10 September 2012

Chapter 34 - Crazy, Overprotected Love



This weekend is not all plain sailing between Anastasia and me. We seem to go from north to south, from hot to cold in an instant. One minute I’m over the moon because, much to my surprise, she’s agreed to meet Claude, my personal trainer. The next, we’re arguing over her taking back the Audi and accepting the money for her old car, which infuriates me, because frankly I think it is very churlish of her to refuse my gift.

No matter; when she tears up the check I gave her for it, I just call Andrea and get her to set up a bank transfer of the funds straight into her bank account. Anastasia has to learn that in these matters I will always get my way, so it is pointless for her to defy me. And why is she so upset that I have her bank account details? Why the fuck wouldn’t I? They are so easily obtainable to virtually anyone that I don’t understand her problem.

And then, even as we’re arguing, there’s that magnetic draw between us, and suddenly we’re kissing passionately and the only thing that stops me from taking her again is a lack of condoms. I thought I’d brought more than an adequate supply with me, but it seems we just can’t get enough of each other. 

I won’t be making the same mistake again; next time I’ll bring a whole fucking box of the things with me, and then we  won’t get caught out by this overwhelming sexual thrall that always exists between us. We need to get her contraception sorted out. I make a mental note to contact Dr. Greene again, with a view to getting something more permanent and reliable sorted this time round.

~~~

We have our breakfast out, which Ana ridiculously insists on paying for. Doesn’t she get that I’m a billionaire, for Christ’s sake? Still, it’s a small concession that I reluctantly allow, as her gesture means that she’s finally accepted she has an extra twenty four thousand dollars in her account.

I really want her to have that money; I hate the thought of her being short of ready funds, when I can so easily provide for her. I've never met a woman so reluctant to accept gifts or money from me. Typical Ana - she’s very frustrating, but also very refreshing, and I suppose I have to respect her for it.

 Anastasia says she wants to get her hair cut, so I take her to Esclava, one of the beauty salons I own with Elena, which is just a couple of blocks away. She seems to think her hair is too long, even though I told her it looks lovely the way it is.
I love her hair this long, so no fucking way will she be having it cut short. So that’s why she won’t be going anywhere other than Esclava; it’s where my subs have always gone. Everyone at the salon has been supplied with precise and detailed instructions regarding all my preferences, and they all know better than to go against them - they would be fired immediately if they did so.

So I know that whatever Ana may instruct the stylist, she will not be having her hair cut short, or having the color altered in any way.  She will be persuaded, by whatever means necessary, into having her hair just lightly trimmed and shaped, because every hairdresser there understands that I like long hair, the longer the better. And with regard to her hair color, just a glossing and conditioning treatment is permissible. But knowing what an independent, stubborn and strong minded girl Anastasia can be, I keep up the pretence that she actually has a choice in the matter.

As we walk into the salon, I'm pleased to see it’s Greta on reception. She knows who I am, and I realize she’s assuming I’ve brought Ana here for a full wax, when she asks if this is ‘the usual’.

I can see by Ana’s face she’s quickly worked out this place is where I’ve brought all my previous subs for their maintenance regime to comply with my rules. She doesn’t seem very happy about it, either. Shit.

“Miss Steele will tell you what she wants.” I inform Greta, as I glance at Ana nervously.  Her face is like thunder. Shit.

“Why here?”

“I own this place and three more like it.”

This surprises her, so I explain it’s just a sideline for me, not mentioning Elena’s role in all this, as I'm pretty sure that won’t go down well with Ana. I’ve worked that much out anyway. I’m slowly learning that this area is a minefield with her, so no point in rocking the already unsteady boat.

I tell her about all the things she can have done here, massages, facials and so on, all on the house. Women like that kind of thing, don’t they?  She asks about waxing, and I eagerly confirm she could have that done here if she wanted.
Mmm, a full Brazilian wax. Every intimate part of Anastasia bare, exposed and easily accessible. 

My subs have always, without exception, been fully denuded. I do like Ana’s natural and unspoiled look, because it’s kind of virginal and makes a change from what I'm used to, but I can’t deny that I’d really like her to get waxed at some point. I think she’d like it once she got used to it, because the exposure increases sensitivity, leading to enhanced sexual pleasure for the woman.

But by the shocked and embarrassed look on Ana’s face right now, she won’t be getting it done any time soon. Never mind, that will be a pleasure to look forward to sometime in the future perhaps, if I’m lucky and get my way. You usually do, Grey, but you can’t count on anything with Ana.

“I’d like a haircut, please,” Ana informs Greta, blushing profusely, I'm guessing, at the thought of such an intimate waxing procedure being performed on her.

I’m happy when it turns out that Franco will be free in five minutes. I know Franco is gay, so I have no jealousy issues regarding him getting into close proximity with Ana. He’s a very experienced stylist who has worked at the salon since it opened, so he knows my preferences very well, and understands completely what I will be expecting of him. I feel myself relaxing - until I glance up and see a familiar face at the back of the salon. Shit.




What the fuck is Elena doing here? She never normally works here, because she manages the Bravern branch. I’ve been avoiding her and dodging her calls, so no doubt she’s going to be pissed with me. But as she’s seen me, I have no option but to speak to her now, so I hurriedly make my way over to her, mumbling my excuses to Ana. Something tells me it’s best to keep these two women apart.

“Christian, darling, this is an unexpected pleasure. What brings you here today?” Elena greets me by kissing me on both cheeks, lightly touching my arms as she does so, in a way she understands I can tolerate. Not much Elena doesn't know about you is there?

I swear I can feel Ana’s eyes boring into my back. Has she worked out who this is I'm talking to? Of course she has, Grey. She’s not stupid, she’s a bright girl, remember?

“I could ask you the same question. You don’t normally work at this salon.”

I respond to Elena’s question with another question to avoid answering.

“Oh I’m just filling in for one of the technicians who has very inconveniently called in sick, when she has a full list of appointments booked in for today. I like to keep my hand in, so I didn’t really mind too much,” she explains, quickly glancing over my shoulder to see who I’ve come in with. “So, come on, tell me what you’re doing here?”

“Anastasia wants to get her hair cut.”

“So that’s Anastasia? But I thought you two broke up?”




“We’re back together. She’s giving me another chance.”

“Oh, I see. Are you sure that’s wise, Christian? I mean, after the state you were in last weekend, do you really want to risk putting yourself through all that again? I’ve been so worried about you, especially as you’ve been avoiding me, which makes me think you’re not convinced you’re doing the right thing. You know you can always talk to me about anything, anything at all, I’m always here for you.” She looks so worried and concerned, that now I feel really bad for not taking her calls.

“I know Elena, and I appreciate your concern, I really do. But this was something I had to figure out by myself. And I’ve decided that I’ll change, I’ll do anything to have Anastasia in my life again, whatever it takes.”

“I see. I take it that when you say you’ll change, you mean you’ll rein in your needs, because she can’t take it?”

“That’s right. Like I said. Whatever it takes.”

Elena shakes her head in disbelief.

“This really is something new for you, isn’t it? A whole new experience.”

“What do you mean?”

“You chasing after a girl. Christian, you’re used to beautiful women pretty much throwing themselves at your feet.  But now it seems that just because this young, inexperienced girl is playing hard to get, she has you running around after her as if you’re a besotted teenager. Are you sure it isn’t just the novelty factor of it all?”

“No, it’s not like that at all. I’ve never felt like this about anyone before. That’s why it hit me so bad when she left me.”

Elena grimaces and shakes her head.

“You poor boy. I couldn’t bear to see you like that again. Look, don’t bite my head off, but have you given serious thought to just exactly how you are going to manage your needs? Are you really sure, completely certain, that you wouldn’t be better off simply molding a new submissive to suit your needs?  You could devise a new type of scene to play, one where you get your sub to show you some resistance and defiance, as this seems to be what’s attracting you to Anastasia. That way you would still be able to let off steam in your usual way when you punish your disobedient sub, and that would help keep you calm and in balance.”

I know Elena is just trying to help, and I can’t deny there was a time when her idea might possibly have intrigued me, but now quite frankly it repulses me.

“You don’t get it, do you Elena? It’s not just about the sex any more. Anastasia and I have this connection, this special bond. I enjoy her company. I love being with her, spending time with her, taking her out, even just sleeping next to her and waking up with her.”

“You mean you actually share your bed with her, Christian? My word, that is a huge change for you. Fair enough, I suppose, if you are really sure about this. I guess I just have to accept that this is a different type of relationship for you, and that you know your own mind.  Don’t get me wrong, darling, I’m delighted for you. All I want is for you to be happy and contented.”

She rubs my arms to reassure me, although she still looks worried as she bites her lip. Funny how it’s only sexy when Ana does that.

“Maybe I should speak to this Anastasia of yours, just as a friend, give her a few hints and tips to help ease things along. You’ve only known each other a few weeks after all, whereas you and I go way back, don’t we? With all your issues, you are a very complex person, and no one knows you better than I do, so maybe I could be helpful.”

“I don’t think that’s such a great idea. Anastasia knows about you and she doesn't really get our relationship. Actually, she calls you Mrs. Robinson.”

“Does she now? That’s really quite funny I suppose.”

I see Elena glance over in Ana’s direction, and smile at her.

“I see Anastasia’s your usual pretty little brunette type. You haven’t changed that much then, Christian. Are you taking her to the benefit that your parents are hosting tonight? I wasn’t going to go, it’s not much fun going to these affairs alone, but if she’s going to be there, it could provide the perfect opportunity for me to have a quiet word with her.”

“No, Elena, I really don’t think that’s such a good idea. I don’t think it would be helpful. There really is no need for you to get involved.” Ana would go ape shit. “We’ll work things out together, in our own way, one step at a time.”

“That doesn’t sound like you speaking Christian, it sounds more like something that quack Dr. Flynn would spout. Are you still consulting him?  Don’t let him take you for a ride and bamboozle you with all his fancy pseudo terminology. He doesn’t know you, or understand your needs the way I do. No doubt he just likes the prestige of having you, one of the richest and most successful young men in the country, as one of his esteemed clientele.”

Elena has no time for shrinks and would never dream of consulting one herself, but she particularly dislikes Flynn, which is odd, as he’s really the only one that I’ve ever truly felt comfortable with and had any confidence in.

So I don’t tell her about the very useful session I had with Flynn yesterday. He says he sees a change in me, which he believes began in earnest when Ana told me she loved me. A positive change for the better, he says, because he thinks I'm finally beginning to accept that I am worthy of love, or some such crap. We’re still discussing the implications, but he thinks us breaking up could turn out to be the best thing that could have happened to me. Hard for me to accept, but I guess he could be right. Flynn’s very keen to meet Anastasia, and as he’s also coming to tonight’s benefit, he will probably get his wish.

 “I might just have to steal her away from you at some point,” he warned me with a smile.

“I’d like to see you try,” I scoffed back at him. Of course he knows all about my possessive, jealous and controlling nature.

So now as I look at Elena, I realize that I’m really looking forward to attending this function with Ana and my family tonight, and the last thing we need is Elena sticking her oar in to spoil things. I know how hostile Ana is towards her, so I'm certain it would not be productive for them to have a meeting.

“There really is no need for you to worry yourself, Elena, and I don’t need you to speak to Ana on my behalf. Like I said, we are working things out between us.”

“As you wish, Christian. All I can say is that of course you have my full support, and I wish you the very best of good luck in achieving what you want.”

I look over at Ana and see her standing there looking distinctly icy and stony faced. Shit. I mutter my farewells and head back over to her.

“Are you okay?”

“Not really. You didn’t want to introduce me?” Ana sounds totally pissed with me.

“But I thought…” I'm confused. I thought Elena would be the last person she’d want me to introduce her to, but now she’s acting as if she thinks I'm ashamed of her or something?

“For a bright man, sometimes…. I’d like to go, please.” I’m bright but I'm not a fucking mind reader. I can’t keep up with these mood swings. Fucking females, so hormonal and hard to read.

I try and explain things to Ana, but she doesn’t really want to listen, as she marches out of the salon with me trailing behind. I’ve no idea what I'm supposed to say, so I just walk with her and wait for her to open up.

As we walk along, she starts questioning me about the salon and whether I used to take my subs there. I answer her honestly – no point in lying at this stage, as she’s already pretty much worked it out for herself.

“Can you see how fucked-up this is?” She glares at me.

“Yes. I’m sorry.” I was more concerned with making sure she didn’t get her beautiful hair ruined by going to some unknown salon, so I guess I just didn’t think this through properly. No one’s ever objected before. Big mistake, Grey. Ana is not like any of your previous subs in any way whatsoever, surely you’ve figured that out by now?
And Ana certainly doesn’t pull any punches, when I check she’s not running out on me, because of all this shit that keeps finding its way out to trip us up.

“I just want to get my hair cut, preferably somewhere where you haven’t fucked either the staff or the clientele,” she snarls at me. Ouch. But she has a point, Grey.



Thing is, the mood she’s in, I can envisage her storming off and getting some fucking awful outrageous haircut just to prove a point, which she would only regret later. I know she can be impulsive, and I can’t take that risk. So I don’t give up just yet.

“I can have Franco come to the apartment, or your place,” I quietly suggest.

But now Ana wants to know about Elena. Why aren’t I with her, she’s very attractive, all that kind of shit. Green eyed monster?

But our conversation is interrupted by a call on my cell.

It’s Welch. He has some Intel on Leila at last. But it’s not good news. He’s finally managed to wheedle out of her husband that she left him about three months ago to run off with another guy who was subsequently killed in a car accident about four weeks ago. So it seems she’s grief stricken, and that’s what’s making her unbalanced. At least we have some sort of an explanation for her behavior now.

“Are you aware of Miss Steele’s current whereabouts?” Welch asks me next.

“She’s here, she’s watching me.”

“Have you apprised her of the current situation?”

“Yes.”

“And about the Close Protection Team that’s going to be necessary?”

“No.”

“Have you made a decision on the exact format of that team yet, sir?”

“Two or four, twenty-four seven,” I state. Depends on whether we are going out together or if she wants to go somewhere on her own, which I certainly won’t be encouraging.

“Do you think Miss Steele will be cooperative?”

“I haven’t broached that yet.” I look over at Ana, who is regarding me with uncontained curiosity.

“Well, I'm afraid the next piece of Intel I have makes it imperative that she does cooperate, Mr. Grey. Miss Williams, or rather Mrs. West as she is now, has managed to obtain a concealed weapons permit.”

What…?”

“This means that she can now go and buy herself a gun,” he spells it out, just in case I haven’t understood the significance of this shocking piece of information.

“I see. When?”

“Yesterday, so it’s a recent development, and certainly not a positive one.”

“That recently? But how?” FUCK. That means potentially she could have had a gun when she accosted Ana outside SIP.

“All she had to do was fill out the form and get it approved. Pretty easy and straight forward.”

“No background checks?”

“There would have been the standard checks, but as she has no criminal record, nothing would have shown up that would have led to the permit being refused. I’ve obtained a copy of her permit application, so at least we have those details now. But these developments mean we can’t rule out the possibility that she has hostile intentions either towards you, or more likely towards Miss Steele, who she most likely sees as her rival. We have to assume she’s gone ahead and bought a gun – why else would she bother to get a permit?”

“I see. Email the name, address, and photos if you have them.”

“Yes, Mr. Grey. So I’ll go ahead and firm up the security detail arrangements?”

“Twenty-four seven, from this afternoon. Liaise with Taylor.”

I’d given him the day off to visit his daughter, thinking I wouldn’t need him as I knew I’d be with Ana all day. He’s not due back until this evening, but now he’ll have to be recalled. At least he’s had the morning for some family down time. 

My priority now is to get Ana to a place of safety, so I quickly decide that means my place. I have to ignore the fact that she’s pissed with me; this situation is far too critical to let her hissy fit prevent me from taking care of her and protecting her. 

But I don’t want to scare or alarm her, so although I briefly fill her in with the latest developments regarding Leila, I omit the fact that she probably has a gun.

Ana is still arguing about ‘my Mrs. Robinson’, and still insisting she wants her hair cut, so to shut her up, I call the salon and instruct them that I want Franco at my place in an hour. When Greta starts to say that he has another client, I tell her to speak to Elena, knowing I can rely on her to sort this out for me.

“He’s coming at one,” I inform Ana. Sorted. Don't mess with me.

“Christian….” she splutters at me angrily.

I toy with the idea of just grabbing a cab and whisking Ana away to safety, but as I don’t see any nearby, I figure it’ll be quicker to just go back the couple of blocks to her place, as that’s where the Audi is. She can pick up some of her things, and then maybe she won’t be so alarmed by my actions. 

I really don't want to scare her or push her so she ends up rebelling against me, and ending up in further danger than she already is.  I just have to hope she’ll be reasonable, although it’s not looking hopeful, the mood she’s in.

“Anastasia, Leila is obviously suffering a psychotic break. I don't know if it’s you or me she's after, or what lengths she's prepared to go to. We’ll go to your place, pick up your things, and you can stay with me until we’ve tracked her down.”

Surely she can see the sense in what I’m saying?

“Why would I want to do that?”

No, she’s still being stubborn and unreasonable. Women!

“So I can keep you safe.” It’s for your own good.

“But…”

Ana is still being childish and fucking difficult, but I’ve had enough and I’m not standing for any more of her shit, not now. The situation has just escalated and it’s far too serious for me to allow her to be defiant.

“You are coming back to my apartment if I have to drag you there by your hair.” So don't fucking mess with me.

I really wish Taylor was here to drive us back, but he’s not, so I have to handle this situation as best I can. But I can’t deny I'm worried, because Christ only knows where a possibly armed Leila is right at this moment.

“I think you’re overreacting.” Trust me, I’m really not.

“I don’t. We can continue our discussion back at my place. Come.”I think I’m being really patient and restrained under the circumstances.

But Ana stubbornly and infuriatingly refuses to comply as she folds her arms and glares at me.

“No.”

“You can walk or I can carry you. I don't mind either way, Anastasia.”  

Tarzan/Jane role play – interesting thought. I can play this game if she insists, just so long as I get her out of danger.  


“You wouldn’t dare,” she scowls at me. Not a good choice of words, Ana.

“Oh baby, we both know that if you throw down the gauntlet I’ll be only too happy to pick it up.” I look her right in the eye and stare her out so she knows I mean every word, but I see she’s no intention of backing down. I could argue till I'm blue in the face and she would still stubbornly refuse to see reason.

We’re just wasting precious time here. I'm done with being patient, so I decide it’s time to take action. I quickly grab Ana round her legs, so I can pick her up and throw her over my shoulder to carry her back.  She’s only a slight little thing, so she’s easy for me to carry.

Of course she protests and screams.

“Put me down!”

I just ignore her. I'm actually very much enjoying exerting this much control over my wayward girlfriend, and I can’t resist giving her a nice, hard, satisfying slap on her lovely sexy ass to keep her in her place.

 People stare, but they seem to find it quite amusing. No pervert would act in such a way in broad daylight, so I figure they guess we’re a couple of lovers just goofing around. I’m more than prepared to carry her all the way back, but after a short while she insists she’ll walk, so I put her down.

Oh and she’s angry, really angry, livid in fact, as she stomps off in the direction of her apartment, but she can’t shake me off as I catch her up. She still needs my protection until I can get her somewhere safe.

 But then she abruptly stops, as she suddenly seems to work something out.  

“What’s happened?”

“What do you mean?” I try playing dumb, all the while knowing it won’t wash with Ana.

“With Leila?” Why is Ana so bright and inquisitive?

“I’ve told you.” Most of it anyway.

“No, you haven’t. There’s something else. You didn’t insist that I go to your place yesterday. So what’s happened?”

I try to ignore her question, but she’s not letting it rest.

“Christian! Tell me,” she snaps angrily.

So I have little choice but to reluctantly fill her in about the possibility of Leila having a gun, and I can see that she’s really shocked by this revelation.

“Ana, I don't think she’ll do anything stupid, but – I just don't want to take that risk with you,” I tell her as I pull her into my arms to try and reassure her, worried this latest piece of extra shit will be too much for her to cope with.

But I needn’t have worried; my sweet, brave girl doesn't have hysterics or panic. Instead, her whole attitude changes in an instant, as she protectively wraps her arms around me and hugs me, because she’s more worried about me being in danger than being concerned for her own safety.  Typical Anastasia.

Well, I can live with that, because now she is being much more cooperative about coming to stay with me.

“Let’s get back,” I urge her, and so now Ana finally cooperates as we hurry to her apartment for her to pack her things. 

It makes me stupidly pleased when I see her packing her silly deflated Charlie Tango balloon to take with her. So sweet. Keeping hold of an old piece of rubbish, just because it came from me.

And it turns out this move to my apartment is very fortuitous indeed, because she tells me that Kate’s brother Ethan is arriving back from Barbados on Tuesday, and apparently he’ll be staying at the girls' apartment. 

So, but for this latest turn of events, Ana would have been there all alone with him, just the two of them cosying up together. Over my dead body. I saw how he looked at her at the graduation ceremony, when he had his arm around her. Good looking guy too. 

At least now I don’t have to argue with her over this. Every cloud… Ana certainly won’t be going back to her apartment while he’s staying there, whatever she says about being back to give him the keys.

In fact, the more I think about it, the more I really like the idea of her staying with me. Security wise, it makes much more sense. Knowing where she is, being with her when she wakes up, seeing she eats her meals… yes, this arrangement has a lot to be said for it. Hmm… food for thought here.

We quickly collect her things, and then I drive her straight back to Escala, ignoring her protests about wanting to drive. I hate being driven by anyone that I'm not confident is a fully competent driver, especially females, who never seem to be able to fully concentrate on the task in hand. I guess that’s down to all this multi tasking shit that females are supposedly famous for. 

I also haven’t forgotten the conversation I had with Ray, Ana’s stepfather, at the graduation ceremony, because he certainly didn’t seem to rate her driving skills very highly, hinting that she only just scraped through her driving test by the skin of her teeth, which Ana unwittingly confirms with her defensive attitude.

With a delusional woman on the loose, who could potentially try and follow us, I figure now is not the time for me to put Ana’s driving skills to the test. So I'm driving, and I’m not taking any of her crap about it.

 But even now, Ana still doesn’t give up with the questioning on the way back. She’s pretty much figured out for herself that all my submissives have been brunettes. Elena is the only blonde you’ve ever fucked, isn't she, Grey? The blonde who took your virginity. Elena was your facilitator into the world of BDSM, where you found an outlet for your depraved, sadistic needs.  She was the one who helped you discover and develop your penchant for beating the shit out of little brunette girls.  Fifty shades. Elena helped to reveal many of those different fifty shades, didn’t she? But did she also help to create a few new shades of fuckedupness too? That’s what Flynn thinks. And now Ana too.

Ana seems obsessed about my relationship with Elena. She cannot comprehend that she is just a very good friend these days, and that we are no longer lovers. 

To help her understand why we’re so close, I explain how Elena used a hundred grand of her husband Linc’s money to help set me up in business after I dropped out of Harvard, and how I'm now a silent partner in the successful beauty venture she started.  

But I don’t tell her how Linc exacted his revenge on her when he found out about us. She doesn’t need to know that he beat the shit out of Elena bad enough to hospitalize her, all on my account. Fucking bastard. More details of my sordid past – I think she’s on overload with all my baggage at the moment.

~~~



I’m relieved to get us back to the safety of Escala, where Taylor is already waiting for us in the foyer, having been alerted to our arrival via the internal CCTV system as I parked the Audi.


Having been contacted and put in the picture by Welch, he’s obviously immediately dropped everything, seeing as he’s managed to arrive back before us. 

Shit, I hope his daughter wasn’t too disappointed, but this is what his job entails, and he’s always been very committed and efficient in his duties.  

Ana seems surprised when I ask Taylor about his family, and he explains to her that his seven year old year old daughter lives with her mother. There seems to be quite a rapport developing between Taylor and Ana, as I see him actually smile at her again.  Not sure how I feel about this – I’ve always kept my staff at a distance; it doesn't pay to get too familiar with them. I'm their employer, not their fucking best buddy.

But right now, my main concern is liaising about all the security arrangements with Taylor and Welch, so I tell Ana I have to work, and then head off to my study, having first inquired if she’s hungry. Of course she says she isn’t. I’m tempted to insist she eats something, but as I don't want yet another argument with her, I let it go. I did see her eat a decent breakfast today, so that’s something. I’ll still be insisting she has something later, but for now, I expect she could use some time to get unpacked and settled in before Franco gets here.

I go through the new security arrangements with Taylor. Luckily, because we had been looking to increase our security team in any case, Welch already had some candidates lined up. For now, I’m reassured that the arrangements are all in hand and progressing according to my orders.

So when Franco arrives, I try to locate Ana to tell her it’s time to get her hair done.

I look everywhere, but I can’t find her. Shit. Maybe it’s all been too much for her. Maybe she’s freaked out and decided to run, and I feel the panic start to rise in my chest.

But then, as I check again in her bedroom, I hear her voice, although I can't see her.  Relief floods through me. She’s still here. Thank Christ for that. I just don't know what I’d do if she were to leave me again. I can’t even bear to think about it.

“Mom, it’s complicated. I think he’s nuts. That’s the problem.”

I discover Ana sitting on the floor of the walk in wardrobe in her bedroom, talking to her mom on her cell. It looks as if she’s hidden herself away, as if she needed to find a quiet little sanctuary all to herself. 

I sense trouble here, so Franco will just have to wait while I get to the bottom of this.



I decide it would be wise to interrupt her call before she can say anything too incriminating to her mom, and so I let Ana know I'm here. Can’t disagree with her assessment of me as nuts though.

“There you are. I thought you’d run off.”

Ana holds her hand up to me, as she finishes her call.

“Love you too, Mom.”

“Why are you hiding in here?” She looks so little and lost, sitting here on the floor.

“I’m not hiding. I'm despairing.”

“Despairing?” Of what? Me? Our relationship? This doesn’t sound good.

“Of all this, Christian.” She indicates the contents of the wardrobe.

“Can I come in?” I ask her permission because it feels as if I'm encroaching upon her own little private world, and I sense she’s close to some sort of a crisis or breaking point.  I realize I have to handle this situation with great care.

“It’s your closet,” she replies. No, baby, it’s yours. All yours.
I sit down on the floor with her, and try to reassure her that these are just clothes, and I can easily send them back if she doesn’t like them. But I suspect the clothes are not what is really bothering her.

“You’re a lot to take on, you know?” Now we’re getting to it.

As I suspected. It’s me, us, that has her so confused. And I can’t really blame her can I? But how to handle this, how to handle all this relationship kind of thing is so new and so fucking difficult - for both of us.

“I know. I’m trying.” I murmur.

“You’re very trying.”

“As are you, Miss Steele.” Especially today.

She looks at me intently with those deep blue eyes of hers.

“Why are you doing this?” She looks so confused and unsure of herself – or is it us she’s unsure about?

“You know why.” Because I want to be with you.

“No, I don't.” Does she really not get it?

“You are one frustrating female.” Why doesn't she have more confidence in herself?

“You could have a nice brunette submissive. One who’d say, ‘how high’ every time you said jump, provided of course she had permission to speak. So why me, Christian? I just don't get it.”

For fuck’s sake, now she’s sounding like Elena. What do I have to do to convince everyone I don't want the usual boring submissive type of woman anymore? I only want Anastasia. Just the way she is. She’s different. She makes me different. Better. Definitely a better man.

“You make me look at the world differently, Anastasia. You don't want me for my money. You give me… hope,” I try to explain.

Hope that I don't have to be alone for the rest of my life. 

Hope that I can have the pleasure of sharing everything I have with her. 

I didn’t know it at the time, but now I realize I was so lonely before I met her. And I was incredibly, desperately lonely when she ran out on me, because she left me without hope of anything more in my life. 

So now, hope is what she gives me, because she wants to be with me, for me, not my money. Without Ana… well what is the point of it all, of being as rich as Croesus? It’s just worthless. I learnt that very painful lesson when she left me. 

Money can buy you possessions, but it can’t buy you true, pure love like hers. 

“Hope of what?” she whispers.

“More.” More of life, of actually feeling alive. “And you’re right. I am used to women doing exactly what I say, when I say, doing exactly what I want. It gets old quickly.” That’s why I had to keep dreaming up new, ever more extreme scenes to play with my compliant and obedient submissives - to keep the boredom at bay. But I’m never, ever bored with Ana. “There’s something about you, Anastasia that calls to me on some deep level I don't understand. It’s a siren’s call.” Love? That’s what Flynn says it is. “I can’t resist you and I don't want to lose you. Don't run, please - have a little faith in me and a little patience. Please.”

Ana’s sweet, beautiful face melts into a gentle smile, which warms my heart.

She leans forward and kisses me on my lips.

“Okay. Faith and patience, I can live with that.”

“Good. Because Franco’s here.”

~~~

In reality, Franco De Luca is Frank Lucas, and he is about as Italian as I am, but I have to admit he plays the part well, and puts on a good show to create an artistic illusion, even if his accent is ludicrously over the top at times.  



Once he arrives, I help them set up in the bathroom, then leave them to it, while I head off to work through some spreadsheets that need my urgent attention. There is always endless work to be done, but I find the task is always made more enjoyable by having some beautiful classical music playing in the background.

When they return a while later,  I see that Ana’s hair is still gloriously long, still a lovely, rich, glossy brown, so I’m very satisfied with his efforts. Franco has just trimmed and slightly layered it around the front, so now it prettily frames her face and then tumbles enticingly down over her breasts. He’s done a great job.

“You look lovely, Ana,” I tell her, and she blushes. She really needs to learn to take a compliment.

“Never let anyone else be cutting your hair, bellissima Anastasia!” Franco enthuses, as he rather overdoes the exuberant Italian act. I’m right with you there, Franco. I won’t be letting any other hairdresser near her in case they butcher her lovely tresses. On his way out, I discretely give him a very generous tip for coming over at short notice, and fulfilling his unspoken brief so well.

“I’m glad you kept it long,” I tell Anastasia, as I play with a soft strand of her hair. Like she ever really had a say in the matter.

But she’s still mad at me. Now Franco has left, Ana still wants to talk and get some more answers to her endless questions. I try my usual distraction techniques to get her into bed and fuck her into a better mood, but she informs me that she won’t be dazzled by my sexpertise. Damn, but she’s learning quickly and getting too good at resisting me.  

She lists out everything she has found objectionable today so far. Jeez, it’s quite a list. But what really seems to rile her the most, is that she saw Elena touching me. I try explaining that it's only because she knows where, that I only freak sometimes with her because we don't have any rules, and her touch means so much more than anyone else’s careless touch. 

 It is so fucking difficult to explain to her why this is such a hard limit for me – all I can offer is to promise to fill her in sometime about why she can’t touch me, just not at the moment. I really can’t face it, and she’s already had so much to take on board. Too much.

When she tackles me again about how I had her bank account details, I admit that I always have background checks run on all my submissives. And anyone else you need to find out about, Grey. Lately you’ve had checks run on anyone who so much as breathes the same air as Anastasia.   It’s standard procedure for anyone in my position; it would be negligent not to.

In any case, to show that I’m taking her concerns seriously, I get her file out and hand it over to her to read. There’s nothing too shocking in it, and she was always going to figure out eventually that I have these checks done. She’s going to have to get used to everything that goes with being the girlfriend of a billionaire, which is what I fervently hope she is going to remain for the foreseeable future.  Forever. I never want to her to let her go.

 So now she knows that I didn’t just coincidently drop by to see her when she worked in Clayton’s. No, Miss Steele, I came down especially to Portland, just to see you. You should be flattered.

And she’s still uncomfortable about the money I spend on her, she’s still going on about me giving her the pathetically small amount of twenty four thousand dollars for her car, for Christ's sake.

So I decide it’s time I spelt out for her just how much I make, what I’m worth, as she seems to have no idea, and no interest. Sweet, but naïve. She needs to get used to the idea of helping me redistribute my wealth, because it’s what I want. I want to give her the whole fucking world.

“I don't need to know the bottom line of your bank account, Christian,” she still insists. All she is interested in is me, apparently.

“I know, that’s one of the things I love about you.” One of the many things actually. Love? “Anastasia, I earn roughly one hundred thousand dollars an hour.” And that's a pretty conservative estimate.

I see her jaw drop. Yes, I am stinking rich, because I vowed that I was never going to be starving hungry ever again. A fuck awful start in life like mine either breaks you or makes you. I was determined to make a fortune, and I did. So I guess that makes me a success, although some would argue that I'm still pretty broken. That is until I met you, Anastasia Rose Steele. You are helping to mend me and make me a whole man.

I’m aware that most of my previous subs researched what I was worth, before they agreed to come on an interview with me. That’s how cold and calculating some of them were, but that never worried me. It was a business arrangement, so I understood their motives, and realistically it was just a sensible precaution for them.

 And when their contracts finished, most of them made sure they took everything I’d bought them, right down to the last pair of panties. But that didn’t bother me. It was part of their contract, nothing personal. That was the crux of the matter – nothing personal. The material goods were a financial incentive, part of our contractual agreement. 

Just as a builder gets a bonus for a completed project, if they served me well in keeping up with my very singular demands, they got to keep their Audi. What the fuck would I want with it afterwards anyway?

Several of my subs were interested in me as a Dom because of my sadistic reputation. They were masochists, so they actually got off on being harshly caned or whipped, and wanted even more.

 Leila for example. She loved being beaten, and I suspect she provoked me sometimes just to get me to punish her even harder, to get her into her deep subspace. It was like a fix for her, her own kind of hormone induced drug addiction, and it gave her a very high pain tolerance, because she went into a kind of trance. We played some very intense scenes together, and for a time we had a very mutually beneficial arrangement.

In hindsight, she probably did have some serious issues of her own, but I never delved to discover any details. I didn’t need or want to know, and I always shut her down if she tried to find out more about why I took such pleasure in punishing her the way I did. The arrangement suited us both at the time. When she wanted more and I didn’t, she left and moved on.

That is until now, when she’s made such an unwelcome return into my life. Once we find her, I really hope Flynn will be able to get her the help she obviously needs. It’s the least I can do for her, as maybe my demands helped push her over the edge to make her the way she is now, and I can’t help but feel responsible in some way.

~~~

Ana continues to be in a bad mood with me, even as she starts to prepare some lunch for us, so I head back to my study and leave her to it.  

Once I’ve agreed the final details of the new security team that Welch and Taylor are organizing, I head back to the kitchen, where Ana is listening to Beyoncé’s ‘Crazy In Love’ as she’s preparing lunch. She seems to have an unerring knack for picking out the tunes that Leila put on my iPod. I quietly sneak into the kitchen and then slip my arms around her waist, making her jump.

She insists she’s still mad at me, but I think I finally sense a thawing in her mood. When I ask how long she’s going to keep this up, there’s just a hint of a smile ghosting around her lips as she replies,

“At least until I’ve eaten.” Not forever then. That’s progress.
I change the music to an old favorite of my dad’s. ‘I put a spell on you’ by Nina Simone. Very appropriate. I’m completely under Anastasia’s spell.

Ana looks so fucking hot as she works in the kitchen. She smells so fucking good, she feels so fucking good, so naturally I want to fuck her. I need the reassurance of burying myself deep within her, because I need to make sure we’re still okay. 

And just as I’m finally managing to get up close and personal with her, working that inevitable magnetic pull that’s always there between us,  persuading her to relax and say yes to some hot and very necessary sex with me, I hear Taylor subtly coughing in the background.

“Mr. Grey.”

Fuck. I know he would never interrupt at such an inappropriate moment unless it was important, and one glance at his expression tells me all I need to know. He clearly decided it was best to interrupt us to make his presence known before we headed off to the bedroom for goodness knows how long. So I reluctantly release Ana and head back to my study. Rain check.

Taylor informs me that the three new members of the security team have just arrived and are currently in his office, familiarizing themselves with all our protocols, while they're waiting for me to brief them.   He quickly goes through the details of the men he and Welch have organized, as he hands me copies of their résumés.   

They are all ex forces of one sort or another, as per my instructions and are highly qualified and very experienced.  All come highly recommended and fully vetted. They are the elite, the best that can be obtained. The most experienced is a former colleague of Taylor’s, another former Green Beret, a guy called Luke Sawyer.




“I’d recommend him as first choice for Miss Steele’s personal close protection officer, Mr. Grey. I know him pretty well; we served out in Afghanistan together. He’s cool, calm and unflappable, as well as polite, discreet and respectful, whatever the circumstances or surroundings.  In other words, he won’t be an embarrassment socially. “The other two, Ryan and Reynolds, are also highly experienced operatives. I don't know them so well personally, but Welch assures me that they are also eminently suitable.”

“Right, I’ll leave you to go through all the admin with them while I have my lunch. I’ll brief them in ten,” I tell Taylor as I head back to the kitchen, where whatever Ana has been cooking smells very appetizing. 

She gives me a wry smile, because the track she’s now listening to is Britney Spears ‘Overprotected’*. Very funny. No such thing as being overprotected as far as you’re concerned, baby.

The words of the song make me wonder how she’s really going to cope with all this latest shit. It’s such a lot to ask of her, because it’s all so new and different from her previous world. I just hope all this extra security is not going to be too much for her and scare her off, that it won’t make her think twice about being in a relationship with me. I

’ll be briefing the team that they have to treat her with kid gloves, no heavy handed shit. But no matter what, Anastasia’s safety is paramount. Protecting her will be their absolute number one priority at all times. I cannot bear to even contemplate anything bad happening to her. She is far too precious and special to me. She is my whole world. 

I change the music to Canteloube, Songs of the Auvergne – ‘Bailero’, a classical piece that is a favorite of mine - it’s much more soothing than Britney.

As we eat the delicious Spanish omelet that Ana has prepared, we talk about my upbringing, and then about the clothes that she can choose from for this evening, but to be honest, my mind is not really on our conversation, as I know I have to go and brief the security team shortly. So now I have no option; I have to fill Anastasia in. 

“Just so you know, I have ordered additional security for this evening and the next few days. With Leila unpredictable and unaccounted for somewhere on the streets of Seattle, I think it’s a wise precaution. I don't want you going out unaccompanied. Okay?”

“Okay,” she blinks at me in shock, but at least she doesn’t protest or argue, so that’s something.

“Good. I’m going to brief them. I shouldn’t be long.”

“They’re here?” She seems surprised. Where did she think they’d be?

“Yes.”

With that, I head off to meet the new security team, and to instruct Taylor that I’m not prepared to cry off from the benefit this evening in aid of Coping Together, as he would prefer. Fuck that. This is what I’ve employed a larger security team for; to enable us to carry on with our normal lives as far as we possibly can.  

His reservations stem from several potential security weaknesses at my parents’ house that have been revealed during his security assessment. Unlike Escala or Grey House, it’s not a matter of us entering the property through one simple controlled entrance and then remaining securely inside the building. This evening, the main event is being held in a marquee on the lawn, with open access via the grounds. No doubt it would make the lives of the security team much easier if I just agreed to cry off, but I draw the line at having to shut ourselves away. 

We’re talking about a potential threat from one easily identifiable female. We’ve increased the size of the security detail in line with the perceived threat, so they should be able to manage that threat.  It’s a fine line to draw, but I can’t expect Anastasia to spend her life locked away in a gilded cage, much as I might like it.  She’s like a beautiful butterfly that needs to be allowed to spread her wings. She needs to be protected, but not crushed.

Having said all that, I know everyone will be on tenterhooks all evening. But I don't want Ana to be aware of any of this as far as possible; I want her to have fun. I owe her that much at least, having brought all my considerable fucked up baggage into her life, to the point where she is affected now whether she likes it or not.

I decide that as she is taking on so much for me, I really need to make some sort of gesture, to show her how incredibly important she is to me, and how serious I am about giving her more, in a way that I never have with anyone else ever before.
“You’re a lot to take on, you know?” 
Her words from earlier when she was sat on the floor in the wardrobe, having her little panicky meltdown, come back to haunt me, because I can’t deny the truth in them. I am a lot to take on.

I think about what upset her the most today.  Elena being able to touch me. The fact that she seemed to be able to ignore my indisputable hard limit when Ana can’t.

 I realize I have no option if I want more with Anastasia. I need to face up to this hard limit, this fear I have of being touched. I need to man up and address the issue with Anastasia.

I have an idea about how I can do this, but I need Taylor's help. So I have a quiet word with him.

“I need you to obtain something for me. I need a bright red lipstick…”


Britney Spears ‘Overprotected’
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b82orKQpMOE


Canteloube, Songs of the Auvergne – ‘Bailero

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-iI8tMHrD_c




I don’t own any of the Fifty Shades Trilogy or the characters therein. They belong to E L James. I’m just borrowing them for fun and not for profit. Please refer to the Legal’s page for further details. This work is not to be copied or reproduced in any way without permission. 

137 comments:

  1. Oh wow,what a treat! I've been checking for the new chapter like a crazy person! Thank you...

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  2. Always a treat! Can't wait for the next chapter!!

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  3. You made my morning, thanks. I spent the entire weekend waiting for the next chapter. Now of course I'm going to beg for more-keep them coming- you're doing a great job!

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  4. Fantastic thank you - has brightened up my day having this.

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  5. Love ie, love it, love it!! Once again a well written chapter. Always so excited when you have a new post.

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  6. So good, so awesome. Next chapter please PLEASE,

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  7. THANKYOU, really brightened up my day, I check daily for the next chapter as I can't get enough of Christian point of view, amazing writing again, looking forward to the next chapter!!,

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  8. Luv luv luv this - another fabulous chapter - your writing is really outstanding. Can't wait for the chapter at the ball so excited for this
    well done

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  9. Holy crap, that was amazing. I don't even know what to say about that but that was amazing. Thank you for the extra long chapter. Your insight into Christians mind is mind boggling. You are him. I don't know how you do it time and time again but I am so glad you do. You are definitely feeding into this obsession of Christian Grey that I have. Very well written as well. Please keep it going. Brooke

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  10. Thank you thank you thank you, I loved this chapter, especially hearing Christian and Elena's conversation at the salon. This was the perfect treat to get before work :)

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  11. Thank you for another great chapter, am totally enjoying each and every one of them. keep up the great work .... more more please :)

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  12. A great chapter!!been waiting for it and it posted at a perfect time!!having issues with my bf and this is exactly what i needed to distract me for awhile!thank you so much for all your hard work and effort!!i love your chapters and impatiently await the next!! :)

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  13. Another phenomenal chapter! Was looking for something to read and then you came through. Awesome. Christian and Elena - fantastic. Really hate that woman. Your thought process is amazing and I can't wait for each chapter! Thank you and don't stop writing!! Can't wait to read your novel

    Mel

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  14. Oh what a fantastic long chapter. I absolutely loved every moment of it. I hate Mrs bitch troll Robbinson, can't wait till Ana puts her in her place. Ooo the red lipstick road map, 1 of my favourite parts of the trilogy. Do you have parts that you really enjoyed writing or favourite parts that you can't wait to write?
    Thanks for your brilliant writing and will be sitting waiting for more updates when you get a chance. As I know you have a busy personal life, I can cope with delayed gratification. Plus, the longer the gaps between chapters the longer the blog will go on for :)

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    1. Thanks, Amy. Yes, there are some parts I enjoy writing much more than others. I love writing Elena actually, knowing how everyone hates her!

      And thanks for your understanding about gaps between chapters!

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    2. I wish we knew your name. Love, love, love your writing. (sigh) Thank you for keeping Christian alive. Please let us know when your novels come out. When I read your chapters, I visualize Christian writing them. You make it soooo real.Love the pictures of Ian. He's my favorite for the role.

      Ellie T.

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  15. THANK YOU for this delicious chapter! He really is every facet of "protective" hum? Keep up the great work! :)

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  16. Brilliant as always have just stared to read them this weekend and cant wait for the next chapter :) love it :)

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  17. I just KNEW it!!!! I have to wait another week before you get to this next part of the book!!! But all frustration aside, this is a really well written installment. Thank you so much for all of the effort that you expend each day to get this story written, getting into a very difficult and warped mind, giving your readers a birds-eye view of change and emotional growth. Its a very moving account. Thanks.....now......another week before I get to read the very next scene b/c I know Grey feels as if he's been mind-f%cked allowing such close scrutiny of his #1 hard limit. I can not wait to read it.

    Bethann

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  18. I'm so glad I found your blog! I spent all of yesterday reading the entire thing, and you are fabulous! You have captured it! My new addiction is your blog-- I really was caught up in Christian's POV and you have really done an amazing job! Now I don't care if EL writes the sequel-- your chapters are just what I needed to get into his head. Thank you!

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    1. Thanks Terry. Glad you found your way to my blog.

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    2. Me again. Just wanted to complement you on your more subtle character development. While I've read the books 9 zillion times, I've always had a problem with how Ana goes from naive virgin to sophisticated relational maturity and sex goddess in a period of a few months. Because your blog is more about Christian, you really give him (and Flynn, especially) a color and shading that is so missing in the book. I think EL is fabulous at location detail to where you can actually picture the locations in your head, she's a little weak with realistic development of characters. You're are great at it, and I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate it! You are quite talented!!!!! :)

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    3. Thanks, Terry. That't the part I enjoy writing the most - getting inside the characters head. I think it's really hard to get all the location details correct when the story is set in another country that you aren't familiar with, so all credit to ELJ as a fellow Brit!

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    4. Being from the US, and having been in Seattle (FABULOUS)-- I will tell you that ELJ NAILED it! Portland, and the Heathman too! The Pacific NW is beautiful and she really described it perfectly, even tho she had never seen either place.I know some Americans had an issue with the British idiom and phrases (we say "wait a minute" and you guys say "wait a beat", etc)-- but I LOVED it. It's all fantasy, after all!

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  19. It's good to know that Christian is not entirely without a sense of humour. Tarzan and Jane role play? That would be hilarious. Your doing such a great job getting inside the troubled head of Mr Mecurial, good work.

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    1. I like to think that Christian has a good sense of humour that has just been tucked away for a long time, but that Ana helps brings it out in him.

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  20. WOW another great chapter..... Loved Loved Loved whn he was talking to Elena at the salon was wondering what they where talking about. All the stuff with Leila is getting very interesting, cant wait to read more when shes in the apartment. Great writing thanks.
    Chez xx

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  21. Good chapter my only little complain is too much dialogue is missing just the internal ones are present and that make me miss the book but as always good job.

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    1. Hi Sandie23. Fair point about the missing dialogue. However it gets extremely tedious and boring for me, and I suspect a lot of readers, if I just reproduce the original book word for word for a large proportion of a chapter. I'm trying to portray Christian's unknown thoughts to give a fresh perspective to the story.

      Hope you see where I'm coming from :)

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  22. As always you did an excellent job. I especially like your take on what he and Elena talked about at the salon. Love it!

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  23. What a great way to start off the week - a new chapter! Loved it & anxiously awaiting the next. THANK YOU!

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  24. What a great way to start today! Thank you so very much for all you do for us! Another amazing chapter as always!Love Christian and always interesting to read about Elenea!

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    1. Hi Samantha - I admit I really enjoy writing about Elena - such fun!

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  25. Superb as always can't believe you left on such a cliff hanger
    Can't wait for the next installment and then at the masked ball its
    Realy starting to heat up and book two is by far my faviorite and
    Then book three. Waiting with baited breath for the next chapter.
    Please don't stop your brain is amazing.

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  26. Delicious, absolutely delicious. Fantastic writing and really good character development.
    thank you thank you thank you xxx

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  27. Wonderful as always Sweetie! I've been having a really hard time w/ my personal & professional life right now. I guess it is my fault for going in to business w/ my father. Needless to say I have been rather spacey lately, not to mention busy as all get out. So if I didn't review last chapter, please know that it is nothing personal on your part at all. I found it wonderful & magical. I loved everything that went on at Ana's apartment.

    This chapter was perfect as well. Just what I have always pictured going on in Christian's head & Elena's too when they were talking while at Esclava. How Christian can't see that Elena is so manipulative is beyond me. I loved how you had Christian thinking that she did probably contribute to some of his 50 Shades & his F'updness ;)

    Thank you so much for a wonderful couple of chapters.

    XOXO,
    Ang

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    1. Hi Ang. Hope things are getting sorted for you so that life becomes just a little less stressful. I understand totally how overwhelming stupid real life can get at times.

      So thanks for keeping in touch at such a busy time for you :)

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  28. Thanks for another great chapter!! It's made my morning here at work!

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  29. Thank You !!! I cant wait till the next chapter at the Party !!!! Love It !
    Viola

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  30. Another great chapter!!! I am enjoying Christian's POV so much! I just love seeing how he is working things out in is mind about her and how they have to proceed. The internal dialogue he has with himself is wonderful!!

    I am addicted to your blog and have recommended it to many of my friends!!

    Can't wait for the next chapter, I love the ball scene!

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  31. Cool chapter. Love the bit about the salon and Franco. I'm looking forward to the confrontation between Ana, Leila and Christian and of course the upcoming masked ball. Terrific as always. Hey loved the picture of Tarzan and Jane. Sounds exactly like Christian and Ana! Where'd you find that beautiful sign 'Escala'? Very nice! Always looking foward to the next chapter. Awesome way to wake up to and eat breakfast with.

    Nan :D

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    1. The Escala sign? It's amazing what you can find when you google search! It helps that it is a real location, with real pictures for prospective buyers :)

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  32. I was so excited to see the email from you in my inbox. Thanks again for another great chapter.

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  33. Love this chapter but I now cant wait for the red lipstick,masked ball,leila and the Hotel scene when he finally admits he LOVES her so excited.Thanks again as always good job

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  34. I liked it when it dawned on him hed mentioned love when he said 'it's one of the things I love about you'. The realisation is creeping in! Can't wait for masked ball. I check my email every day for an update.

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  35. great chapter worth the wait! love the way you keep up with the book and i agree with you that you can not repeat word for word everything if people have read the books they should know what happens,keep up the good work

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    1. Thanks, most people seem to have read the books over and over again, don't they?

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  36. never cease to amaze me how brilliantly you write Christians pov its as though you are really inside his head listening to his thoughts i have to keep reminding myself this is fiction but flipping amazingly written Thankyou : ) Mel

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  37. Wooooo hooooo. I was soooo excited to see an email from you that a new chapter was posted. Once again you doping disappoint... Loved it!!! Can't wait for the masquerade and the Elena / Ana encounter....

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  38. was thrilling as usual..cant wait for the upcoming once.please please not keep us waiting for too long

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  39. Thank u thank u, loved reading this chapter, can't stop checking to see if u have updated another chapter, please please don't stop, ur doing a brilliant job xxx

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  40. Wow. great chapter. Loved how you captured the meeting in the salon between Christian and Elena. So awesome. Thank you so much for your writing. I look forward to each chapter and hope that you'll keep them coming sooner rather than later. Thanks again.

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  41. Another great chapter! I love this pov seems how he really would be. Can't wait for the next one! I've read the trilogy 3 times and this 3 times. I like that you really go into this thoughts. It is so different from the dialogue from the trilogy but at the same time genuine. Keep it up! Look forward to reading more.

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  42. Love it!! More, More lol

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  43. Loved it. I was so looking forward. I recently found your posts and read all in one week. You really do a great job and I love the pictues you add. Thank you so much for doing this.

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  44. I finally got to catch up on all your updated chapters..YEY MEEH!!! I love it!! You are such a talented writer I really cant wait to read something original from you!! Until then, I'll be happy with your CG's POV =) Thank you, Thank you!!!

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  45. Dear Christian doesn't know what's hit him! His love for Ana has turned his world upside down and inside out causing him to do a lot of self reflection. I've read FSOG a number of times now trying to identify when he changed, his metamorphosis, his transformation but it is your writing that gives that clarity to me. It's very satisfying as a reader. Thank you for doing this.

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  46. had me on the edge of my seat ..love seeing the way hes fallen for her and trying to work out his feelings ..cant wait for the next chapter

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  47. I spent a day a Hampton Beach with my friend. The whole time while I was doing yoya, walking or soak up the sun I was thinking about you: new chapter up yet? Even while I was doing meditate you some how got into my head as well. Jeez this is serious. All your fans are so addicted to you.
    As always you did a great job. Loved how Christian explained what "hope" meant to him. He started to say the L word to himself now. So sweet!!!
    Thanks for your time. We love your blog. Well you know that already.
    Kim

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    1. Hi Kim.

      Well, at times I too have been away on holiday in some lovely places, and all my mind was filled with was what I wanted to write next! It gets in your head and won't go away until it's written down, or in your case, read about!

      I guess when a story grabs you, it just REALLY grabs you, eh?

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    2. It was kind of funny to think about it now. "breath...clear your mind...breath...new chapter up yet? breath...well I can read it later...It amazing that we are all in to it. Thanks to you!
      Kim

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  48. Thanks for the wonderful update!!!! I waited all weekened for it!!! Keep them coming!!

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  49. Amazingly written!! Thank you so much!!

    I cant wait for the next chapter. I started reading on Saturday and I am all done. DARN!!!

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  50. Aweee man, I need more! :(

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  51. What are nice chapter this was too read...you have really captured Christians thoughts perfectly!! I am si glad that you are so devoted to your blogging. I think I speak for all of your followers when i say that you have brought Christian to life!! Xo


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  52. Thank you for brightening my Monday....been looking forward to it ALL day!!! Amazingly written as usual. Can't wait for more...never can seem to get enough!! I LOVE the way Christian loves Ana and she loving him...Thank you, Sir. x

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  53. excellent chpt. i lol when he started talking about females being difficult and mood swings, to funny coming from him. he is so unapologetically a control freak when it comes to her, he gets his way but he knows its best to let anna think shes the one making the decision to avoid a fight. i knew he would have had a problem with her staying in the house with ethan and woud have stopped it. i love that its dawning on him he loves her and to have more hes willing to try with the lipstick. loved your take on that witch elena, shes so damn manipulative and he is a bright man but he doesnt see it yet, but he is starting to wonder. cant wait for the party, keep up the good work :)

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    1. Hi KC.
      I think that's what frustrates Ana - she can instantly see Elena for what she truly is, so why can't Christian, seeing as he's a genius at most things. But her influence over him is so deeply ingrained, and she is so fantastically good at manipulating him that he just can't see it - not yet anyway.

      But between Ana and Flynn pointing him in in the right direction, we know he gets there in the end!

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  54. Ooooh this chapter was a delight to read! Will there be another chapter with Flynn?

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    1. I think inevitably there will have to be, won't there?

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  55. Oooooooo!!!!! I just learned of this blog on Saturday and I spent all day Sunday, yesterday reading all the chapters. Splendid writing!!! I was so sad when I finished reading the trilogy and was left with wanting more!! Thanks so much for filling that void. Can't wait for the next chapter.

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  56. Love the chapter and I like where you stopped it. Makes me very excited for the next chapter

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  57. Amazing! As always! It's like you are inside his mind! Can't wait foe tre next update!

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  58. I think this special song really really speaks of Christian during this hell week: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDFaUVCaUuI A must add somewhere to the Grey Canon.

    Bethann

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    1. It's a beautiful song, Bethann. I'll ask Tiffany to add it to the play list :)

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  59. Thank you so much for writing! You do an amazing job at it! Very in depth! Please don't stop and I'm not talking about after you've finished with Christian Grey. I mean I would love to read more stories from you! Again, thank you so much for this!!

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  60. What can I said, Amazing! chapter as usually.I don't mind the waiting because
    I know you delivery it.

    CP

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  61. one word: WOW!!!! Another amazing chapter!!!! YOU ARE CHRISTIAN GREY!!!.. I really hope EL JAMES wouldnt be doing a sequel to Fifty..I wanted Christian's mind to remain a mistery for me actually..and also I was thinking we really woudn't know how guys think right? I was thinking if you write something from a man's pov, its either you do justice or messed up...but having read your Christian's POV..ITS SO DAMN FUCKING GOOD, I AM CONVINCED THIS IS REALLY CHRISTIAN'S MIND!..thanks for all your hardwork..and PLEASE, PLEASE DONT STOP WRITING:)..you're making a lot of people happy:)

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    Replies
    1. Thanks. I think I'm flattered that I can get into the mind of a fifty shades fucked up man.....

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  62. Awesome, keep them coming!

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  63. This chapter was great. It ws worth the wait ' so excitd about the next one, thanks heaps christian loved every bit of it, xxx love rose

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  64. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ it well worth the wait as usual another great chapter thank you xxxx your proof reading sub xxxxxxx heather xxxxx

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  65. Love reading Christian's POV! I'm looking Forward to the apt. scene with Leila.

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  66. Great I love it. Keep them coming! Look forward to it!

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  67. Love your writing! So obsessed with FSOG, but love the continuation with Christian's POV. Have all my friends reading your blog. Keep up the great writing and keep us informed when you publish your own book. Love all the chapters.

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  68. Love it, love my 50 Shades fix. Can't wait for more.

    ~Annalee

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  69. Omg¡¡¡ love it love it... woww that was amazing as usual love the part with Mr. Robbinson at the salon and also great that we can see part of what is going on with Christian when found out about stalking Leyla....cant wait to the next chapter Omg that will be amazing with the lipstick maps on Christian body wooww that will awesome :) :) :)

    thanks for this and waiting anxious for the next chapter

    Hugs from México ;)

    Móny Cañedo

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  70. Wonderful! I can't wait to read CPOV with the lipstick and Ana!

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  71. Powerful!!!!!! Brilliant as usual. Looking forward to "more "
    Leissa mc

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  72. Thank you for another great chapter! Its great to have a better understanding of how Christian thinks and how deep his feelings are for Ana.The whole experience of their love story is so much richer in your version than in the original. I think I really fell for Christian after I started reading your chapters!

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  73. Again again you did it. My only thought is that I don't think Christian would be so open with elana. I know he told her alot but I just think he would not have opened his thoughts up that much. Don't get me wrong I love love love this POV. I just feel that he is starting to brek from her by this point.

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    1. Hi Allie. I hear what you're saying about Elena. I'm just going with the view that Christian always insists that she is is oldest and closest friend, that he can talk to her - he's known her intimately since he was 15 after all. He is beginning to have doubts about her, but it's going to take a long time to undo all those years of influence. I like the idea of Elena/Flynn giving him opposing advice, one on each shoulder so to speak. I think the break from Elena starts in earnest when she tries to speak to Ana at the masked ball, against Christian's wishes. I see that as the major turning point, which is coming up shortly.

      This is just my interpretation of course :)

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  74. I am really enjoying reaDing these chapters on Christian's point of view. Excellent job. Its a great fix. They just enD too soon.

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  75. I just want to say thank you very much for all of this you truly make me/ us happy with your writing , you are a very good writer keep up the good work can't wait for the next chapter , which if you don't mind me asking how often do you post the new chapter so I know exactly when to check for it ?
    Noor

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    1. Hi Noor. I usually update once a week at the weekend, sometimes with an extra update midweek if I have time. Just lately, that hasn't happened very often I'm afraid.

      Glad you're enjoying the blog anyhow :)

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    2. Thank u for replying back to me that was sweet of u have nice day

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  76. You are doing a great job with cg pov! I'm sure at times your brain seems fried and you don't have the time to write; take all the time you need! "Good things come to those who wait"
    thanks maria

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  77. Wow, you are doing an awesome job. Thank you!!!!

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  78. You. Are. Brilliant! You're able to fill in the gaps which made me enjoy Fifty Shades so much more...especially the conversation between christian and elena at the esclava. you are a genius! i hope you continue writing the FS trilogy in Christian's POV and beyond. Thank you!

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  79. again love it love it
    cannot wait for more chapters

    hugs from down under ( Sydney Australia)
    Judy

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  80. Wow...u r indeed so good at this....keep up the good job....got most of my friends to read your blog....u r amazing.....can't wait the next exciting chapter.....greetings from Melbourne, Australia.....cheers!!!!!!

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    1. I'm liking the Australian contingent here. Thanks to all my ladies down under, and hugs back at you ()

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    2. Hugs to u too.....and Keep writing plsssssssssss :)))))))) cheers......Rouna

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  81. Wow..I really love reading theses chapters from Christian's POV ..you are doing such an excellent job..keep up the good work..can't wait for the next one..thanks again!! :))

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  82. Thank u so much for bringing out Christian's pov. U have done an amazing job!! Looking forward to the net chapter.

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  83. DAMN.... I'VE READ ALL OF THIS AND NOW I HAVE TO WAIT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE FOR MORE!!!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS BLOG!!!!! THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH!!!!! from a HUUUUUGE fan!!!!! xoxoxoxo

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  84. I just discovered this and was up until 2 am reading. Now I have to wait, too! Damn! How long before the next installment?

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    1. Next chapter should be up at the weekend. It's coming along very nicely:)

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  85. I completely agree with your portrayal of Elena.

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  86. I hate waiting. But thank you for this awesome blog!

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  87. Cannot wait for the next chapter!! Thank you sooo much for these blogs!!

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  88. Love, love ur blog! I thank you for giving us more CG. I know like many i couldnt get enough and would keep re-reading the trilogy, BUT now we have ur fantastic blog! We appreciate it and can't wait for more chapters :)
    Annie

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  89. cannt wait for more chapters well done again for a brill chapter . someone else has writen a blog about christains pov i started to read it but yours is far better cannt wait for the next chapters xx

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  90. Totally love this side of christian coming out finally cant wait till she gets her hands on that red lippy and makes her mark an him, love christians pov so much my man is getting fed up me coming to bed at silly oclock hrs but i need my fix, Thank you,......more please!!.xx

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    1. Oh Nicola, careful your man doesn't get too fed up, I don't want to be responsible for any break ups!

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  91. so glad that you have done these blogs from his pov, cant wait for the next chapter

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  92. hi, wot can i say,the fifty shades has taken the uk by storm and i read all 3 book in 10 days,the kids had some late nights as i was so engrossed i didnt get them to bed.lol. i have loved reading this,found it via facebook,on fifty shades of grey news page,ur blog is on there. ive also sent it to my friends. i just love reading it from christians side,the funny conversations with elliot and dr flynne,and even the odd bit from taylor. the way u write exactly what we want to know is amaizing. the calls he makes ,whats said from both sides of the call. i just cant wait for more.... i dont know what im gonna do now ive gotta wait for u to post the next amaizing chapter. but i can tell you i will not be reading any other attempts,as i didnt like to read the comment that someone has wrote that he cheated on anna with subs and a young type of anna wannabe. so awful,i will not be reading that i can tell you.
    what u r doing here is simply genius,i cant wait for the rest to follow and also your very own book to be out,coz ill be buying it.
    love love love it
    thankyou,please dont keep me waiting too long,its been a month since i finished the books.
    thanks luv jen from herfordshire
    p.s the kids keep coming over and saying "r u still reading that mummy"lol,then sighing

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  93. Hi Jen in Herts. You must have very patient kids. Mine are grown up but can still be very demanding at times, hence part of the reason I have been so busy of late!

    Hopefully a new chapter will be up this weekend, as I should have a day to myself tomorrow to finish it off. Fingers crossed!

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  94. I just wanted to tell you what a talented writer you are, and I have had so much fun, re-reading book 1 and then reading the corresponding parts with the blog! It has been amazing!!!!

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  95. Just want to tell you that every person I speak to about your blog can't wait to start reading it......
    As I said before 750,000 people can't be wrong - because your writing and POV is so believeable.........
    Thanks from all your friends in Australia...
    Keep going Please....
    Can't for the next chapter.......

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  96. Just poking forward to the next chapter:) I love Christains point of view! Your doing fab! X

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  97. OOOOOOOOOOHH You did it again!!!! Great stuff as always & the way you kept us hanging at the end there was PERFECT!!! In my head when Christian was talking to Elena at the salon he was telling her about the Leila situation...... But I love what you did there, it makes more sense, especially when she ends up at the masked ball!!!!
    Keep those creative juices flowing lovely :o) Can't wait for the next one!!
    Big thank you's from Australia,
    Jenni

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    1. Hi Aussie Jenni. I did seriously think about having Christian discussing the Leila situation with Elena, and it would make a lot of sense. But I wanted to keep the focus on the Christian/Ana/Elena triangle, so went for that option in the end. Then I think it ties in with the Masked Ball, when Christian says something along the lines of he asked Elena not to talk to Ana and now he's telling her to keep away, which infers that they have discussed Ana together. Of course Elena keeps interfering, which makes me think she's taking a very personal interest in the relationship because she thinks she knows whats best for Christian. And I don't think Elena mentions Leila in any of the snippets of conversation we get in the book, so I chose not to go down that road in the end.
      It's all just conjecture really isn't it? But lots of fun, and thanks for your feedback :)

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    2. Yes, your option definitely makes more sense when you think about it. Good point, well made as ever. ;o)
      Loved your Dr Flynn vs Elena / Good vs Evil analogy! I can just imagine each of them on Christian's shoulder as he battles with his conflicting emotions.
      Also LOVE LOVE LOVE your Dr Grace Trevelyan Grey story too!!! It's amazeballs!!
      Thanks,
      Aussie Jenni :)

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  98. This is great. I love hearing Christian's pov. Can't wait for the next chapter.

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  99. This is so addictive cant leave it alone.
    Loving every bit of it!!
    Dont want it to end it is so good
    I think every couple should read all of these books
    Help to keep there relationships alive
    Keep up this amazing story please
    Carli xx

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  100. Your vision of Fifty is very addictive.

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  101. Great job at writing from Christians point of view. I have read all 3 of the books last year. Keep up the great work.

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  102. to whoever wrote this...I LOVE YOU... you have really made me happy and you deserve an award, love this book.

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Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment. Be sure I read each and every one, even if I don't always reply individually.