than ever it’s important that I monitor her diet and well-being, pretty much in line with the original rules that I used to impose on my subs.

I may have been dragged kicking and screaming very unwillingly into this whole pregnancy experience to start with, but now I'm determined to take my responsibilities seriously. And I can’t deny that I fucking love having the perfect excuse to impose some control. 

You still fantasize about 24/7 Total Power Exchange, don't you Grey?

In these early weeks, Ana’s pregnancy doesn’t show yet, and until we've been given the all clear with the ultrasound that everything's okay, only close family and staff classified as ‘need to know’ are aware that Ana is pregnant. 

So far, by some miracle the press haven’t got hold of the news, because no doubt they would be hounding us even more than they already do. But as Taylor and Sawyer are extremely protective of Ana these days, way beyond the call of duty, I think it unlikely any nosy reporter would get near her. 

It’s the ultra powerful camera zoom lenses that make it so hard to maintain our privacy, and we were incredibly lucky that no pictures emerged of Ana following her topless indiscretion on the beach in the South of France. I don't know how I would have handled the whole world being able to ogle my wife’s fantastic tits. My private property. For my eyes only.

I’ve ordered Ros to investigate branching out into acquiring a foothold in the media industry, knowing it’s always easier to take control from within should there be another incident that needed to be handled, and I’ve also spent some time strengthening my links with Kate’s father, Edward Kavanagh the media mogul. I wouldn’t hesitate to call in favors and pull whatever strings were required if the situation arose. It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.

Claude Bastille falls into the ‘need to know’ group.

“Hey man, that’s really cool,” he grins when I inform him about Ana’s pregnancy. “Congratulations, Grey.”

“I’m happy for you to continue as my wife’s personal trainer, as long as you feel confident you have the expertise to tailor her fitness regime to take account of her condition.”

“Sure I do. All the celebs rely on their personal trainers to snap back into shape as soon as possible after the birth, so I'm fully qualified to continue coaching Mrs Grey throughout her pregnancy.”

I think it essential Ana continues to exercise sensibly, primarily for her health, but also because I'd really like her to get her sexy figure back after she’s had the baby. Ana’s also pretty keen on getting her figure back quickly - she’s got the incentive of being Kate’s matron of honor when she and Elliot get married next June.

Being her best friend, Ana wanted to tell Kate about the baby anyway, but we had to take her into our confidence early on when she started making wedding plans for around the time the baby’s due, sometime in mid May. Luckily once they knew, Kate and Elliot were happy to push the date of their wedding back to June.  

Elliot wasn’t as surprised as I expected when I told him about the baby.

“Way to go, bro,” Elliot grinned as he clapped me on the back. “Daddy Christian. Someone to pass your whole Grey empire on to.”

I hadn't really thought about that. A son that I could train up to take over from me one day? But as Ana pointed out, Blip could turn out to be a daughter. Maybe she would be up to the challenge? Ros is certainly more of a man than most men, although she is a pretty unique female. 

All I know is this pregnancy just makes it even more important to secure the future for my family. I can't afford to be complacent.

~~~

Ana lays on the bed and grips my  hand as I sit on a chair next to her, both of us turned to watch the screen. The sonographer puts cold gel on her belly, then starts moving the transducer across her while Dr. Greene watches the screen intently.  

And there it is.

Our baby.

I can see Blip’s heart beating. I can see Blip moving around. Blip is real. Ana looks over at me as I sit there blinking and swallowing hard. She smiles and squeezes my hand, because she understands how emotional I feel to finally see our baby. Seeing that first sonogram picture was what brought home to me the fact that this baby was real, but that picture was done at such an early stage that Blip was just… well, a blip. 

Now I can see that Blip is a real human being. 

I wish they could tell us what sex the baby is, but Dr. Greene has advised against trying to see at this early stage, because it’s hard to tell accurately. She says they should be able to tell at the next scan. Ana says she doesn’t want to know what we’re having, that it would spoil the surprise, but I disagree. I really want to know, so I'm hoping I can talk her round by then.

"Does everything look alright?" Ana asks anxiously.

"Everything looks fine so far Mrs. Grey– just one baby, that's the first thing to confirm," she reassures us.  "Crown Rump length is 5.8cm, which puts the date of conception as 23rd August. Does that sound about right to you?" Dr. Greene asks.

"Yeah, I guess so," Ana murmurs. 

I’ve tried to work out when it must have happened but we normally have so much sex, and conceiving a baby was the last thing on our minds, so it’s hard. Now with this information I can look back at my diary to figure it out. I think that was around the time that Ana cut my hair for me, wasn’t it?

"Heart looks normal, heart beat is around 130 per minute, well within the normal range," the sonographer continues. "Biparetal diameter and femur length also consistent with dates and in normal range. That's the head size and leg length." The doctor nods her approval.

 “Everything looks perfectly normal and as it should be at this stage. Your estimated due date is 15th May, Mrs. Grey.”

 She gets some pictures printed out for us to take away. 

“When you're ready, come through to my office, and I'll clarify any queries you have.” Dr. Greene disappears while Ana wipes off the gooey gel and gets dressed.

I  help her down from the bed, and give her a little hug before we go through to Dr. Greene’s office. Despite my mom’s assurances that she was sure everything would be okay, after everything Ana’s been through I couldn’t help being worried, so I'm glad everything seems normal.

"So, all good news so far. We've also had the blood test results through, and those results combined with the scan give no indication of any chromosomal abnormalities," Dr. Greene smiles. " I see no need for any of the more invasive tests at this stage, especially as they carry some risks.”

Ana reaches over to squeeze my hand.

“See? I told you everything would be okay,” she smiles.

So, that's one trimester down, two to go.

~~~

The Second Trimester.

“What! What's the matter?" I’m suddenly wide awake as I glance at the clock and see it’s three in the morning. Ana’s just woken me.

"Nothing’s wrong. I just wanted you to feel this," Ana says, reaching for my hand.

She places it on the warm soft skin of her swollen belly. I feel something. A movement. A little thump against my hand.

“Is that… ?” I ask incredulously.

“Yeah. That’s Blip saying ‘Hi Daddy’. Cool, huh?” I can tell Ana’s grinning at me even in the dark. “Sorry to wake you, but Blip doesn’t know it’s the middle of the night, and I didn't want you to miss out again.”

“Wow. It feels amazing. Weird, but totally amazing. Does it hurt at all?”

"No, they’re just gentle little kicks. Pretty incredible though, hmm?"

Ana’s told me she’s felt the baby move several times now but it’s never when I've been around. Knowing how I've struggled to get used to the idea of being a father, she’s really trying to involve me to help me bond with the baby.  She’s eighteen weeks pregnant, already nearly half way along, but I'm not renowned for being a patient man, and it still seems so long to wait until we get to see our little Blip.

Naturally I’ve been reading up about how the baby is developing week by week to bring myself up to speed. I don’t see why Ana felt the need to roll her eyes at me yesterday, when I told her she needs to sleep on her side not her back. I’d just read how her enlarged uterus can compress a major vein, which leads to decreased blood supply to the heart, and this could make her feel faint and dizzy. Obviously she needs to be aware of this, because I don’t want her passing out and hurting herself.

So she can cut the snarky attitude. I’m just trying to look after her - isn’t that what I'm supposed to do?

~~~

I get my way about finding out about the sex of the baby.

 When I told Ana it was the only thing I wanted for Christmas, she finally gave way and agreed we should try and find out at the ultrasound she was booked in for just after the holiday.

“Okay, we can find out, seeing as it’s so important to you. But don’t forget the sonographer may not be able to tell anyway, if Blip isn’t feeling very cooperative. It all depends on which way the baby’s laying,” she warns, as we lie in bed looking out at the view from our window over The Sound.

Elliot pulled out all the stops to get everything completed in time for us to move into our new house just before Christmas. We’ll still stay over at Escala sometimes, especially as that’s where our playroom is. 

I haven’t had anything similar installed in our new home.  It would have been really awkward seeing as I’d have had to discuss it with my brother, and anyway it just  seems right somehow to keep it separate from our new family home.

I'm hoping Escala can be where we escape to get some private adult time to ourselves sometimes. Mom and Dad have already said they can't wait to come and babysit for us anytime we want, and I can't deny it’s good to know we can still go sailing or soaring once Ana’s recovered from the birth. 

We’ve had one of the guest suites in our new house designated as my parents' room so they can stay over in our totally secure place whenever necessary. Naturally, I've had every possible state of the art security feature that Welch and Taylor recommended we have installed already.

Jason and Gail have planned a small, quiet Christmas wedding so they can move in together in the new staff quarters I've had built for them.  I had them designed especially so that he can have his daughter Sophie come and stay with him. We have a large enough security team in place now to allow him to take time off on a more regular basis, so he should get to see her more often. We’ve agreed that Sawyer will step up and head the team when Taylor is off, which means one of them will be around at all times.

There’s still some decorating to finish in the last few guest bedrooms for the new house -  and the nursery of course. That’s another reason why it makes sense to find out whether we’re having a boy or a girl, so that we can decorate the nursery appropriately.  That’s what I've told Ana anyhow, but basically I just want to know the sex of the baby, and the suspense is fucking killing me.

I admit I go completely over the top for our first Christmas together, but why the fuck shouldn’t I? I think the Christmas tree I order is a match for the one the President has for The White House.

Ana also has a much smaller tree that she insists we decorate together, which brings back memories of the first Christmas I spent with Mom and Dad after I was adopted. I’d never seen anything as pretty as that Christmas tree. I watched Elliot help them decorate it, but I was too scared to join in. Scared it would mean being touched, because someone would have to lift me up to reach the branches like they did with Elliot. So I just watched from the sidelines, which became the norm for me.

I'm glad Ana’s helping us to make new precious memories together to wipe out some of the more painful ones. Our child will never experience the kind of fear I did. Blip won’t ever be scared in the way that I was.

Over the years I’ve always dutifully joined in Mom and Dad’s holiday celebrations, but always still felt like an outsider looking in, however hard my family tried to make me feel part of everything. I guess I never really got the point of it all before. But I do now, and all I want is to make Ana happy, because that’s what makes me happy.

We’re going to see Ana’s mom for New Year, but Ray comes to stay with us for the Christmas holiday, and my mom includes him in all the family festivities. We’ve told him that one of the bedrooms in our new house is purely for his exclusive use, and that he can come and stay whenever he wants, for as long as he wants. 

Truth is, with all the inevitable security arrangements that go with our lifestyle, it makes more sense for him to come and visit us rather than us go to him. Knowing Ray, I'm sure he’s worked this out for himself, because I know how much he worries about his daughter’s safety, just like me. 

Ana’s told me it’s also on the agenda for Ray and me to take a fishing trip to Aspen, and I'm cool with that. His quiet, solid presence makes him one of the few people whose company I can stand for more than a short period.

~~~

We both feel nervous about the very detailed level 2 ultrasound for Blip. It takes nearly an hour, as every part of our baby’s anatomy is carefully scrutinized and then thankfully declared normal.

After confirming with us that we want to know what sex Blip is, the sonographer sets out to check.  But as we all stare at the screen, it turns out there’s no absolutely no doubt about what we’re having. It’s blatantly  obvious. You don’t need to be an expert to see that we’re definitely having a boy, because the evidence stands out very clearly. Like father, like son.

So now we know. Code blue not code pink.

Grey & Son Enterprises. This I like.

~~~

Pregnancy suits Ana. I didn't think she could look more beautiful than she already did, but she’s literally blooming as her pregnancy progresses - her hair is glossy and shiny and her skin is glowing.

I feel so proud when we go out anywhere together, to one of the fund raisers for example. As I walk in with my beautiful wife on my arm, she’s not only wearing my wedding ring, she’s also pregnant with my child. I fucking love this. I love flaunting my wife’s pregnant figure to the world, because this is the ultimate proof that she is mine. That’s my baby she’s carrying. No one else’s. Mine.

I'm surprised to discover that some business men who’ve previously been reluctant to engage with me suddenly seem to thaw. Ros tells me the word is that I’m seen in a different light these days. Rather than being a cold hearted bastard that they don’t trust, when they see me with my beautiful, sweet, pregnant young wife whom I clearly adore, they look on me more favorably. 

Now I'm someone they could potentially do business with, because I'm about to join their club. The Family Man club. So that’s an unexpected benefit that I never foresaw, and another reason to have Ana by my side as much as possible.

Ana has a very neat bump - from the back you wouldn’t even know she was pregnant. And a totally unexpected side effect of her pregnancy is that her libido has shot through the roof. She wants sex even more than usual - well, I'm sure as hell not complaining. 

Apparently this is due to all the extra hormones floating round her system, and the increased blood supply to her more sensitive areas. 

As an added bonus, she has really intense orgasms that feel incredibly good for me too. Win/win situation here. Who knew?

I’m thinking I should make the most of this because it can't last, not when she gets really big and uncomfortable near the end, can it? I'm already having to be inventive to come up with positions for us to make love where I won't be worried that I'm hurting her or the baby, but I don’t mind because it’s fun, and I enjoy the challenge.

To be on the safe side, I've trawled the internet and read everything I can find on the subject of sex during pregnancy. It all confirms that as long as Ana is fit and well and willing, there is no reason for us to cut back on our love making. So we’re not. 

And as Ana insists that sex helps her to sleep better afterwards, you could even argue that it’s a necessity.

~~~

The Third Trimester.

“How about the name Theodore for Blip, after your grandfather. I think it’s a really classy, unusual name,” Ana suggests. We’re lying in bed one Sunday morning.  I have my hand on her belly, and I can feel Blip kicking very strongly now.

“Theodore Grey. That has a nice ring to it. And my grandfather would be really stoked.”

“We could call him Ted or Teddy for short.”

“I like that.”

“And he could use Theodore when he’s a big powerful megalomaniac like his father,” she kisses my cheek.

“How about using your stepdad’s name for his middle name? Got to keep both sides of  the family happy, haven’t we?”

“Theodore Raymond Grey. T.R.G. Yep, that all works. Unlike my initials before I married you, Mr. Grey.”

“ Anastasia Rose Steele. A.R.S. Well, you do have a rather delectable arse, Mrs. Grey.”

And somehow my hands end up exploring that exquisite part of my wife’s anatomy.

~~~

As the birth of the baby approaches, I'm getting more worried and nervous about D Day, as Taylor refers to the day of delivery. 

He’d love nothing better than to have a military type of action plan organized right down to the very last detail, and so he agrees with me that it would be preferable for Ana to have an elective caesarian. That way we can set the date and be sure that everything is in place, with all the best doctors on hand to take care of Ana and the baby. 

I fucking hate the uncertainty and risk of just waiting around for nature take its course. An elective caesarian makes far more sense.
But as this is Ana we’re dealing with, she has her own very strong views, and she is having none of it.

“I’m having a natural birth. End of, Christian. There is no medical reason for me to have a caesarian, and this matter is not up for discussion,” she stubbornly insists.

“But Ana, you’ll be in so much pain when it really isn’t necessary,” I point out. I'm really not sure how I'm going to cope with seeing her in agony.

“Dr. Greene and your mom both agree with me that it’s far better to give birth naturally if you can, and I'm certainly not one of those ‘too posh to push’ women. As I keep telling you, having a baby is the most natural thing in the world. So stop making such a fuss about it.”

As she refuses to budge on the subject there is frustratingly little I can do about it.

But I do get my way on other matters. Like when Ana can't decide which baby stroller and transportation system she likes best. The solution is simple. I just order one of every design on her short list, in each of the colors she’s ticked.

“Christian! That’s ridiculous,” she protests when she finds out.

“Why? It makes perfect sense, because we can keep one at each of our homes, one at my parents and so on. It’ll be much easier and more practical in the long run.”

She just rolls her eyes at me and leaves the room. But I notice she doesn't send any of them back when they arrive.

~~~

“How come you’re working from home again, Christian?”Ana  eyes me suspiciously. There’s still two weeks to go until her due date, but babies can come early, although Ana seems certain that our baby will come on his due date and not before.

“As this is your son we’re talking about, Christian, I'm sure he'll come on the appointed day, as arranged. Punctual and organized, just like his father.”

But I can't relax unless I know that she’s okay, so I want to be with her to see for myself. That’s why I'm working from home.

“And why are you following me around rather than working in your study?” she glares at me.

Ana’s still cross because of yesterday’s false alarm. Although she is now officially on maternity leave, she’d called into SIP’s offices to hand in some paperwork. As we have people who could have done that for her, it was entirely unnecessary and I suspect just an excuse to get out.

I’ve insisted that if she goes anywhere now, she is escorted at all times by a three man security detail. This means that should any kind of an emergency situation develop, there’ll be one CPO to drive, one to monitor her condition, and one to handle communications. I’ve also insisted that all members of the security team undergo training in basic childbirth assistance. God forbid it should ever come to that, but I want every eventuality prepared for.

Ana thinks I'm being far too overprotective, but when I argued that I'm doing it to protect the baby as much as her, she reluctantly gave way.

What she didn't know was that the security team were under orders that if there was the slightest indication that she’d gone into labor, they were to let me know immediately and head straight for the hospital, ignoring any protests from my wife.

Yesterday Sawyer saw her rubbing her back, so he inquired if she was okay, and when she admitted she had backache he followed protocol and headed straight to the hospital instead of home, knowing that backache can be an early indication of the onset of labor.

When I got his Code D alert, I dropped everything and rushed to the hospital, but in this instance it wasn’t the onset of labor, it was just simple backache. 

Ana was furious because she thought it made her look silly to turn up at the hospital like that, but I don’t give a fuck what anyone else thought. Sawyer did the right thing, because it’s better to be safe than sorry, and at least it provided good practice as a dry run for the actual D Day. At the debrief afterwards, we came up with a solution to the parking issue Sawyer encountered - just block the fucker in if they’d parked in the spot we’d designated.

In any case, to calm Ana down that evening, after a relaxing bath I gave her a nice soothing massage. I know I have to be extra patient with her, because her hormones are all over the place, her bump is enormous, and Blip is pressing on her bladder making her want to pee all the time and interrupting her sleep.  She’s entitled to be ratty and irritable with me and I just have to suck it up.

~~~

Because I'm on edge, I’m only lightly dozing when Ana calmly wakes me up first thing in the morning to tell me that it’s time. Her contractions have started and our son has decided it’s time to make an appearance on his exact due date. 

It’s D Day.

I let Taylor know, and all our carefully made plans swing into action. I try not to let my nerves show as Taylor drives us to the hospital in record time, where Dr. Greene is on standby to meet us and usher us through.

I see her frown as she examines Ana.

“This is quite a big baby you’ve got here Mrs. Grey. We’re going to have to monitor you very carefully.”

All along she’s been concerned about the size of the baby because of Ana’s small frame, and that’s why she would have agreed to perform an elective C-section.

“It’s not too late to change your mind, Ana. Please, at least think about opting for a C-section,” I plead.

“Don’t start Christian. You know I want to do this myself. I want to push him out naturally, the way he’s meant to be born.”

But as the hours tick by and there seems to be very little progress, Dr. Greene gives her a Pitocin drip to try and speed things up.

I can see Ana wilting as she gets tired from the contractions, and the drug doesn't seem to have any positive effect.

“Mrs. Grey, I think maybe it’s time to reconsider the options and opt for a C-section. You’re still nowhere near fully dilated, and my concern is that by the time you are, you’ll be too exhausted to push anyway.”

“Please, Ana. Listen to the doctor. She knows what she’s talking about. For the love of God, see reason and have a C-section,” I beg her. 

I hate being so helpless to do anything for her. Each time she has a contraction she grips my hand so hard it really hurts, but I know it’s nothing compared to what she is going through.

“No. I can do this. I'm not giving up yet,” Ana insists. She looks pale and tired but that stubborn streak of hers is keeping her going.

After another hour I see nervous looks being exchanged between the medical staff as they check the readout from Blip’s monitor.

“Mrs. Grey, you’ve been in labor for fifteen hours now. Your contractions have slowed in spite of the Pitocin. We need to do a C-section - the baby is in distress.”  

At last. About fucking time Dr. Greene showed some authority to get Ana to agree, because the tone of  her voice leaves little doubt that this is serious, and I feel the hairs stand up on the back of my neck as fear washes through me. Ana has to see reason now.

“Mrs. Grey, please. C-section,” Dr. Greene insists.

“Please, Ana,” I plead.

“Can I sleep then?” Ana whispers.

“Yes, baby, yes.” I kiss her forehead. It’s obvious she’s totally exhausted and barely able to string her words together.

“I want to see Lil’ Blip,” she murmurs.

“You will,” I promise. God willing.

“Okay,” she agrees.

Now she’s finally given her consent, all hell suddenly breaks loose as Dr. Greene starts barking out instructions, and orders Ana be moved to the OR.

Shit. From her immediate urgent reaction, this must be really serious, so I know there's more to this than she’s letting on in front of Ana.

As they start moving at speed to get Ana into theater, she grabs my arm.

“Mr. Grey, you’ll need to change into scrubs.”

She stares hard at me. “Now Mr. Grey.”

I squeeze Ana’s hand, not wanting to let her go, but knowing I have to.

Once we’re in the changing room, I face the doctor.

“What’s going on?”

“Your wife’s blood pressure has suddenly dropped, and the baby is in distress.”

“Which means?”

“We can't be sure, but it could indicate that the placenta has become detached and she could be hemorrhaging internally. If that is the case, we have to act fast to save them both. She could bleed out within minutes.”

“We could lose them both? Is that what you’re saying?”

“Yes, Mr. Grey, right now that is a strong possibility. So let’s get on with things shall we?”

Despite all the best laid plans, despite all my wealth being able to buy the best possible medical care there is, both Ana and the baby could die in the next few minutes.

As I change into the blue scrubs I'm handed, I'm so scared that it feels as if cold ice is running through my veins instead of warm blood. But I can't go to pieces.  I have to be strong for Ana. We will get through this. She has to be alright. Our baby has to survive. I can’t even let myself begin to think about the alternatives.

I hurry to be with Ana. They’ve already set up a screen across her chest and are preparing to operate.

“I'm frightened,” she whispers, as she grips my hand. 

“No, baby, no. I'm here. Don’t be frightened. Not my strong Ana.”

I try to cover up my fear, but it must still show in my eyes.

“What is it?” Ana wants to know.

I can't tell her I'm scared we’re going to lose the baby, scared that I'm going to lose her.

“What?” I try to fob her off.

“What’s wrong?” Ana persists.

“Nothing’s wrong. Everything’s fine. Baby, you’re just exhausted.”

I want to scream at them to get on with it and save my wife and my son, but I have to just stand by and watch as Dr. Greene checks Ana is fully numbed up before she makes a start.

“I love you, “ Ana whispers, her blue eyes huge with fear.

“Oh Ana. I love you too, so much.” Please don’t let these be the last words I ever say to her. Please God. Please let them live.

I look over the screen. Dr. Greene hasn’t wasted any time in making her incision. It’s fascinating and horrifying in equal measures to see her reach inside Ana’s belly to pull our baby out.

He’s blue and bloody and covered in the white vernix I’ve read about, but I see he has a shock of dark hair. And as he starts crying loudly in protest at being yanked out into the world so abruptly, it’s the most wonderful sound I've ever heard in my entire life. He’s okay.

Dr. Greene seems calm and is smiling at me, so I take it she hasn’t found any serious hemorrhaging.

“You have a boy, Mrs. Grey,” she announces, as she hands the baby over to Dr. Carter, the specialist Neonatologist my mom recommended.

“Check his Apgar.”

I watch anxiously as he carries out his assessment.

“Apgar is nine.”

I heave a huge sigh of relief. I know from all my research that a score of nine is pretty much as good as you get, and means our son is fine and healthy.

“Can I see him?” Ana’s shaky voice calls out.

Dr. Carter smiles and nods at me as he wraps the baby up in a blue sheet. I go over and take our child in my arms for the first time. He’s perfect and tiny and helpless and looks shocked at his speedy entrance into the world.

My son.

I feel this incredible, huge rush of overwhelming love for him sweep through me, and I know instantly that I would do anything, anything to protect this child. How could I ever have doubted that I would love him?

I carry him over to Ana.

“Here’s your son, Mrs. Grey.” I'm so choked up with all these immensely powerful feelings that I can hardly get the words out.

I carefully place him in her arms.




“Our son,” she whispers as she stares at his face. “He’s beautiful.” 

Tears are streaming down her face.

“He is.”

I gently kiss our beautiful boy’s head beneath all that dark hair of his. He’s fallen asleep now and looks perfect.

“Thank you Ana,” I whisper.

Thank you for the gift of this precious new life.

~~~

Ana is sleeping now after all the trauma. She is totally exhausted and has been given some strong pain relief which has knocked her out.

So I sit and hold our son, who is also fast asleep. He’s been cleaned up, and is a nice healthy pink color now. All is well. I snuggle him against my chest and it’s the most wonderful feeling in the world. I was worried I might have problems holding him close to me, but I don’t, not in the slightest, because it feels so right and natural to hold him against my chest, and I've already discovered that he has his own gorgeous unique baby smell.


“I'm so sorry, son. Forgive me for not wanting you in the beginning. Your mother always knew she wanted you, but I didn't understand and it took me a little longer to get used to the idea. I’ll make it up to you though. I promise I’ll try my hardest to be the kind of father you deserve, and I’ll always look after you. I’ll never let anyone hurt you, ever,” I vow, as I slip my finger in his tiny curled up little hand. 

He’s so perfect in every way that I can't stop looking at him. His tiny perfect toes have tiny perfect nails. He’s warm and soft like his mother. Then he yawns and stretches before settling back to sleep again, and it is the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen.

He’s completely helpless and defenseless. He has to rely totally on his mother and me to look after him. He needs us to always be there for him. 

And we will. Always.



~~~ 

Epilogue ~ Two years later

I love being a father.

I was so worried that I wouldn’t cope, but I've found that being a father is the best thing, in a way that I could never have imagined. 

Although Teddy is very demanding and incredibly hard work, I love spending as much time with him as I possibly can. As he’s growing up, I find it fascinating seeing the world through his eyes, and maybe that’s why I don’t get impatient with him, which I think has surprised Ana almost as much as it’s surprised me.


Although he has his mother’s beautiful blue eyes, apart from that our little boy is just like me in every other way, right down to having a hot temper and the same unruly copper hair that does its own thing. 

My dominant genes have created a mini me, but Ana knows exactly how to handle him, just as she’s learned to handle me. Everyone agrees that Teddy is his father’s son, no question.

But my son is nothing like the little boy I was. Teddy is the little boy I could have been if I had had a mother as wonderful as Ana when I was his age. She is amazing with him, and seeing how loving and caring and awesomely calm she is with him makes me love her even more than I already did.

Ana’s a fun Mommy who plays lots of silly games with our boy, and hearing them laughing and giggling together is the best sound in the entire world. I was scared because I thought a baby would come between us, but nothing could be further from the truth. 

Our son has strengthened the bond between us, because we’re totally united in our love for this child we’ve created, both utterly determined to do our best for him to ensure his health and happiness. 

Having a child has made me a far less selfish person, because I have to put his needs before my own when it comes to his mother’s attention, but I find this comes naturally because of how much I love him. I’ve discovered that there are no limits to how much love you can give when you’re a parent. Love is not a quantifiable resource, because it’s endless when it comes to your children.

Ana didn't want Teddy to be an only child, so we agreed not to leave it too long before having another baby. She fell pregnant the first month we started trying, so I guess we’ll have to be careful in future as it seems we have no problems conceiving babies. 

But now an unplanned pregnancy wouldn’t really faze me because I know how wonderful babies are, and how quickly they grow up. It doesn’t seem possible that Teddy is nearly two already. I've gotten him a wooden train set for his birthday, and I've had Barney convert two of the little engines to run on solar power, like the little helicopter Ana gave me not long after we met, which is still on my desk at work. 

I’m determined that my kids will be brought up to be environmentally aware and responsible, so you can't start teaching about renewable energy resources too early in my opinion.

We love spending  time together outside in our meadow. For Ana, I think it’s somewhere she feels she can relax away from the ever present security scrutiny we live with. Of course there are cameras monitoring the entire area, but they are very discrete out here. 

I will never change; I have to know where my family is at all times, and that they are safe. Hyde may have been found guilty and locked away, but you never know what other sick fuckers might have planned. 

Take Elena’s ex husband for example. Linc is a broken man, thanks to me, so he’d have a motive to come after me again. That’s why Welch has him under permanent surveillance.

We’ve only had contact with Elena once, and that was by accident. She somehow managed to slip under my mom’s radar and got herself invited to a charity function that we were attending when Ana was about seven and a half months pregnant with Teddy. I froze when I saw Elena’s unmistakable presence across the room, and pulled Ana to one side, just as her eyes fixed on her too.

“I’ll understand if you’d rather we left, Ana,” I offered, not wanting her to get upset.

Ana stared hard across the room at her enemy for a minute, before straightening her shoulders determinedly.

“No. Why should we be forced to leave and run away just because she’s here? You’ve explained to me how she got her claws into you, so I know exactly what kind of a vile person she is. I may not trust her, but I trust you completely, Christian. You've told me it’s over between you, that it's all in the past, and I believe you. So she’s nobody to us, is she?”

“Are you sure about this? I don’t want you getting upset or stressed, not in your condition,” I worried, secretly fuming that all our security screening had not picked up on the fact that Elena would be attending this function. How had she evaded detection? Maybe she’d come as someone’s anonymous plus one?

“I'm sure, Christian. You have a speech to make, and I don’t see why you should let down this worthwhile children’s charity, just because that woman doesn’t know when she’s not welcome.”

So we carried on as normal, with Ana totally blanking Elena when we walked in, just as if she wasn’t there. I didn't attempt to make any kind of contact, and thank God she wasn’t seated anywhere near us. I think she must have been right at the back somewhere, because I couldn’t even see her when I stood up to make my speech. 

To be on the safe side, I ordered Taylor to make sure the security team prevented Elena gaining any kind of access to us. It made for an uncomfortable evening though, and we left as soon as we could.

Maybe the fact that we’d actually been in the same room made Elena believe that things were back to normal. It’s the only explanation  I could come up with as to why she saw fit to send a present for Teddy soon after he was born.

The first I knew about it was when I noticed what appeared to be some kind of a blue baby outfit cut up into very small pieces in the trash, along with a ripped up card.

“It was from her,” Ana explained when she saw my puzzled look. “And I'm not having anything she’s touched contaminating our son. Or anybody else’s son. So I disposed of it.”

“Okay,” I said slowly, treading very carefully. Ana was very hormonal as her breast milk had just come in, and I thought she was quite likely to burst into tears if I didn't handle this situation tactfully.”We could have just sent it back, then Elena would have gotten the message.”

“No. That’d just be giving the bitch the attention that she clearly still craves from you. My way is best,” Ana glared, challenging me to disagree. “Although I suppose you could still send it back to her in its current state if you really want. I think she’d definitely get the message then, don’t you?” 

I couldn’t help smiling as I looked at the shredded pieces of Elena’s unwelcome gift. It looked as if Ana had really taken out her frustration on it. So be it.

“No, you’re right, baby. Let’s not waste any more of our time even talking about her.” 


~~~

“Let’s find Mommy. She’s hiding in the grass.”

Teddy loves playing hide and seek. And he loves being tickled and being thrown up in the air and swung round. All the things that I couldn’t enjoy as a child, he loves, and it makes me very happy to hear him shrieking with laughter as we play together.

Ana loves it too, because I hear her giggling, giving the game away that she’s nearby.

“Mommy!”

Ted is impatient to find her. Just like me, he doesn’t like being kept waiting.

“Teddy!” Ana calls out, to give him a clue where to find her.

“Mommy!” Ted screams as he finds her and launches himself at her. 

Of course he doesn't understand that he needs to be careful because Mommy is six months pregnant with his baby sister, but Ana doesn’t seem to mind as she showers him with hugs and kisses. 


Our little boy is never short of affection from either of us. Once again I'm surprised by how easily this came to me, considering how hard I used to find this kind of thing. But our baby boy smells divine, and is always so gorgeous to hold and cuddle and kiss that I find him totally irresistible, just like his mother.

We all sit in the grass together for a while, and as Ted sits on my lap, I give him my cell to play with to keep him quiet for a few minutes. Luckily Ros and Andrea are used to their calls being intercepted by my son these days.

Ever since he was a tiny baby, I've regularly had Ana bring him into my office. It’s somewhere I want him to be totally familiar with, because my gut instinct already tells me that he’s going to be following in my footsteps to run GEH one day. 

We’re just so alike and on the same wavelength that I can't see how he can turn out any other way, but Ana says I mustn't try and force him into being anything he doesn’t want to be, and I know she’s right. But in any case I like seeing them both at the office, they bring the place to life.

“Of course you realize it makes you even sexier to other women, carrying round a cute little baby,” Ana told me one time after she’d brought Teddy into the office.

“What do you mean?” I’d asked innocently. I know it’s very shallow, but I'm perfectly aware of the effect my looks have on women, and I don’t deny that I’ve used it to my advantage countless times in the past. But she was saying that our baby made me more attractive?

“She’s right, Christian,” Ros had piped up in agreement. “Practically every woman in the building swoons even more than usual when they see you walking round with young Theodore here.”


Well I didn't give a fuck about any of that. I just like having my son with me in my working environment as well as at home. He helps me to focus on what’s important for my family, for their future.  I think I'm going to find it an even greater challenge having a girl, but I guess I'm just going to have to adapt and get used to it.

We’ve been discussing names for our daughter. Ana suggested calling her Ella. I don’t deny it’s a very pretty name, but there is no way I can taint my daughter by having such a strong association with my birth mother, despite having made huge steps to come to terms with my past.

With Flynn’s full approval, both Mom and Ana have been pushing me to confront my issues, now that I'm a parent and have some insight into how difficult it must have been for my birth mother to manage on her own with me. Perhaps now I do finally get why she didn't give me up for adoption when I was born, because if she experienced that same immense rush of overpowering love that I did, then I guess she wouldn’t have been able to let her baby go.

But I'm still trying to get my head around how she could have let me be so badly abused, when I know I would never let anyone so much as lay a finger on my son. Ana has tried to get me to see that she was a very ill, disturbed and vulnerable young woman who had an addictive nature, which turned her into a drug user as a means of  escaping from her problems. She’d ended up in a terrible place, a place where she’d lost control of her life, and lost the ability to protect me as she should have done. At least Ana and I agree that she was a really shitty mother.

Despite this, Ana insists that it isn’t a sign of weakness to admit that I loved her, because it’s a natural instinct for any little boy to love his mother, so I didn't have any choice in the matter. But the crack whore made me feel so worthless. I always believed that my own mother found me unlovable, because surely if she had loved me even just a little, she would have striven harder to protect and care for me, instead of sitting back and letting all that bad shit happen to me, while she just watched from her drug induced stupor.

I could only finally admit  out loud that I had loved her when Ana tracked down the grave where my destitute and penniless birth mother had been buried, the cost of which I discovered had been covered by my parents, because they’d felt it only fitting to ensure my birth mother had a proper final resting place. They’d found out that otherwise her body would have been left where it was in the morgue, until such time as either a local church could raise enough funds to help out, or the state could be persuaded to fund the costs. 

I broke down in tears when we found the plot and I saw her grave stone, because it was about the saddest thing I think I’d ever seen. 

Ella Maxwell.

Born September 21st 1964
Died September 21st 1987

Mother of Christian.

May Your Soul Rest In Peace.

 So the crack whore had died on her 23rd birthday, probably because she’d treated herself to an extra dose of drugs to celebrate.

I hadn't known any of this.

I ordered her headstone to be cleaned and restored out of a sense of duty, thinking it was the least her only son could do as a token of respect, even if I still wasn’t sure she deserved that respect. Ana has tried to get me to see that she couldn’t help her addictive nature, and that I have to learn to forgive her and let go of the anger that I’ve always held in, because it just isn’t healthy for me.

I'm working on it.

There’s a whole lot more shit still to come out, because Mom has told me she has a box that contains the last few possessions that belonged to my birth mother, including her diary. Will this give any clues as to the identity of my birth father? Do I even want to know after all this time? Mom hasn’t read the diary because she didn't think it was proper. She says only Ella’s son has that right, but I haven’t felt ready to deal with it yet.

As Flynn always says, one step at a time.

I don’t want to wallow in the past when the present and future are what really count right now with my family. That’s all I really want to think about. Ana, Ted and the new baby that I’m thinking of suggesting we name Phoebe. If Ana likes it, hopefully it’ll stop her going on about calling our daughter Ella. 

I wouldn’t do that to my daughter, I wouldn’t name her after a crack whore. I don’t use that term out loud so much these days because Ana hates it, but there’s no escaping that’s what she was. A drug addict who funded her addiction by prostituting herself. Not a great role model for my daughter to aspire to. Phoebe Grace would be a perfect name, or I wouldn't mind Phoebe Carla instead if Ana preferred. But not Ella.

Ana is far more relaxed and laid back with Teddy, and says I worry too much, but I can't help it. She seems to be able to tell instinctively when he cries whether he’s really hurt or not, but I never take any chances and go to him straight away. 

So when I hear him crying after Taylor’s daughter Sophie has taken him for a walk, I'm on my feet in seconds to find them. Ana just follows up behind smiling, as I discover the cause of Ted’s anguish is a dropped popsicle. When you’re only two, I guess that is a major tragedy. Ana manages to quickly distract him and stop his tears, as she always does somehow.


“You're so good with him,” I smile at her.

“This little one?” She ruffles his hair in the same way she likes to ruffle mine. “It’s only because I have the measure of you Grey men,” she smirks at me. So true.

“Yes, you do, Mrs. Grey,” I laugh back.

And so we make our way back to the house in search of Mrs. Taylor, as Gail is now, to find a replacement popsicle for Teddy. We swing him between us as we walk along which he loves, as Sophie skips ahead of us. 

Taylor is quite the family man himself these days as he and Gail have settled into their married quarters. Keeping them both happy and contented hopefully means they’ll never leave us, because they are both indispensable and irreplaceable.

~~~

I love reading bedtime stories to Teddy, and I always try my hardest to be back in time to read to him whenever I can. I’ve wanted to be there for as many of his milestone moments as I possibly can. 

Taylor’s gotten used to it now, but when Teddy was only a few weeks old, I ordered him to get me back to our house as fast as he could. He thought something must be wrong until I explained that Ana had rung to tell me Teddy had just smiled for the first time, and I wanted to see this for myself before he went back to sleep. I don’t care if Taylor thought I was going soft in the head. You don’t ever get moments like that back do you? And with how fast Ted has grown up already, I know I was right.


It’s his second birthday tomorrow, and we’re having a family party. The train set is all ready for him, although Ana says he’ll be bored with it after two minutes. That’s okay, because then Elliot and I can play with it. His daughter Ava is only two months old, so he hasn’t got to play with any of the good stuff yet.

Ana and I gaze up at the beautiful view as the sun sinks behind the Olympic Peninsula, and I pull her into my arms.

“It’s quite a view,” she murmurs.

“It is,” I gaze at her when she turns round to look at me. I kiss her soft lips. “It’s a beautiful view. My favorite.”

“It’s home.”

I grin and kiss her again. “I love you, Mrs. Grey.”

“I love you too, Christian. Always.”

THE END 



Author’s Notes.

So that’s the final chapter of ‘Meet Fifty Shades’. It’s taken just over a year to reach the end of the story, and I hope you’ll agree that it’s been quite a journey. The thoughts of Christian Grey have dominated my life in a way that I could never have envisaged when I started out.

Both Christian and Grace's blogs will continue to remain open and free for everyone to read, advert free. I have also produced PDF versions that can be downloaded - use the tab at the top of the blog. 
As I say at the end of each and every chapter, I've written this fanfiction story for fun and not for profit, but I am suggesting that you might like to make a small donation to a charity of your choice in return for receiving these free PDF versions. 

So, what next?

Read Grace's Story - Fifty Shades retold through the eye's of Christian's mother:  http://christiangreymomstory.blogspot.co.uk/

Visit my Authors web page for all the latest information on my original books: http://www.gegriffin.com/

·       ‘Like’ my Facebook page to be updated with the latest Teasers and pictures:  
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My thanks go to each and every one of you for being such fantastic loyal readers.

It wouldn't have been the same without you.


I don’t own any of the Fifty Shades Trilogy or the characters therein. They belong to E L James. I’m just borrowing them for fun and not for profit. Please refer to the Legal’s page for further details. This work is not to be copied or reproduced in any way without permission. 


272 comments:

  1. Long time reader, first time poster. Wow. What a ride! Thank you for writing this story. It has been a pleasure to read - I think I've probably contributed about 50,000 of your page views. All the best for your future endeavors :)

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    1. Thanks for posting, and for being a loyal reader :)

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  2. Amazing. I have commented many times with how much I love your writing and now this is the last time. I have loved every single chapter and finished reading this one in tears.

    I wish you the best of luck with Starr Fated. I will be buying it on it's release day.

    Thank you again for giving us Christians POV.

    xx

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    1. I went through quite a few tissues as I was writing the chapter too :)

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    2. Hi, congratulations. There are possibilities of being told he had written in the journal Christian's biological mother?

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    3. We'll have to wait and see what Ella's diaries hold, won't we?

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  3. Perfect ending for a perfect story :) Thank you for writing this!!! I look forward to seeing your new book published, you are such a good writer :) Good luck with your new book and thanks again for bringing us along to see Christian's changes :)

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    1. Thanks for following and reading the story.

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  4. im crying right know i will miss cheeking this page every day i see if you have posted
    i was wondering if that maybe you could write a new blog about what happend with christen when he was a sub for elana for the first couple of year
    i love your writting and wish you all the best
    good luck.

    Shannon :)

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    1. Hi Shannon. I'm not sure I have the stomach to write about Christian as Elena's sub! But thanks for reading and commenting :)

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  5. Thank you it was awesome..... i loved it
    lucy

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    1. You are welcome and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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  6. Thank you so much. You've made me laugh, made me cry, made me smile...perfect.
    The embellishments around Christian's preparations for the birth were inspired and so perfectly Fifty.
    I'll miss this blog, but I'm excited to see what you come up with next - I'm all hooked up.

    thanks again,
    Mrs P

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    1. Hi Mrs P. Glad to know you're on board for the next ride.

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  7. thank you for one of the best written fan fic's out there you have done a wonderful job with this and look forward to your future endeavours

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  8. Thankyou thankyou, thankyou for this lovely ending, the baby pictures were great too. I will returne to read the whole thing over and over again. It has been a real joy to watch this man morph from a very shallow, selfish man to a whole person with future hopes and dreams. Thanks to your lovely writing.jeangb

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    1. I agree totally with you about the transformation of Christian. That's the power of love, isn't it?

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    2. It sure is.I do hope that sometime in the future you can give us more insight into his journey. Thankyou once again. I am loving hos moms pov jeangb

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  9. One word. Brilliant........
    Bronny NZ

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  10. Thankyou!!! I have loved every word, looking forward for Grace's chapter

    Ana

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    1. Hi Ana. Grace is going to be over the moon with little Teddy isn't she?

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  11. Thank you does not seem enough to say for all the lovely writing you have given us, it has been a joy a delight and such a thrill to read my favourite books through Christian's eyes. I have been enthralled all the way through each chapter, well done and thank you very much.

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    1. Hi Sheila. My thanks to you for reading as well - wouldn't be much point in writing it otherwise :)

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  12. Excelente , gracias por compartir su talento, ponerle voz a lamente de Cristian , espero con ansias su libro. Y verlo traducido al castellano
    Exitos !
    Atte Gloria

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    1. Thanks Gloria. I'd love a Spanish version of my book, we'll have to see how things go.

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  13. im so glad that i found you! ive been reading this from the first chapter. i think you have done a great job with christian point off view. thank you soo much for this and for finishing the story. looking forward to your book. :) love love love

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    1. HI Jodie. Thanks for sticking with me from the beginning. That's what makes it all worthwhile.

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  14. don't really have the words to express my gratitude. I'm softly crying as I type this. You've rocked my world (and the Grey books certainly did). You have had a profound impact on my life for a very long time. You have fed a secret passion and II will remain a loyal fan for sure.

    I really liked ALL the pictures...baby....Christian & baby. They are perfect. You have quite a future ahead of you and I'll be happy to share a small part of it. Thanks for posting your picture....you certainly look like a lovely lady. I wonder if your book club friends have figured out what you've been up to? All the best to you. I will read Starr Fated the day it is released, even if I have to call in sick...I will have NO problem with that. One word of advice...please don't wait forever to put out the 2nd book. I have found that that is VERY hard on readers.

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    1. Hi Nancy. I finally confessed all to my book club friends, and they're still speaking to me, so that's positive!
      I totally understand about not waiting too long for the second book in the STARR series, because I know it can be very frustrating when you are left hanging. But you have to balance out pushing it through and making sure it's as good as you can make it. I have no intention of leaving it too long though :)

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    2. I'm sure you will know the best time to get your 2nd book to the public. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart. I almost feel as though someone died today. Hard for me to explain. I'm very emotional. Such a wonderful love story. I told me husband that a chapter in my life is over and a new one beginning with your book. He just listened. I think he doesn't know what to say, but he's a very "lucky" man these days. ;)

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  15. An excellent chapter to end the series on. I must thank you for your time and effort in producing the blogs, I don't underestimate how this must have absorbed you for the past year. I think your writing has been at it's best when you used your imagination so I am looking forward to reading your books.

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    1. Thanks. Writing Fanfiction certainly holds its own challenges - trying to blend in with the original story while still bringing something new. I'm glad you enjoyed reading my blog anyway.

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  16. Feeling very emotional at the moment. What can I say but Amazing. Thank you for sharing the journey, the past 12 months have been a blast. xxx

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    1. They certainly have. I never dreamed my blog would be anywhere near as popular as it's become. Who knew?

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  17. Wow, I've always followed your stories, I'm sad this story is finished, but look forward to your book.

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    1. Thanks. There's always something new around the corner :)

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  18. Wow! This has been a wonderful journey. You are I indeed beyond talented. You have a gift. Thanks so much for sharing this gift with us. I read the trilogy over a year ago and I'm still obsessed with our favorite couple. xo

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    1. Hi Karen. Obsessed is the word for a long of folk out there when it comes to Fifty Shades :)

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  19. Thanks so much for all your time and effort on writing Christian's story. Its been a fantastic read and so appreciated. Thanks again

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  20. Thank you again for sacrificing your life for ALL of us. It's been quite a ride!

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  21. Thank you very much for Christian pov I have loved them you have done a great job thank you. I can't wit yo read our own book

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    1. I can't wait to get my book out there either, Mandy :)

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  22. nice i loved it..nothing could be better...waiting for the movie :)

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    1. Only just over a year to wait for the movie.....

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  23. We've got yet another dreary Saturday morning in Chicago, but this brightens it up considerably.
    Wonderful ending to this blog - we see the perfect blend of Fifty control freakishness, combined with his feeble attempts at cool detachment which are of course overrun by his love and pride of new fatherhood. Really, really well done and not over-done. (Cool pics too)

    I know there had been some off-putting events swirling around completing this project. I didn't discover your blog until after it was taken off fanfiction.net (I read your bio on your Dr. Grace posting to find this originally) so I'm sure there's a story there. Then there were the incidents of out and out content theft of the blog (plagiarism doesn't seem strong enough a word) and of course the weird "nutter" comment postings. It would have been easy to have gotten discouraged with the whole thing. I admire your determination to see it through to the end. I only hope that even with the bumps in the road you enjoyed writing it half as much as we enjoyed reading it. Thank you.

    I am looking forward to a timely release of Starr Fated - hoping its release coincides with my July vacation which will mostly consist of a Lake Michigan beach cabin and a e-reader.

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    1. Hi Mary,
      Yes, there have been some ups and downs along the way, and I can't deny that at times I wondered why I was doing this. But the answer was always the same. All the wonderful loyal readers out there who eagerly waited for the next chapter each week.The pleasure I've gained from knowing that people are enjoying what I'm writing has far outweighed any negativity. I would never have had the confidence to write my own book if I hadn't had such positive feedback.
      So on to the next challenge. Learning how to self publish Starr Fated. Fingers crossed it works out okay!

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  24. THANK YOU for the past year+. I have loved your chapters and getting insight into our Christian. I really appreciate all of your dedication to this blog. Your writing is terrific and I am looking forward to reading all of your original works!!

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    1. Hi Rhonda. It's always nice to hear from you, and I'm glad you've enjoyed reading my blog over the past year.

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  25. I want to truly thank you for devoting your time to this for us, your readers. I will certainly miss staying up Thursday evenings (US time) waiting for the chapter posts as I've followed this for some time now. You've done such a wonderful job here! Sometimes I feel like you knew the characters better than James herself! Haha. While I enjoyed the plot and characters of FSOG, there were so many loose ends that left me wanting closure. I resorted to the internet because I figured someone felt the same way, and I stumbled across this gem -- it is exactly what I was looking for.

    It is also refreshing to see your feedback on the comments people post on the blog even after it ballooned in popularity. I can't imagine handling everyone's opinion on what you should write about. Yet you've gone ahead and explained yourself countless times. :)

    From the bottom of my heart, I wish you the best of luck going forward. I also hope that while exhausting, I'm sure, this journey has provided you with the tools to be successful and establish a platform on your own intellectual accord. Sorry I'm pouring my heart out here, but I'm a bit nostalgic about it all being over!

    A long-time fan,
    Alex

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    1. Aw, Alex. I'm feeling pretty emotional myself too. My daughter suggested cracking open a bottle of bubbly to celebrate reaching the final chapter, but it didn't feel right somehow.
      It's been very interesting reading everyone's comments, and I've tried not to take any negative comments to heart. I've always been more than happy to take on board constructive criticisms regarding the dreaded British-isms for example, because I've never made a secret of the fact that, just like ELJ, I am a Brit attempting to write a story set in the USA. So, at least my book - Starr Fated - is set in London, my home turf, so no one should be able to pick me up on those kind of quirks!

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    2. Pop that bottle! You deserve it!

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  26. So beautiful. This really brought a new dimension to the story. Thank you so much for your time and effort, and best of luck in all your writing.

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  27. Thank you so much for all of your time and energy spent writing this wonderful story from Christian's POV. Your efforts have been a strong compliment to the story that Ms. James wrote and have served, for me at least, to strengthen her work. I can honestly say that my enjoyment of the 3 Grey books were increased because of your writings.

    This last chapter had so much love and tenderness (Christian's continuing control issues notwithstanding) and I found it very touching. I even enjoyed all the baby stuff.....and I'm allergic to kids!!

    Thanks again, Ms. Griffin. We close out this last chapter of the Grey POV with a view towards new writings from you, your own original characters. I'm so looking forward to that.

    Pat (aka Boots).

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    1. Hi Pat/Boots. Even if you're allergic to kids, cute pictures are tolerable I think. I just loved portraying the aspect of Christian's transformation to a loving father, along with the sexiness of a proper macho alpha male proudly carrying his cute little baby :)

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  28. I have enjoyed every chapter!!! You did an amazing job with Christian's POV!! I think I have enjoyed reading Christian's POV more than the original books!! Thank you.

    I look forward to reading your new book!

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  29. Thank you so much for this amazing chapter. I saved reading it until I knew I had the house to myself and no need to rush anywhere so I could saviour it. Now having a little cry that its the end.

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    1. Nothing wrong with having a private blub in the privacy of your own home. But I prefer to think of the story as completed now rather than ended :)

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  30. Thank you thank you thank you. I have loved every single chapter you have written from Christians point of view, and I can't believe we are at the end. The best point of view written, would love to have this point of view to keep on my kindle to read when feeling blue. I do hope you manage to do the pdf version I'll be down loading in a heart beat!!!!! Thank you for writing this story I have have been happy sad and very emotional reading each chapter, and I looked forward to the updates of each chapter. I wish you well with your story and will wait to read it. Loved the last chapter so emotional, New additions to the Grey's world and the love continues to grow. Once again thank you one very happy fan, keep up the good work.

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    1. Thanks for your kind words. I'm working on the PDF version for everyone who's expressed an interest.

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  31. Thank you. It's been brilliant reading.

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  32. Thank u so much for your amazing writing , thank you for keeping this blog ill be coming back in the near future to read it again , good luck on your new projects I already liked you on face book and twitter so I can be informed as soon as you but something new out there .
    Again thank you so much for you wonderfully written thoughts of Christian gray you did E L James proud .

    Noor

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    1. Hi Noor - good to know you're following my author links :)

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  33. Sniff, sniff.... Well done on this CPOV blog, it is incredible and you should be proud of the fan base that you have built. We are all eagerly awaiting your new book. Best of luck!

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  34. Outstanding! Thank you for every single chapter.

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  35. Thank you!! I loved reading Christian's POV, you have done an excellent job writing these!!!

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    1. Always good to know that you enjoyed reading my blog, Rosebud.

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  36. Thank you for incredible journey!!! I look forward to Graces point of view!!!

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    1. Hi Gwen - it's been quite a journey hasn't it?

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  37. Wow I can't actually believe that was the last chapter. It doesn't seem like a year has passed. I want to thank you for your insight into how Christian experienced everything. We all know the story as so beautifully written by EL James as we got to know Ana so well, but because we never really got to know Christian it felt a little one sided. However you have corrected this through your fabulous writing and I look forward to reading your first book when it comes out and hopefully many more to follow. Thanks again for all your time and effort you have put into this and I wish you all the best for the future.
    Fiona x

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    1. I agree, Fiona, where has a whole year gone? It's been fun getting to know the inner workings of Christian's mind though :)

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  38. What an amazing chapter. Very emotional too. I must admit I got very teary-eyed at the part about Ella. Especially when Christian read the gravestone. I'm sure going to miss this story and Grace's too but look forward to your bool and all your future prospects. Thank you so much for this incredible journey and the wonderful visual parade. I will definitely be following your other sites. You are an awesome writer and I've enjoyed your work immensely.

    Nan :D

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    1. Hi Nan. It was so sad about Ella, wasn't it? I went through a few tissues myself as I was writing it.

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  39. I was re- reading chapter 31 the different proposition for the thousandth time around 4am est, when your last chapter popped up and nearly fell it of my bed. So amazing and wonderful...I love, love you so much.. Thanks so much for wonderful mind.

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  40. What a great story. I look forward to reading your book and wish you the best of luck. Also, thank you for the numerous hours of free entertainment you have provided for us.

    Patrice

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    1. It's been a fun journey hasn't it? It's been great for me to hear that folk have enjoyed my writing and used it as escapism from the real world for just a few minutes anyway.

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  41. Thanks.... loved it, I began to follow you this past month, and I fell in love with this side of the story... it was wonderful... thanks for your time and passion.
    Loved it!

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    1. Good to know you found your way to my blog :)

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  42. Congratulations, your sensitivity is amazing. Thanks for brighten my life!
    Paty
    Brazil

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  43. Your work is EXCEPTIONAL and BRILLIANT......CPOV is equal to Ana's POV and you have well and truly channeled ELJ for their complete story to be told. Much gratitude for creating a wonderful compilation of words that are a lovely escape! Again and again! I have contributed obsessively to your page count....and I also thoroughly LOVE the British-isms! Looking forward to your literary future! and THANK YOU for your dedication, Cheryl

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    1. Well, Cheryl, I'm glad to know you enjoyed the British-isms anyway!

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  44. Dizer obrigada é pouco, pois vai além do sentimento de gratidão o prazer que você nos proporcionou com a leitura do POV de Christian. Ouço muitas pessoas criticarem a história do livro (sem terem lido) dizendo que é muito erótico, muitos detalhadas as cenas de sexo, mas eu sempre respondo que o que mais me encantou foi o poder do amor em transformar aquele homem Todo Poderoso, Egoísta, Megalomaníaco em um homem muito amoroso, sensível e cheio de qualidades.
    Estou feliz por ver como esse homem encontrou o seu rumo, graças a força do amor, mas um pouco triste pela fim da história.
    Parabéns pelo seu belo e difícil trabalho, sabemos que fez com amor, por isso ficou tão bom.
    Gostaria de comprar seu livro, caso ele seja traduzido para o português, vou acompanhar suas atualizações para ver como as coisas se isso vai acontecer.
    Sucesso e muitas felicidades em sua vida!
    Saudações do Brasil.

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    1. I agree, Claudia. Fifty Shades is a romantic love story, and that's why so many people love it.

      I'd love my book to be translated into Portuguese - we'll just have to see how things go :)

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  45. This was amazing. I've loved reading each and every chapter you've written. You provided me with so much joy in reading your story with Christian's POV. Thank you so much. I'm really looking forward to reading your book and wish you all the best. Later's baby. :)

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    1. Hi Martha. It's always lovely to hear from you, and I'm glad reading my blog has given you pleasure over the last year.

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  46. I have truly enjoyed reading this, you have done an amazing job! I literally cried the whole time I read this chapter! so sad to see it end!

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    1. Nothing wrong with letting some emotion out, is there?

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  47. You can't see it, but right now I'm giving you a standing ovation. :-) You did a phenomenal job with Christian's POV, and I really looked forward to every chapter. I will miss this weekly FSOG fix, but I wish you lots of luck with your original story. I'll be checking for the update on Grace's blog, and I really hope to read a new blog detailing the contents of Ella's diary one day. I'm hoping that if I say "pretty please", you'll consider doing it. :-)
    Good luck and thanks again!!!!!!
    Brenda in NYC

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    1. Hi Brenda. I've been giving a lot of thought to covering Ella's diary at some point in the future, when Christian feels more able to handle it. So we'll see.....

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  48. this was amazing, i keep reading all the chapters you have written. I love the Christian Grey side of the story, its very touching about him becoming the family man! Im looking forward to your book coming out. I cant wait to read it. Im always looking forward to your other blogs with Christians mom point of veiw!.

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    1. Christian's story had to be told, didn't it Deena? So I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

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  49. Wow, beautiful chapter and ending. I think you have done a fantastic job writing these chapters, loved Christian's POV. I am in tears that are both happy and sad tears. Happy for a great chapter and sad because it is the last chapter. See ya around on Goodreads, Facebook and Pinterest.

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    1. Love your icon, Mary. Good to know you'll be keeping in touch.

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  50. What an amazing writer you are !.as much as I am 'Grey-sessed",I am now a 'Griffin-sessed"..
    you brought more to life the character of Christian and Ana .
    now what shall we do without our weekly fix???
    please continue writing ..
    awaiting 'star fated ' eagerly.

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    1. Haha, Griffin-sessed. That's a new one on me :)

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  51. Are you taking one-short story ideas???!!! I would love to explore Ella's possessions from CPOV with Dr. Flynn....and also Elliot and Kate's wedding from Grace's POV???!!! Truthfully, you are the only writer who can do these stories justice---you have a unique way of getting inside the minds of these characters and weaving your own unique magic!!! Begging....

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    1. I have all sorts of one shot ideas swirling around in my head. Whether any or all of them ever make it onto the blog remains to be seen! But thanks for your support :)

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  52. I spent last summer starting to read your blog I was behind so I had to catch up I have loved every chapter and I have read sections more than once. I look forward to your book You are so very talented Thank you so much for such a great read

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  53. Oh my. What can I say. You are a very talented writer and I thank you for putting this together for all of us to enjoy. This final chapter was written perfect. So perfect I cried and couldn't see the page. I loved how you did all this and I look forward to reading more of your work. I'll miss the posting I have looked forward to each week.
    I think it is time to go back to the first chapter and reread it all from the beginning.
    Thank you again.

    Lee Gajda

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    1. Reading the blog again sounds like a great idea :)

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  54. Thank you for Christians POV I have been totally captivated by each chapter. You have really put into words Christians roller coaster ride to the sensitive caring man he is that we have all fallen in love with. You are a fantastic writer and can't wait for Starr Fated. Linda

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    1. It's been great discovering the other side of Christian hasn't it, Linda?

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  55. Wow, amazing ending to this wonderful fan fic!! I never would've guessed that you are a lady, considering how well you wrote Christian's pov...I just figured only a guy could get the guy's pov so perfectly, but I was wrong! I loved getting to see Christian's beautiful transformation to fatherhood - so very sweet getting to see his heart melt when he first got to hold his new son, and I'm sure he will even more when he holds his new daughter! I'm so glad I learned of your blog so I could enjoy this story along with so many others. Kudos!!

    Steph

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    1. That's the beauty of an active imagination I guess - you can be whoever you choose to be, for a short while anyhow.

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  56. Simply fabulous! Bravo! Thank you for the journey! I have enjoyed it immensely! So glad you did not sop last year when FF took it down! You captured Christian so well! Thanks for your tireless effort! ~ Blondegirl3

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    1. I think FF did me a favour actually. It forced me to set up a blog, which I hadn't got a clue about in the beginning, so it's been a huge learning curve that has given me terrible headaches at times, but I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

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  57. I can't believe it's over. I have read it from the very beginning. Wonderful work and interpretation. Thank you for taking it to the end.

    SheeBee

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    1. I keep telling everyone it's not over. It's just complete, and now you can read the story from start to finish without waiting for the next update :)

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  58. Thank you for taking us on your journey with Christian and Ana. Your story for Christian's point of view has been very enjoyable. Good Luck with your future endeavors.

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  59. Thank you so much for this wonderful journey of Christian! I've been with you since the first chapter and I just can't believe it's over! I'll miss the excitement I would feel each time you posted a new chapter. You can already count me in for Starr fated! One more thing... Would you ever like to continue this POV of Christian? Like Phoebes first birthday or something like that? Of course not now since you have Starr fated to focus on but maybe in the not to distant future?

    Emily in Texas!

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    1. Hi Emily. Good to know you've been here from day 1. And I'm certainly not ruling out the possibility of further one shots if inspiration hits :)

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  60. Oh my.. I can't just stop crying. I can't believe that it's over. Oh, I hate it when those stories I love ends. I had also cried when I had finished reading 'Fifty Shades Freed'. I'll miss reading this story. Though I sure I'm gonna re-read it again and then again... Just like I re-read 'Fifty Shades Trilogy' every time I wish.
    I should tell you that I'm not gonna ask for a any better after what a great job you did with this story. You really are a amazing writer. And I think you really love Christian, otherwise you couldn't understand him the way you did. I loved reading every word of this story.
    Lena Ray.

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    1. How could anyone fail to love Christian when he's so adorable under that Dominate persona?
      Thanks for following the story, Lena.

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  61. Voy a echar de menos a Christian y Ana. No podrias escribir un poco mas sobre ellos? Sobre como le fue a Ana liderando SIP, sobre su vida conyugal como padres con hijos y sobre Kate y Elliot y la demas familia?
    Gracias por tu gran trabajo!
    MC

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    1. There will be more to come at some point :)

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  62. Omg!! Can't believe it's over!!! I'm so sad!! Thank you so much for all the amazing job you did, you never ceased to amaze me with every chapter. I just wish there was more story to tell, It would be great it you could continue the story from this point, something like "a day with the Grey family" o anything like that lol gosh I know I'm totally obsessed, anyway thank you so much! You are amazing! I totally loved it!!

    Greetings from Mexico :)
    Carla

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    1. Hi Carla. No one wants the story to end, do they?

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  63. why does it have to come to an end?? why?? I wish there where more books of the Grey Saga, I loved every chapter you posted here, thank you so much, we appreciate the effort you put into it, we really do sweetie ♥ ♥ ♥

    Kisses from Mexico ;)

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    1. Thanks, Princess. I appreciate all the support too.

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  64. Thank you! It's going to be sad not to have new chapters of this story to look forward to anymore.

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    1. All good things come to an end I suppose, but there will still be updates from time to time.

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  65. I want to "Thank you" for the past year of great reading. This was my Saturday/Sunday morning with that first cup of coffee me time. I have enjoyed reading Christian's POV. I am sad that it is done. Thanks again!

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    1. You can always re read - everyone needs some me time after all :)

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  66. I've been reading these chapters since I discovered your blog earlier this year and I've been hooked! Each chapter has been read several times, especially whilst eagerly awaiting the next. Whilst I'm so sorry that this has now ended, I now await your own book and I hope it'll be available to download on Kindle?

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    1. Yes, Starr Fated will be available for Kindle :)

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    2. Thank you, something to look forward to! If it's half as good as this has been, it'll be marvellous. Us Brits can certainly write!!

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  67. I know this wasn't in the books either, but I can't help feel as though Ana's mom just wasn't around as much as she should have been. her absence in her life is so noticeable at the major events, yet when they went to Savannah they seemed to have a great time together and her mother seemed like a lovely lady. but even at the birth of their son, she doesn't seem to be there.

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    1. I know what you mean about Ana's mom, but my guess would be that ELJ didn't want to water down or complicate the story line too much at that stage, but instead concentrated on Ana and Christian for the birth of their son. I found it quite hard writing the scene when everyone was at Escala after Christian went missing when Charlie Tango went down, because it seemed the world and his wife were there - Kate, Elliot, Ethan, Jose, Grace, Mia, Carrick, Taylor, Mrs Jones - have I forgotten anyone - oh, Ana as well!It's hard writing everyone's reactions but still keeping the story focused, so maybe that was why ELJ kept it simpler further on in the story.
      Just my take on things :)

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    2. yes, I suppose. I just find myself defending Ana's mom (in another blog) as though she didn't really care, which I find hard to believe. Yes, I understand she and you were concentrating on A & C but you can't help but get into the other characters. Thank you for your response. I know you are busy lady. BTW. who's the HOT dad with the baby in your pictures?

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    3. remember '50 shades' is 'Twilight' fan fiction and Bella's mom wasn't really around in the third book for Renesme either.

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    4. Good point about Bella's mom and Renesme.

      The hot dad in the picture is Cam Gigandet - he played evil vampire James in Twilight. Google for images - there are some great father/baby pictures of him ;)

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  68. To quote Dr. Seuss, "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened". What can I say, I am so sad that we have reached the end of the story, but I have so enjoyed reading each & every chapter. You are an amazing & talented writer. Thank-you for putting so much of your time into this for all your loyal fans. You have taken Christian full circle for us, cold & seemingly "heart-less" to warm & loving.
    Please surprise us every now & then with a new chapter. I know you can give us more.
    I can't wait to read your own book! Still hoping for more Grey family updates in the future.
    Thanks again and wishing you the best of luck in the future.

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    1. Hi, Anita. It's not over yet. There will be updates now and again :)

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  69. I've been your fan from the inception of your story, and I cannot thank you enough for giving us your gift of brilliant writing. It was a gift I looked forward to every week. I'm looking forward to reading your book, Starr Fated! I wish you much deserved success with it. You and Jane Harvey-Berrick have done an amazing job continuing the FSOG saga. The U.K. has some extremely talented writers that I now consider my friends. Thank you! :) xo

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    1. Ellie: I have never been to the UK, but I'm wondering if there's something in the water over there??? I wholeheartedly agree with you----the UK has given the world 3 female writers who are simply extraordinary! It seems fitting that the screen writer and director of the FSOG movie are also from the UK.....I'm sure Starr Fated will be awesome and that I'll be obsessively reading it next month, as I have been with all of JHB's books for the past 3 weeks.....Happy summer reading! Cheryl

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    2. Well, what can I say? We Brits have to show the world we can hold our own I guess! Plenty of other nationality talented authors out there too.
      But it's nice to know we're all good friends:)

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  70. Thank you for sharing this wonderful story with us. You are the reason that I found Fanfiction. You are the reason that I read all the way through to the end. You are the reason that I wrote my own fanfic and I am now planning to publish. Your work is phenomenal and I plan to read your other entries and follow you other works as well...simply excellent!

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    1. Wow, what can I say? I'm glad you discovered the pleasure writing can bring. Pure escapism, that's what it can be, and it certainly has been for me at times when life is not so great, as happens with everyone from time to time.
      Keep writing :)

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  71. Thankyou for this wonderful and enlightening story of Christian and Ana I have looked forward to your Chapters each and every week and I would like to say Thankyou from the bottom of my heart and I wish you every success in the future and I am also looking forward to your book when it comes out :)

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    1. Thanks - it's been a fun journey, hasn't it?

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  72. This was the best FF that I have ever read. Congratulations, you just hit on the target with the POV of Christian. I will be waiting for your book, you are such a great writer.

    Kat

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    1. Thanks, Kat. It's been a pleasure to write the story, even if I have sweated blood over it at times!

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  73. I know you had "major" things happen in your life during this blog, like the loss of a relative, but was there something else? You sounds as though things were "tough" in your personal life as you opened the world to your blog and worked so hard on it every week. You know you can tell us. We are all women with similar issues, maybe some younger than others, but still on the same page. And I know your "engineering" husband probably things your wacko for doing this, but the rest of us love you!

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    1. We all have ups and downs in our lives don't we? Elderly relatives with all the associated health issues including dementia bring all sorts of challenges that have to be faced, however unpleasant. Escaping for a while by being immersed in writing helps to retain some sanity at times!

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  74. I just want to say THANK YOU for creating a story that justified the character of Christian Grey. I had to admit that your story was the fanfiction I only read about the trilogy. The way you analyzed everything was amazing! It had been a joy to read each chapter and anticipate the next. More power to you and I look forward to your future works!

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    1. Thanks :) It's kept my mind active anyhow :)

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  75. Standing ovation right here!!!! 3 Books from CPOV completed! Over 4 millions hits om your page, your own book almost published... what else can I say :).... the journey has been amazing and I plan to keep tags on you because you are one of my favourites writers :)

    This chapter was a real proof that you are incredibly great at this because in the book this was so vague, too much bits, scattered along the reminiscences of Ana and I feel that there were too many loose ends and you filled this completely

    I loved all the intakes of Christian along the pregnancy, this experience is really a life changer and seeing CG embrace all of this was amazing. You were so SPOT ON in the birth part, with the possible delivery complication that we never got to found out about in the book. The visit to the cementery got my eyes a little bit teary, the fact that CG will always be this lovable control freak wich I will never get enough of :)

    It has been amazing the way you owned Christian thoughts and I'm honored to have got to know your job.

    I'll be looking forward for more updates here, at grace's blog and of course I'm alredy and complitily dying to have Starr Fated in my hands to begin a new journey with you.... I have no words that could be enough to thank you so I woul quote Gustavo Cerati (the band leader of Soda Stereo) would said at the end of his show.... "Gracias Totales" :)

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    1. Mariela - It wouldn't be the same if I put the effort into writing and no one was interested in reading it, so my thanks are returned to you and all the other loyal readers who've jumped on board this experience.

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  76. I loved this Blog and like the books am sad to see it end. Have you thought about writing about Kate and Elliot? that would be an interesting story.

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    1. I'm glad you've enjoyed reding my blog. As for writing about Kate and Elliot - never say never, but I never really warmed to Kate. Elliot always came across as a nice guy though imho:)

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  77. Thank you so much for writing this blog for us and for yourself as well. I too, just like every other one of your readers cannot get Christian Grey out of my heart and mind. One year ago I was so happy to discover your blog because after reading the books for the fourth time, I was left wanting more. I felt,"Now what?" I would love to know what Christian is thinking! Then, boom, I find Fifty Shades Continued. Reading a Friday posting has been a great ride and a constant part of my life. I loved this chapter you just wrote. It was so moving. The pics were beautiful. I wish you nothing but the best in your personal life and future endeavors. I will continue to follow you through the other links and follow your professional journey also. I hope you consider me a friend as I do you. Love and best wishes, Carolxxoo

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    1. Hi Carol. Better late than never, I don't know how I missed this post first time round, so apologies. One of the best things about writing for my blog has been all the great friends I've made across the world, and I certainly count you amongst them.
      Thank you for being such a loyal supporter and reader of my work :)

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  78. Congratulations, Gill. It has been quite a ride. And thanks to this blog, I got to make a new friend. Take care and good luck with the new book. jx

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    1. Hi Jane. It most certainly has been quite some ride. Thanks for all your support along the way, and I'm really glad we've become friends - here's to our next girlie lunch date :)

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  79. Like after I finished reading ELJ's Fifty shades, this wonderful ending of yours made me cry once more.Kudos!Please have a PDF file of this.please please please. thanks for this awesome journey with christian grey.

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    1. I am working on a PDF version, but like all things, it's not quite as simple as I first thought. I'll get there though :)

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  80. I want to thank you for every amazing chapter. I can't believe that the story is over now. I will read it again and again! Your writing made my bad days brighter.
    XOX from Germany
    Petra

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    1. Hi Petra in Germany. That's what writing and reading should be all about - brightening your day even if it's only for a few minutes, so I'm very happy if reading my blog has achieved that for you.

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  81. I just finished reading the end of this story, and I can just hug you right now, a friend of mine told me that women deep inside surely liked abusive men, and he could not understand our obsession with a character who entirely denigrated the women and I could only reply that Christian was not that man that he described, and his fascinating personality just represented what we wanted to find into a man, who clearly doesn't exist,I wish you the best ♥.Hugs from Honduras.(Please forgive my broken English)

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    1. Thanks Aracely - and your English is just fine:)
      I think we've all enjoyed seeing Christian develop and change because of the love he found with Ana.That's part of what makes ELJ's story so addictive I think.

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  82. What a wonderful job. Your talent knows no limit. It was an amazing journey to travel through Christian's mind and to share is life with Ana and finally his child. The way was long, but it was so worse the while.
    I hope the best od success for your coming book. I will read with a lot of pleasure any extending scene of FSoG from your others POV. Take care of you.

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    1. Thanks Evelyne. It's been good to hear from you along the way.

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  83. Wow, I got goose bumps reading this final chapter. Thank you a million times over and I enjoyed every bit of this journey. I have been following since the first couple of chapters and got all of my friends hooked. We can't wait for your new book to come out. Thanks again, and much luck on your new book, you definitely got one sale here! :)

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    1. Hi Brooke. You're another one that's been with me since the beginning, so thanks for being there :)

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  84. Have you ever thought about writing POV Taylor? I know I already have another version, which was not written by you, the more I believe only you have the sensitivity to write about this man's POV, which is also amazing. Please think about it!!!
    Kisses. Paty

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    1. Hi Paty. I don't think I could better Jane's Taylor to be honest :)

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  85. I've never ever commented on anything but I just have to let you know how much I thoroughly enjoyed this blog. CPOV was so much fun to read and made me fall in love with this romantic story all over again. I just have one question though- Can you please give me the cure for getting over this story? I can't leave it alone. Sooooooo addictive!

    Good luck with your book. I look forward to reading it and maybe it will help with my FSOG addiction :-)

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    1. Ah, but do you really want to be cured of your addiction? It's so much fun!

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  86. just finished but I like how u lift it open for the to write more and I really hope that u do:) cant wait 2 read your book.
    just starting to read greys mom blog.
    your so good please keep going?

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    1. Hi Roisin. It's always good to leave the door slightly open isn't it?

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  87. wow! read it all in a day. you're an amazing writer. it almost felt like they were el james' words. thank you. pls continue ana and christian's story.

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  88. WOW! I'm so sad this is finally over, but what a ride it's been. I would be happy to help with producing a PDF copy, I already have it in word (which I convert to mobi to read on my kindle) so I'm sure there wouldn't be much trouble making a PDF for you, I'd just need to get the pics and put them in. Let me know. You can email me at xxxkittymasenxxx@y7mail.com

    Congratulations on a great (and well written) story. You had me sucked in right from the get go.

    xoxox

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    1. Thanks for the PDF help offer. I initially thought I could produce a PDF of the whole blog in one go, but it's too big for the sites I looked at and started getting complicated. So I'm taking the opportunity of editing each chapter and then adding them to a master copy which will be converted to a PDF when I'm done. Trouble is there are 64 chapters to work through, so it'll take a little while. But when I'm ready, I might check back with you for some help :)

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  89. I really love Christian's POV. It is as gooD as, if not better at times than FSOG. I hate for this to enD. Cannot wait for upDates & your book to come out. GooD Luck in all you Do. The enjoyment I got from reaDing you story just continueD my obsession. But oh well, something has to consume us. Thank you very much for the great riDe.

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    1. Thanks, Carol. I'm glad you've enjoyed reading my blog.

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  90. Thank you. that's all i can say. i really feel emotional right now. Thank you really. Keep up the Good work!

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  91. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!! Another awesome chapter, I'm sad it's over, but you have done an amazing job giving Christian's POV! Now I intend to go back and read it all again from the beginning! Also, I can't wait to read your novel! Again, thank you so much for all your hard work on bringing us this version of the trilogy!!!

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    1. Thanks, Cathy. It's always good to get positive feedback.

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  92. Oh Wow!! What an ending, tears and smiles, i have enjoyed reading every chapter immensely , you are so talented, I hope your new book does really well and look forward to reading it, Thanks again for sharing Christians side of the story & best wishes to you for the future xx

    Kath

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    1. Hi Kat - I'm glad you enjoyed the final chapter - I shed a few tears writing it too!

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  93. Wow, so amazing. Crying like a baby. I wanted to put this off for as long as I could. So sad it's over. But again, you blew my mind. It was amazing and so emotional, you capture everything beautifully. SO happy got to read more about the birth, her pregnancy. All things we missed. It was amazing G. Cannot wait for your book, so proud of you! And thank you for this, I've been here since chapter 1 and can't wait to be here for whatever else you do <3

    Thank you again.

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    1. Hi Sam. Thanks for being there right from the beginning and always being such a loyal and supportive friend. Looking forward to seeing you on the next stage of the journey :)

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  94. you should also investigate on epub-ing! having an epub or ebook copy of this would be fantastic :)

    youre amazing. thi, what youve made is amazing. i'm so glad i stumbled upon it.
    thank you so much for the wonderful journey,

    cant wait for your starr fated!

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Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment. Be sure I read each and every one, even if I don't always reply individually.