Chapter 53 - Viva Las Vegas

“No, Elliot, absolutely not,” I insist, as we sit having lunch together at my club. 

I’ve asked my brother to be best man at my wedding, so when he rang first thing this morning to ask if we could urgently meet up to discuss some vital arrangements, I assumed he wanted some clarification regarding his responsibilities for the wedding, and rearranged my schedule to fit in lunch with him. 

I’m horrified to discover his agenda this lunchtime consists solely of organizing some sleazy bachelor party for me.

“Oh come on, Christian. This really is the one time you should relax and let yourself go – it’s your last chance to have some legit sexy fun before the little lady gets to clamp the handcuffs on you,” Elliot tries to cajole me, not realizing the irony of the words he’s chosen.

“You’ve got all these lost years to make up for, so a bachelor party weekend in Las Vegas is an absolute must, because let me tell you, they don’t call it Sin City for nothing. 

I’ve already been busy getting a group together, and I thought we could fly down to Vegas in your private jet. Ethan’s up for it, as is your boat guy Mac and Claude as well, and I’m sure we could twist Taylor’s arm to join in. 

I’ve got a contact who I guarantee can arrange the hottest strippers and pole dancers for us, and we could take in a few card games, throw a few dice, you know the kind of thing.  

"I’ll make sure we have plenty of booze on hand to loosen you up, and maybe even some weed to really relax you. Just leave me to take care of everything, so all you’ll have to do is sit back and have a great time. 

One thing I can tell you from experience is that handing out lots of generous tips to the lap dancers always ensures you get a very personal service, if you catch my drift, which will certainly be no problem for a gazillionaire like you. 

Oh, and in case you don’t already know, the rule is ‘what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas’ so you don’t have to worry about anything getting back.”

There’s a gleam of excitement in his eyes and he’s getting quite animated as he tells me his plans. But I have to burst his bubble.

“Elliot, you’re not listening to me. You might be literally drooling at the thought of a trip to Vegas, but I most certainly am not. And in any case, I can’t possibly spare a whole weekend away. I’ve got far too much that needs organizing before the wedding and our honeymoon.”

I truly can’t think of anything worse than a Vegas bachelor party. I’d rather stick hot needles in my eyes. Besides, I really don’t want to be away from Ana for a whole weekend.

“Don’t be such a spoilsport, Christian. Let your staff handle all that shit, that’s what you employ them for isn’t it? As your best man, it’s my duty to organize a truly awesome bachelor party for you, so you can’t turn me down.”

I sigh in resignation. I know only too well what Elliot is like, and that he is not going to give up on this. I decide damage limitation is the best option.

“I guess I can free up one evening, so we could have a nice dinner together here in Seattle instead. I’d like that,” I suggest.

“Oh man! You are so fucking boring. Are you sure you wouldn’t rather go to Vegas? Please? It would be so much fun,” Elliot tries pleading in his most endearing way, as he tips his head to one side and grins at me.

“Fun for whom, Elliot? You know I hate all that kind of thing. I appreciate the thought, I really do, but please, let’s just do something civilized here in Seattle. And when I get back from my honeymoon, maybe we could go hiking together - we haven’t done that for a while, have we?” I offer this olive branch, as I really don’t want to fall out with him.

“I just knew you were going to say something like that, but I had to give it my best shot, didn’t I?” he sighs.  “You know, you really need to live more dangerously and try pushing your limits. You’re always so fucking controlled all the time, but you should let go, and try out some new experiences. There’s a whole kinky world of sexy fun out there that you ought to at least try, because once you’re married to your sweet little Anastasia, I know you’ll stay true to her. I don’t want you to miss out or have any regrets, so I was just trying to offer you one last chance before it was too late.”

If he only knew the truth about me and kinky fun, but thank fuck he doesn’t. At least it proves Kate kept her word about not telling him about the Dom/sub paperwork she came across in my jacket pocket in Ana’s old room.

“Trust me, Elliot, I'm not missing out on anything by marrying Anastasia, and I will never have any regrets on that score. I’ll check my schedule and let you know what evening will work for us to spend an evening together before the wedding,” I promise.

“Okay. I guess I'm going to have to live with that. I just hope Kate’s having better luck arranging Ana’s bachelorette party,” he sighs.

“Bachelorette party?”

“Yeah, Kate’s maid of honor as you know, so she’s planning to have lunch with Ana today to discuss all the arrangements,” he informs me.

“What bachelorette party? What arrangements? How come I don’t know anything about this?” I can feel my temper rising. 

I’ve been busy making all kinds of vital arrangements regarding Ana’s security and yet I’m being kept out of the loop about something like this? I didn’t even know she was having lunch with Kate today.

“Oh, Ana doesn't know anything about it, or at least she won’t have done until this morning. Kate and I decided we’d tackle you both today to get something sorted as there’s so little time. What’s the big rush about getting married anyhow? Ana’s not…?”

“No, of course she’s not,” I scowl at him. As if he needs to ask, the number of times I've lectured him in the past about not taking risks.

 “What is Kate proposing for this supposed bachelorette party for Ana?”

“Well, she’s pretty keen on a Vegas party for the ladies too. Apparently there are whole packages you can book that include male strippers for bachelorette parties. Kate mentioned a film I should watch - Magic Mike, I think it was, because it has lots of guys stripping off for bachelorette parties.  So something like that I guess.”

“No! No way is Ana going to Vegas to get drunk and ogle naked men or have them pawing her!”

Elliot stares at me, as I’ve practically yelled at him.

“Easy there bro, it’s just a bit of harmless fun. Scared of a bit of competition in the male eye candy department, are we?”

“No, it’s not that. It’s just Ana is so naïve and trusting. She’ll be put at far too much risk.”

“Oh Christian, you worry too much. She’ll be fine, and besides, she’ll have Kate with her to look after her.”

“Fat lot of good she’ll be,” I scoff. “Don’t you remember the night we went to find Ana at that student bar in Portland? Kate was with Ana then, but it didn’t stop her getting so drunk she couldn’t fight off unwelcome advances. If I hadn't turned up when I did…”

“But everything turned out fine in the end, didn’t it? You got your girl, and I got mine. We both got lucky.”

“I just don’t want anyone else having the opportunity to get lucky with Anastasia ever again,” I tell my brother.

There is no way I’m allowing Ana to go to any kind of bachelorette party in Vegas or anywhere else come to that, and I'm furious that Kate has gone ahead and initiated all this without even thinking to consult me, not giving the slightest thought about the risk to Ana’s safety.

I know Elliot seems pretty keen on Kate, but I’m finding I really don’t like these Kavanagh women at all. Diane - the mother - is going out of her way to keep the wedding dress design secret from me. 

Despite his best attempts, even Barney couldn’t hack into her computers to gain access to her files, which means her systems are impressively encrypted and secure. I suppose at least it means no one else will be able to access them either to get a sneaky preview of her design for Ana’s wedding dress. 

The media have been going fucking nuts since word got out about our wedding, with the paparazzi hanging about wherever we go, trying to get a shot of us that they can then sell to the highest bidder. 

So that’s another reason to avoid a Vegas trip for either of us. Christ knows what kind of pictures they’d get.

“Well, I guess it’s up to Ana to decide what she wants to do, isn’t it?” Elliot shrugs, as he finishes off his lunch. 

I just coolly smile back at him. Oh no it fucking isn’t. But there is no point in discussing this further with my brother. I will be taking it up with Ana first chance I get.

“So, what’s gone down between Mom and Elena? I thought they were meant to be good friends, but Mom practically turned puce the other day, then ran out of the room when I mentioned about her coming to your wedding, and Dad gave me one of his glares as if I’d said something really stupid. 
Then Mia hissed something about how could I be so insensitive when she’d been such a bitch. So I asked Kate, and she just said she always thought Elena was a nasty snob, before she started going on about how she’s nothing better than a social climber who married well, so who is she to talk when she’s basically just a beautician. I don’t get it. What have I missed? Why am I out of the loop here, why has everyone turned on Elena?”

Shit. This is awkward, so I decide the best policy is to tell him the truth – just not the whole truth. I tell him the abridged and sanitized version the rest of the family has been given.

“I guess you must have been too busy getting drunk as usual, for you not to have heard how at my birthday party Elena snubbed Ana and accused her of only being after me for my money. Naturally, Mom was furious, and the family is closing ranks to freeze Elena out. So now you see why she and Mom are not exactly the best of friends anymore.”

“Whoa! Elena actually said that about Ana to Mom?”

“No, she said it to Ana actually. So Ana threw her drink in Elena’s face,” I chuckle, finally seeing a fragment of humor in the situation, and actually finding it good to confide in my brother, as he’s about the only person I can talk to about this, apart from Ana.

“No way! How did I not know about any of this! Ana’s quite the feisty little thing under that deceptively quiet exterior isn’t she? You’d better watch out there, bro. How the fuck did I miss all this drama?” Elliot’s face is a picture of incredulity.

“Mom wanted it kept quiet, she didn’t want to spoil the party. So, under the circumstances, I think it’ll probably be wise if you don’t mention Elena’s name in front of Mom again.”

“No, right, I won’t. But what a bitch! To say that about Ana, when you couldn’t meet a nicer, sweeter, more honest girl. Oh, and of course that explains why you kicked off about the prenup with Dad, because it hit a sensitive spot after what Elena said to Ana. I totally get that now,” Elliot works it out. 

He’s really not such a dense guy when you get down to it, and the way he didn’t hesitate for even a nanosecond about supporting Ana makes me glad I’ve got him for a brother. So I confide in him how I feel about Dad, because I know he will understand, having been on the receiving end of his disapproval more than a few times himself over the years.

“I think Dad’s being really insensitive. He’s so used to being the efficient professional lawyer, but he didn’t stop to think how suggesting a prenup would make Ana feel. I fucking hate seeing her so upset and cut up, thinking Dad sees her in the same way as Elena, when she is one of the least materialistic people I’ve ever known,” I explain.

“Yeah, your little Ana really isn’t bothered about all that, is she? Well, I think she’s perfect for you, and I know she’s going to make you very happy, and it’s about fucking time you learned to be happy after all you went through before Mom and Dad adopted you. I know we’ve never talked about it, so I don’t know any of the details, but I’ve always thought that anyone who had screaming night terrors night after night the way you did in those early years must have been through pure hell,” he says quietly.

“Sorry about that. Can’t have been easy for you tolerating an annoying little shit like me,” I joke, to try and lighten the mood, not wanting to talk about all that crap. “And then they go and dump a brat like Mia on you as well.”

“Yeah, I know. Parents eh?” Elliot’s picked up that, as usual, I don’t want to revisit that period in my life, so he quickly shifts the topic of conversation. “I’ve been out to give your new house a quick survey, and the good news is it’s basically sound. Great location, I have to say. So, once you and Ana have had a chance to talk through what you have in mind with Gia, I don’t foresee any major problems with re-modeling the existing house and making it more eco friendly.”

So we’re back on safe territory once more, after venturing uncomfortably close to too much personal shit.  

Facts and figures. Buildings. But it’s good to know I can always count on my brother Elliot’s unswerving loyal support, however crazy and inappropriate his stupid ideas about a bachelor party for me are.

~~~

“Are you going to tell me all about these plans of Kate’s for a bachelorette party in Las Vegas for you?”

Taylor is driving me back to Grey House after lunch, and I've taken the opportunity to quickly call Ana’s cell, knowing I’ll be heading straight into a meeting when I get back.  I'm not in the best of moods, not at all happy about any of this, and am determined to nip any plans they may have been making in the bud.

“Hello, Christian. Nice to hear from you. Excuse me, but what are you talking about? What party?”

“You heard me. A Sin City bachelorette party. You just had lunch with Kate to discuss it.”

“No, I didn’t, actually. Kate called about having lunch today, but I had a Commissioning Editors meeting I couldn’t put off, so I'm seeing her tomorrow instead. Is that what she wanted? And how come you know about it before I do?”

“I just had lunch with Elliot. He and Kate have been hatching plans for us it seems. Bachelor and bachelorette parties. In Vegas. Can you think of anything worse? At least now you’re forewarned in preparation for turning her down,” I smile, feeling a bit happier as nothing has been set in motion yet.

“Why would I want to do that, Christian?” Ana queries.

“Because you won’t be going to any bachelorette party, of course.”

“You already decided that for me, have you?”

“Don’t be stupid Ana. It wouldn’t be appropriate for you to attend, surely you can see that.”

“Why? Because it might be fun? Because I might actually enjoy myself?”

“Ana, this is not up for discussion. You will not be going to any kind of a bachelorette party. It’s far too risky.”

“You’re right, Christian. I agree, this topic is not up for discussion.”

“Ana… don’t forget we’ve got the appointment with Reverend Walsh straight after work tonight,” I try to remind her, but it’s too late. She’s hung up.

I see Taylor glancing at me in the rear view mirror, maybe half expecting me to order him to drive me over to the SIP offices to have this out with Ana. 

I’m tempted, but decide to wait until later, as this meeting I’m about to attend concerning the shipyard deal in Korea is pretty important. 

I’ve told Ana there will be no bachelorette party, so that’s an end to the matter as far as I'm concerned.

~~~

We’re sitting in Reverend Walsh’s small office, enduring a long lecture from him on the subject of what a huge commitment marriage is. 

I’m tolerating this because I get it – he doesn’t really know us, and I respect the fact that he’s taking his responsibilities seriously, and I know he's genuine because he came up clean in all the in depth background checks Welch ran. 

It’s his job to make sure we aren’t rushing into this just because Ana wants to wear some fancy wedding dress, or because we’ve made some lucrative deal to sell our story to one of the glossy magazines. 

But he does rather labor the point, especially when he learns that we’ve only known each other for a short time.  

Unfortunately, I was on my cell practically the whole time Taylor was driving us over here straight from work, dealing with critical work issues. Aside from trying to set up the shipyard deal, there are also problems with transporting the latest food shipments out to the Sudan. 

So we didn’t have a chance to talk before our appointment with the minister, and Ana has been ominously quiet so far while he’s been talking.

“I’ve even had some couples rejecting the whole concept of ‘Till death do us part’. Instead, they want to opt for preemptive phrases such as ‘for as long as our love shall last,’ ‘until our time together is over,’ and ‘for as long as our marriage shall serve the greatest good’. The rationale offered is ‘Don’t make a promise you can’t keep’. But when a husband and wife do not honor marriage for what God intends it to be – a lifelong union – they lay the foundation for marital failure. When marriage is not viewed as ‘till death do us part’ it becomes increasingly easy to end it rather than working  at it to solve the problem with love. Vows must not be lightly made nor conveniently broken.”

I agree with his sentiments, and it seems he is a traditionalist, a man after my own heart. So I’m feeling pretty confident he’s going to support my views about having Ana say she will obey me.

“Reverend, I can assure you I wholeheartedly support your views with regard to taking our wedding vows seriously. And I don’t hold with messing around with words that have served very well for hundreds of years,” I say, as I smile and take Ana’s hand in mine. 
“That’s why my preference is for us to use the original, unaltered 1662 prayer book version of the vows.”

“Really? That is unusual these days. By unaltered, I take it you mean that you wish Anastasia to promise to obey you?”

“That’s correct, Reverend.”

“And is that also your wish, Anastasia, to include the word ‘obey’ in your vows?” he turns to look at her, as she frowns and withdraws her hand from mine.

“No, it isn’t, actually, Reverend. I think using that term is a throwback to the dark ages, when a wife was treated merely as her husband’s possession. That’s no longer the case today – or at least it shouldn’t be. It's not as if we live in the times of Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett, is it? I look on marriage as an equal partnership between two people who love and respect each other, where everything is openly discussed and agreed, without one partner being considered superior to the other and having the right to order the other around, or tell them what they can or can’t do. So I don’t see why a wife should have to promise to obey her husband, and I will not be saying that word.”

She turns her steely blue gaze on me, as she defiantly tilts her chin up in the air, and squares her shoulders, ready to do battle.

“Anastasia! I thought we’d already clarified this issue,” I glare at her. I’m furious with her defiant attitude. All I'm trying to do is my duty as her husband – to take care of her and look after her. Why is she being so difficult by willfully choosing to misconstrue my intentions, trying to imply that I'm still trying to treat her as a submissive?

“You clarified your position. Now I'm clarifying mine,” she states firmly.

“It’s for the best, Ana. I need to be able to look after you and protect you. Please, you have to trust me on this.” I meet her steely gaze with my own, determined I’m not going to back down. I have to make a stand, because I cannot contemplate our future life without the necessary structure in place to protect her. 

Anastasia is the most precious thing in my life. I cannot take risks in any way with her safety. I cannot live that way. I have to be allowed to protect her in any way I see fit.

“Well, back at you, Grey. You’re just going to have to learn to trust me to look after myself.” But you’re just an innocent little girl. You have no idea what could happen to you. And I want you to stay as innocent about all the ugliness in the world as possible.

Reverend Walsh clears his throat, and starts speaking to try and break the impasse between us.

“If I may just interject here, before things get too heated? The origins of the word obey can be traced back to the Latin dictionary and means ‘to listen deeply’, while the Oxford dictionary defines it as to ‘do what one is told’. But what does it really mean when included in the marriage vows? The origin of the wedding vows used in Anglican services can be traced back to the Middle Ages to the Book of Common Prayer, which was approved by Henry VIII. Henry's approval must raise some doubt about the integrity of the marriage vows as more than anyone in history he is infamous for flouting his vows. Thankfully, today a beheading is not the result of a wife's disobedience.”

He tries smiling at us with his little joke, but neither of us laughs, so he continues.

“Biblical references to the implications of marriage vows are also ambiguous. Paul, in a letter to the church in Ephesus, directed that it was necessary for ‘wives to submit to their husbands as to the Lord’. But while this sounds very much like typical male domination, he also instructed everyone, male and female to ‘submit to one another’, which suggests a distinctly modern view of an equal partnership. 
The problem is that today we equate obedience with power and domination. But in the Bible submission or obedience is more about outlooks than individual rights. It is a desire to be unselfish and not to demand our own way and does not imply that once married a woman becomes a second-class citizen who relinquishes all of her rights. Equally, it certainly does not give a husband the right to demand that whatever he says goes. Rather it suggests a desire to accept the other's wishes not out of subjection but willingly, because of love.”

“There, you see, Ana? That’s exactly what I’ve been trying to explain to you.” I think the minister has just proved my point very nicely. So surely now Ana will agree to my wishes?

“Okay Christian, so why aren't you planning to use that word in your vows? Why is it only me who has to promise to obey?”

“Now you’re being ridiculous! In our marriage we will have different roles to play, so that requires different commitments from each of us. As your husband, it will be my duty to shield and protect you, and as I keep explaining, in order for me to do that, you have to promise to comply with whatever I need you to do.”

“I disagree. Whatever the issue, you should always talk things through with me to explain things, and I will then make up my own mind about the appropriate response. Such as whether or not I want to party in Vegas with Kate,” she hisses.

“Oh, so that’s what all this is about, is it?” I roll my eyes. Fucking Kate Kavanagh, interfering and stirring things up between us again.

Reverend Walsh clears his throat again.

 “It seems to me that the two of you need to go away to discuss this matter further. If you haven’t yet managed to come to any sort of an agreement on the basic issue of your wedding vows, I would suggest that possibly you aren’t as ready as you might think to make this kind of commitment. Why don’t you come and see me again next week, after you’ve both had a chance to reflect on matters and calmly discuss them?”

And so we leave, and I am so angry about her whole attitude I barely hold myself together as we make our way back out to where Taylor is waiting in the Audi for us, and I don’t trust myself to even talk to Ana on the ride back, as she sits there silently with her arms folded.

I head straight for my study as soon as we get back to Escala.

“I have to work. Tell Mrs. Jones to bring a tray of food to my study. Don’t wait up for me,” I tell Ana.

I’m still so mad with her that I  have to have some space on my own before I risk giving into the compelling urge I feel building within me to try and force Ana to comply with my wishes. 

I know that would be totally the wrong way to handle this. So I decide maybe the best thing is to give her some time on her own to reflect and realize how important this issue is to me.

~~~

“Mr. Grey, there’s a Mr. Dan McAllister waiting downstairs and he’s insisting he has to see you. He’s been told repeatedly you’re not available, but apparently he just keeps asking for you to be told he’s here, that he’ll just wait until you are free however long it takes, and he’s refusing to leave the building. He’s been there all morning already, apparently. Do you want security called to remove him?” Andrea asks me.

“McAllister? For fuck’s sake, why wasn’t I told about this sooner? Put back my next meeting with Johnson from accounts until this afternoon, and tell them to send McAllister straight up,” I bark at Andrea.

I’ve been in a shitty mood with everyone for the last two days – even shittier than my usual short tempered self. 

Ana and I still aren’t speaking. She’s still sulking and hasn’t come to her senses about the vows. Each evening, I’ve been working in my study until well into the early hours, so by the time I get to bed, she’s asleep. 

She seems to be sleeping peacefully as I watch her, but I know she’s upset because she’s been talking in her sleep more than usual. Most of what she says is incomprehensible, but I’ve caught a few words.

‘Obey… one word …. won’t …. can’t… Christian … obey … no …equal …talk…’

Why does she have to fight me this way? Why is she so stubborn? 

Why are you, Grey? Two stubborn fools? 

And Kate refused to discuss this ridiculous idea of hers about taking Ana to Vegas when I rang her, to try and explain the security risks she’d be exposing my fiancée to. She said it was up to Ana, and that I should butt out and mind my own business! Fucking nerve of the woman!

I’ve been for a run with Taylor very early both mornings, just as I always used to, followed by a work out in the gym, before showering and heading straight to the office for my prearranged breakfast meetings. 

So Ana and I have barely seen each other, much less spoken.

How long she can keep this up for I don’t know, but I really miss her, and I'm feeling pretty miserable at a time when I thought we’d be so happy.

I look up as McAllister strolls in, baseball cap in hand, dressed in plaid shirt and jeans, just as he was the day he gave us the lift back to Seattle in his truck. He whistles as he looks round my large office with its impressive view.

“Mr. McAllister. I've only just been informed of your presence, so I apologize that you were kept waiting,” I say, as we shake hands.  “It’s good to see you again. Please take a seat.”

“I told you before, call me Dan. No need to apologize, I can see you must be a real busy guy. Quite some set up you’ve got yourself here, Mr. Grey. Very impressive,” he replies, as he sits himself opposite me at my desk.

“Thank you, Dan. And please, it’s Christian. So what brings you here to see me today?”

“Well, I wanted to drop by to say thank you for everything you’ve been doing lately to help me and Betty. I wouldn't usually accept help from strangers, I don’t like being in anyone’s debt, but that Ros sure is one persuasive lady. So when she said I might be able to help you out in return, I thought it was about time I came to see you to find out how I can repay you.”

I vaguely remember Ros mentioning something about coercing him to accept our assistance, but for the life of me I can’t quite remember what it was.

“And how is your wife?” I ask.

“She’s pretty good, as it happens. Booked in to have her procedure next week.  That Dr. Archer at Harborview is a real nice guy, and he said not to worry about Betty’s bill because it was being taken care of when I asked about it. I guess that would probably be something to do with you?”

He stares hard at me, and I know there is no point in lying to him.

“My mother, actually. She’s a doctor, Dr. Archer’s an old friend, and I think he owes her a favor.”

“I see. So I’m guessing maybe your father is this Mr. Grey, the lawyer who’s scaring the pants off all the loan sharks because they were threatening me with all sorts of extra charges when my loans suddenly all got paid off?”

“Yes, that’s my dad. He has a particular interest in that type of unlawful practice, so he jumped at the chance to take them on.”

“And the guys who turned up in a Grey Construction pickup truck to fix our roof?”

“They’d be from my brother Elliot’s company.”

“And the offer of free meals delivered to my door by Grey Catering when Betty goes into hospital?”

“My sister Mia is just setting up her own business, so I thought maybe you wouldn’t mind being a guinea pig for her?”

“And then, suddenly out of the blue after all these years, the Veterans Association contacted us offering all kinds of support if we needed it following the loss of our son. Something about our name being forwarded to them by a Mr. Taylor? Let me guess, another family member of yours?”

“Not exactly, but he is in my employ.”

“I guessed as much. Quite some backup you’ve got going on here, Christian.”

“Everyone was extremely grateful for the way you helped Ros and me out when we needed it the most. They're just helping repay the debt we feel we owe you.”

“Well, I don’t see as I did anything out of the ordinary, but I can’t deny it’s good to see a close family like yours. And I bet they all pull together if someone gets on the wrong side of any of you, don’t they?” He grins and winks at me.

“You could say that,” I smile back wryly, thinking of Elena and the way she’s being frozen out.  

“Then on top of all that, Ros tells me my new truck, complete with McAllister livery,  has been ordered, and as soon as it’s ready, she’ll go through the business plan she’s drawn up for me.”

“That’s correct.”

“So my question today, Christian, is what do you get out of all this? When all these things connected to you started happening, I did a bit of reading up, so I’ve figured out that despite being so young, you are the main man behind all this. It’s obvious you’re very astute, and the investment you’re putting into McAllister Trucking goes way beyond repaying a simple favor.  I might not have the best business brain in the world, but I'm not stupid. So, I repeat – what’s in it for you?”

I look at him for a moment, as I rub my chin in contemplation, before I start explaining.

“You’re right, Dan. I don’t believe in investing money in lost causes. A large part of my success is down to the fact that I have the ability to see clearly where problems lie within a business, and what it will take to fix them. I logically weigh up the cost of any investment required to fix these problems, against the probability of turning the business around to make it successful and turn a healthy profit.”

“That makes sense so far. But I’m still not sure where McAllister Trucking fits into all this.”

 “Dan, you know the trucking business inside out – that is your strength. But you are hopeless with the paperwork and administration side of things – that is undoubtedly your weakness, but one that Ros can easily fix for you once she’s organized a simple and easy business plan for you to follow. As for where you fit into things? Well, recently, we have been having problems with the trucking company we currently employ to ensure shipments of essential food supplies to third world companies reach our ships in time, meaning a lot of it is going to waste. So I need someone who knows all about trucking to solve this issue; someone I know I can trust. Ros and I think you could be that man. But until you have a suitable truck, we can’t make any definite plans. Therefore I saw it as a prudent investment to get a new truck ordered for you without delay.”

I’ve remembered now what it was Ros suggested to me. McAllister Trucking could actually prove to be really useful to us. Food shipments have to be transported for shipping within a tight time frame before they become expired - I refuse to supply anything that does not conform to the highest standards just because the people it is intended for happen to be extremely poor.

“I see. Now you’re talking my language. You’ve got my full attention, because that sounds real interesting,” he grins widely. 

I can see he still hasn’t been to the dentist yet, but I guess it’s only been a couple of weeks since the dreadful day I thought I was going to die in Charlie Tango. So much has happened since then.

“I thought it might. So you see, Dan, I think we could have a mutually beneficial arrangement. I get reliable transportation; you get a decent, regular income. A win/win situation, wouldn’t you say?”

“Sounds good to me. So as soon as I get my new truck, you’ll just let me know the details of these loads you need transported?”

“Yes, I’ve delegated this task to Ros, as you know her personally, and she will be in touch again shortly. She will keep me informed every step of the way.”

“Yes, of course I know you’re a very busy man, Christian, because I’ve been reading about how you’re getting married in a couple of weeks, aren’t you?”

“That’s correct,” I try to smile, although the way things are between Ana and me at the moment, it’s not looking too good.

“So, is this the young lady you were in such a hurry to get back to Seattle for?” he points at the photo I have on my desk, the one that was taken of us at the charity ball. “I can certainly see why. She sure is one pretty lady, and you’re a very lucky young man to be marrying her.”

“Yes, I am,” I agree.

“Well, I expect  there are all sorts of folk giving you all sorts of advice at the moment, son. But the one piece of advice I was given when I was about to get married that I've tried to live by, even when things get a bit rocky from time to time, is ‘Never let the sun go down on an argument’. I think it’s from the Bible, so I guess the words have stood the test of time. I’ve found it’s always best to get things sorted, don’t let them fester for days on end, because you never know what might happen. You wouldn’t ever want your last words to each other to be angry ones, would you?”

“Sounds like very sensible advice,” I agree, trying to put a brave face on things. 

Festering for days – that’s exactly what’s been happening between Ana and myself. Dan is right. We have to sort things out between us.

~~~

“Anastasia, we need to talk. We have to agree on the wording of our vows ahead of our next meeting with Reverend Walsh.”

I haven’t disappeared into my study this evening. I’m sat waiting in the kitchen when she comes in from work.

“That depends on what you want to talk about Christian. If all you want to do is continue to order me around so you can get your own way about the vows, then there is nothing for us to talk about. Unless your attitude has changed, there is little point in us having any kind of a discussion.”

So she is not going to make this easy. I take a deep breath to remain calm.

 “Why are you being so incalcitrant on this issue?”

“Why are you?”

“I'm responsible for your safety. That’s far too important an issue to ignore or leave to chance.”

“No, I am responsible for my safety. It’s my life, and it’s up to me to choose what risks I'm prepared to take.”

“So you don’t think I should have any say in the matter? Even though becoming my wife has a huge impact on how you will be living your life, because you will be at risk of being kidnapped and held to ransom.”

“Christian, you worry too much! The risks are tiny, and I have to be able to live as normal a life as possible. I want to still be able to have fun.”

“And of course you will, as long as you allow me to take all the necessary precautions. Then we can both relax and get on with our lives.”

“You mean have me shadowed twenty four hours a day, with not just one, but two great big shadows? How am I supposed to relax and pretend everything is normal?”

“You’ll soon get used to it and forget they’re even there,” I assure her. I always knew Ana would hate having a close protection detail, but it is essential.

“I hate the feeling they’ll be watching everything I do and no doubt reporting it all back to you,” she complains petulantly as she glares at me with her arms folded. 

“Well if you haven’t got anything to hide, I don’t see what the problem is.”

“That’s not the point, Christian! All your obsession with control manages to achieve is to make me feel like doing something bad on purpose just to prove I still can. Like you ordering me not to have a bachelorette party in Vegas. That just makes me really want to have one, when left to myself, I would probably have told Kate not to bother. And she’s furious with you too for trying to interfere, so naturally she’s encouraging me to go ahead with it. Don’t you see, you make me want to rebel when you try so hard to restrict me?”

“Now you are being really illogical and perverse. You’re acting like an immature teenager, wanting to do something dangerous just to prove a point.”

“And you’re acting just like my dad. Is that your new scene? Daddy Dominant and his little girl, just because I like sitting on your lap and being spanked sometimes? I’ve been reading up about all this shit, to try and understand you and see if it really is possible for someone with your needs to change.”

“No!  That’s not it at all. Look, I don’t deny that I still crave control, and I always will; it’s just part of my make up, but that’s as far as it goes. I don’t still want to be your Dominant, and I thought we’d sorted all this out. It’s not because of what Elena said to you, is it? Because I'm telling you she was wrong. I don’t need all that shit. But I do need to make sure that you are safe at all times. I can’t relax otherwise.”

“Maybe you need to talk to Dr. Flynn about this. Maybe he can suggest some relaxation techniques for you. You can’t expect to protect me every minute of every day. Life is full of risks, most of which are minuscule. You have to learn to live with them. Bottom line is I will not be promising to obey you. Deal with it.”

“But Ana…”

“I’ve a lot of work to catch up on, so I’ll be in the library. If you would be so kind as to ask Mrs. Jones to send a tray in there for me?”

And with that, she storms off in the direction of the library and closes the door firmly behind her.

~~~

“Mommy! Mommy!"

 Mommy is asleep on the floor. She has been asleep a long time. 

I brush her hair because she likes that. 

She doesn’t wake up. I shake her. Mommy! Mommy wake up! 

She lies still. She is so cold. I sleep beside Mommy. I think she is ill. I think there is something wrong with Mommy. 

The door crashes open. 

He’s here. He kicks me, and I hit my head on the floor. 

My head hurts. He calls someone and then he goes away again. He locks the door. 

I lay down beside Mommy. My head hurts. 

Now the lady policeman is here. No. No. No. Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me. I stay by Mommy. No. Stay away from me. The lady policeman has my blankie, and she grabs me. I scream. 

Mommy! Mommy! I want my Mommy! 

The words are gone. The words are gone. I can’t say the words. Mommy can’t hear me. I have no words. I have no words. I have no words. 

The words are gone.

“Christian! Christian!” I'm being woken. “I’m here. I’m here.”

I gradually wake from my nightmare, shaking and sweating as usual, although this nightmare was one of the worst I’ve had in a very long time because it felt so real.

Ana is leaning over me, her big blue eyes filled with concern and tears. Ana. My Ana. Thank God.

“You’re here,” I croak. I felt such emptiness, such intense loneliness, that it’s hard to rid myself of the fear I’ve just experienced.

“Of course I’m here,” she comforts me, as she hugs me tightly. It feels so good as I feel her warmth seeping into me.

“I had a dream…” I can barely whisper.

“I know. I'm here, I'm here,” she croons.

“Ana.” The relief I feel because she is here is overwhelming. She is my life, my light, my everything. She is my reason for existing. 

Why have we been fighting for so long? Why have I been so foolish as to risk losing her?

“Please let’s not fight,” I beg. I wrap my arms closely around her, as she entwines her legs in mine. We need to be as one. She feels it as much as I do, I know she does.

“Okay,” she whispers, as she plants sweet little kisses on my chest, where she has tucked her head under my chin.

“The vows. No obeying. I can do that. We’ll find a way.” Stupid, stupid words. I’ve risked losing everything over one stupid word. I might as well be that mute little boy again, if I let one obstinate word destroy everything I’ve found with Ana.

“Yes. We will. We’ll always find a way,” she whispers as I kiss her sweet skin and breathe in her wonderful calming scent.

And so we make sweet, sweet love, merging our bodies to prove  that we can find a way to merge our thoughts and wishes and promises just as successfully.

  

I don’t own any of the Fifty Shades Trilogy or the characters therein. They belong to E L James. I’m just borrowing them for fun and not for profit. Please refer to the Legal’s page for further details. This work is not to be copied or reproduced in any way without permission.