09 November 2012

Chapter 43 - Old Baggage

To say that Elena is surprised to discover Anastasia with me, as she casually strolls into my apartment, is an understatement. She just gapes open mouthed at her, frozen to the spot. 

I pull Ana close to my side in an attempt to keep her calm and reassured, because I know she’s not going to be at all happy about this particular visitor.

 It’s obvious that Elena’s mistakenly assumed I’ve kept to the old arrangement I used to have with my subs. They only ever stayed at weekends, never on a weekday like today, so naturally Elena expected me to be here on my own. It just proves that she still has not accepted how different the relationship I have with Ana is, compared to the previous fifteen subs.

“I'm sorry. I didn’t realize you had company, Christian. It’s Monday.”

“Girlfriend,” I pointedly remind her. As I have told you countless times, Elena. Stop trying to ignore it, because Ana is here to stay, so you are going to have to get used to it.

“Of course. Hello, Anastasia. I didn’t know you’d be here. I know you don’t want to talk to me. I accept that.” Elena has quickly regained her composure.

“Do you?” Ana sounds surprisingly cool and assertive.

I'm impressed. I can see that she’s not going to let herself be intimidated by Elena, who is dressed from top to toe in her usual choice of elegant but rather boring black.  I prefer pretty blue shirts

I can smell Elena’s heavy perfume from the other side of the room. Strange – I used to like it, but now I find it overpowering and cloying. A bit like the woman herself. 

“Yes, I get the message. I'm not here to see you. Like I said, Christian rarely has company during the week.” Elena stares at Ana as if she is some kind of oddity. “I have a problem, and I need to talk to Christian about it.”

“Oh?” Now I’m curious as to what the matter could be. “Do you want a drink?”

“Yes, please,” Elena murmurs gratefully, as she heaves a big sigh and pats her immaculate bleached blonde hair. I prefer long brunette hair, especially when it’s spread over the pillow next to me in bed.

As I bring the wine over, both women sit themselves at the breakfast bar. At least they appear to be managing to be civil to each other. Or ignoring each other. Either suits me just fine.

“What’s up?” I ask Elena, who looks nervously over at Ana. I take her hand, determined that she is going to stay and hear what’s going on. I'm not going to keep anything secret from her, not if I want to earn her trust, when she has such negative feelings about Elena already.
“Anastasia’s with me now.” So whatever you’ve got to say, you’re going to have to say it in front of her. That’s the deal, take it or leave it.

Elena smiles, and her faces softens a little. Just as it used to when she was rewarding me for pleasing her. I think of it as her regal smile, one that she deigns to bestow on her subjects. I know all her expressions extremely well.

“I’m being blackmailed,” she confides, as she nervously toys with the large, ostentatious ring she’s wearing on her middle finger.

Fucking hell. Blackmail. That’s always the nightmare scenario for anyone who has a non-conventional lifestyle. But I’m puzzled; Elena is always so discreet and careful. That’s how come no one discovered our relationship for over six years.


She pulls a note out of her purse, and tries to hand it to me, but I instruct her to put it down on the counter, just in case there are useful finger prints on it, although Elena quickly points out that she can't go to the police with it. 

I was thinking more along the lines of letting Welch deal with it. No doubt neither of us feels comfortable at the thought of having the police snooping too closely into our private lives.

“They’re only asking for five thousand dollars. Any idea who it might be? Someone in the community?” I query as I read it.

It’s many years since I was involved with the BDSM community. Mixing in public has never been my thing, I am by nature very much a loner.  Whenever I've needed to acquire a new submissive in recent years, I've always used a very discreet and exclusive online service. 

But something doesn’t seem right about this blackmail attempt, that’s what my gut instinct is telling me. Five thousand dollars seems a ridiculously small amount. Hardly worth the bother of sending the note. 



“What – after all this time? I don’t think so.”

“Does Isaac know?”

I haven’t met Elena’s latest sub, but she’s told me she's happy with him, so their relationship seems sound enough.

“I think he needs to know,” I advise, but Elena shakes her head.

All the while Elena and I have been talking, I've been keeping hold of Ana’s hand as she’s been quietly sitting there. 

Now I feel her trying to extricate herself, but I tighten my grip as I turn to look at her. I don’t want her to feel excluded. I want her here, by my side, so there are no misunderstandings.

“What?” I query.

“I'm tired. I think I’ll go to bed.”

I search her face for clues to try and assess how she’s taking all this, but she keeps a guarded expression, so I can't read her. Is she pissed with me? Surely she understands I have no option but to help my friend in her hour of need?

“Okay. I won’t be long.” I can't make her stay, and it is her choice to leave me with Elena, not mine, so I reluctantly let her go, as Elena bids her goodnight.

Once Ana has left the room, Elena accepts that there is really nothing much I can do to help, then wastes no time in getting onto the subject of my relationship with Ana, as she tells me how happy I look. 

Now I'm wondering if the note was just a pretext, an excuse for her to come over and see me. She knew I was really pissed over her numerous attempts to meet up with Ana behind my back. 

I suspect this may well be the case, as she starts quizzing me about Ana, asking if she understands all my issues.

“She knows me better than anyone,” I insist.

“Ouch. That hurts,” Elena scowls.

Seems she doesn’t like the fact that her position as the only person who truly knows me is being usurped by a beautiful new contender. Puts me in mind of Snow White and the wicked stepmother. Don’t go accepting any apples from her, Ana.

“It’s the truth, Elena. I don’t have to play games with her. And I mean it, leave her alone.”

“What is her problem?”

“You… What we were. What we did. She doesn’t understand.” I'm glad Ana doesn’t understand. It shows how pure and unsullied she is.

“Make her understand.” Why the fuck would I want to do that?

“It’s in the past, Elena, and why would I want to taint her with our fucked-up relationship? She’s good and sweet and innocent, and by some miracle she loves me.”

Elena seems to think it’s not so surprising that Ana loves me, that I'm some kind of a great catch. But she’s missing the point; this new relationship is about much more than money and possessions. I know all that counts for nothing with Ana, and I love that about her. 

For the first time, I feel that a woman is truly interested in just plain Christian, not Mr. Grey, billionaire CEO of GEH. Maybe that’s why I kept hearing her voice playing over and over in my head after our first encounter, when she called me Christian as she was leaving in the elevator, after falling into my office to interview me. Fell headlong right into your life too, didn't she Grey?

“Don't you miss it?”


“Your playroom.”

“That really is none of your fucking business.” Elena always has to hark back to that, but I've discovered that it’s really not the be all and end all, as she has always claimed it was for a man like me.

“I’m sorry,” she sneers, with a condescending expression on her face. 

She seems to forget that I'm no longer that impressionable, inexperienced fifteen year old boy from all those years ago. She has no right probing into my private affairs any more.

But Elena always thinks she’s the expert, that only she knows what’s best for me when it comes to my sexual preferences. However, since I’ve met Ana, I've realized that she is actually very ignorant and knows nothing about the true joy of sex. 

All she knows are cold facts regarding the best techniques, without messy details such as emotions or feelings getting in the way of a totally meaningless fuck to satisfy a physical craving. 

And I've had enough of all that now.

“I think you’d better go. And please, call before you come again.”

She can't expect to come marching in here, as if she owns the place. She doesn’t. Things have changed. There’s a new order now, and she has no place in it.

“I don’t want to lose you, Christian.”

“I'm not yours to lose, Elena,” I state, exasperated by her refusal to accept that things have changed.

But before she leaves, I'm curious to learn why she gave Ana the impression that she saw me on the Saturday after we’d broken up, when in reality we only spoke briefly on the phone. That misunderstanding made things harder for me to reconcile with Ana.

"Why did you say what you did to Ana?"

“I wanted her to know how upset you were when she left. I don’t want her to hurt you.”

Her words make me wonder if I've maybe been a touch hard on Elena. It’s just her way of trying to protect me, an old established habit of hers, that’s hard to break after all this time. 

But it doesn't change the fact that she has to learn to stop now. I don't need or welcome this incessant interfering and meddling of hers, especially as all it achieves is to rile Anastasia each and every time.

Before she leaves, we agree that I might as well get Welch to investigate this attempt to blackmail her. I guess it’s the least I can do for her, as she still remains my oldest friend. 

At least she says she will call rather than drop in unannounced next time, although I can't help hoping there aren’t going to be too many ‘next times’, not the way Ana feels about her.

And with that thought, I head off to find Anastasia, to see how she’s taken this visit from the woman she clearly regards as little better than a she devil.

I don’t own any of the Fifty Shades Trilogy or the characters therein. They belong to E L James. I’m just borrowing them for fun and not for profit. Please refer to the Legal’s page for further details. This work is not to be copied or reproduced in any way without permission. 


  1. Yes! A new chapter.. on my 5th time checking the blog today.

  2. You are awesome! Even on vacation thinking about us ;)
    enjoy your vacation and come back rested to continue your wonderful writing

    thank you so much for sharing your exquisite writing with us


  3. i've stupidly refreshed the page a hundred times since i woke up... its very satisfying to read the new chapter... thank you.. keep 'em coming... good job!

  4. you really are a clever writer im in awe xxx

  5. You have captured the essence of Elena so well, cold, calculating and manipulative.

    1. So true, I liked Christian's comparison of Elena and Ana, and Elena knows it too.

  6. Fantastic, I have been checking a lot today :) is fab, am looking forward to the next chapter, I hope your enjoying your holiday.
    Zoe x

  7. Really interesting chapter. I always like reading stuff that wasn't in the book. He's finally realizing what Elena is, and that she knows nothing about the joy of sex - the emotions.

    I also thought this part was spot on:

    "Seems she doesn’t like the fact that her position as the only person who truly knows me is being usurped by a beautiful new contender. Puts me in mind of Snow White and the wicked stepmother. Don’t go accepting any apples from her, Ana."

  8. I love reading this and i think you've captured my idea of how christian is mentally. can't wait to read the interaction with leila and hyde.

  9. Lovely and perfect....can't wait for more...hope your holiday is going well.

  10. Loved the chapter! You portrayed the evil bitch troll perfectly. I can't wait for more... thanks for thinking of us during your vacation. Have fun! --aabc

  11. Love it as always!!! Can't wait for next friday and a new chapter!! :-)

  12. how much do you want per chapter! I wish you could market this..I'm sure you are in your own way...at least I've been trying to market for you.

  13. Elena just cannot accept that her control over Christian has greatly diminished. It feeds her evil ego to have power over him. She will never understand the emotion of love. Ana is his connection to that As usual, your blog stories never disappoint and I have received my Christian fix. Enjoy your holiday and get a well deserved rest. Love, Carol

  14. Perfect! I am on pins and needles waiting for the Leila saga! It is incredible how well your writing captures the characters just as E.L. James did! Happy Vacation! :)

  15. Another great way to start my weekend! Thank You as always, hope you are having a wonderful vacation...until the next chapter!!!

  16. Thanks for another insightful chapter. I really appreciate Christian's very dry sense of humor. Never thought of him as a funny guy before!

  17. Thank you! That was short and so so sweet. Elena doesn't get it and it seems that Christian doesn't get it either, yet. But he will, oh he will and it will be great when he does. Can't wait for the show-down at the Trevelyn-Grey house.

    1. ME TOO!! I cant wait for that part:)

  18. Amazing. You have captured ChristiN the way I always had hoped.

  19. Short and to the point chapter. Love Christian's "no nonsense" attitude towards Elena. Looking forward to all of the next chapters. Thank you so much.

  20. I just wont to say thanks for writing this amazing side to Christian and seeing his side of things. My sister passed this on to me and wow i cant wait to read more. Hope you have a good brake and for not letting us wait to log for more chapters. You are an amazing writer, have you writton anything ells that i can read. x

  21. Loved!! Hope your vacation is going well!

  22. Amazingly well written as usual! Love it and thank you for my weekend dose of Ana and Christian! I hope you are getting much needed rest and relaxation. Looking forward to next Friday! New chapter and Breaking Dawn part 2!! Can NOT wait!!
    Lisa x

  23. Another great chapter. Enjoy your well deserve vacation and thank you
    for thinking about us.



  24. Another amazing chapter! Loved it :-) hope you are having a wonderful
    Vacation! Have fun and enjoy your time! Don't work top hard;-)

  25. Thank you..enjoyed it, as always!

  26. I love that Christian is kind of realizing what Elena is about. Can't wait for more.

  27. Thanks for the awesome chapter

  28. What a lovely Chapter........
    Hope you are enjoying your vacation......
    Thank you

  29. Did not get email noticed but that's ok. I check your blog daily any way. Loved that Christain compared Ana to snow white and Elena to wicked stepmother. How fitting! Hope you enjoy your vacation and have time to wirte your own book.

  30. Discovered your blog by chance 2 days ago and absolutely love it! I've already read all 43 chapters plus Dr. Grace's blog. I can not wait for the next chapters..

    You are amazing for this!!!

  31. Perfect again.... you really do capture the way Christian is in most of our eyes :D... really looking forward to next Friday and of course the show down . so untill then Laters baby and enjoy your holiday, with live from Scotland xxxd

  32. Thank you for leaving us with something to get our FSOG fix during your vacation, that was very nice and lovely of you. Once again you nailed The Bitch Troll's appearance! I Wish you a nice vacation in this side of the pond, (are you going to Seattle?)

  33. I check your blog daily with the hope that you have written a little more and you upload it on a different day than Friday, we are waiting for your return so you can feed our addiction,so have fun and please don't stop writing ♥♥♥

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  36. Speechless....you never disappoint. Hope you're enjoying your vacation.

  37. Fantastic, I've been checking on and off all day thinking today will be the day!!!! and it was. So looking forward to the show down at the house with Anna and Elena and it all coming out :) wahoo

    Bronny New Zealand

    1. There is so much that happens in a short amount of time: Leila, Jack, the proposal, Christian is missing, the birthday party and showdown with Elena.....this is going to be amazing!!!

  38. Loved it can't wait for the next chapter

  39. I learned of you through a co worker. I read all the chapters in a week between work and my family. I love them and can't wait for you to finish the story.

  40. I love your blog, only found it this weekend-know im a bit behind but ive read the lot am im hooked. I loved the books andread them several times, loving how the characters devloped, and the ending of freed i hoped there would be another book or something more from Christian so thank you. Youve said a lot of things i imagined and hoped and some i hadnt even thought of, just maing christian even more irrestistable and the story more hooking. I cannot wait for the next installment and look forward to any of your own material if its as good as this

  41. A friend told me about your blog last week and I am loving it. Christian's POV is just great. Impatiently waiting for the next chapter. Loved the books and loving your blog.

  42. Loved it!! Can't wait for the next one! Thank You!

  43. Well done for all the chapters, i think you are doing a fantastic job in portraying Christian's POV!! Had found your blog a couple of weeks ago, and when i did i read all your chapters in hours :)

    Keep up the good work and thank you so much for sharing with us, all the best from Malta

  44. as usual ALWAYS A GOOD CHAPTER FROM YOU!:-)...Enjoy your vacation and dont forget you're making a lot of people happy with this fanfic of yours, so dont forget us..lol:-) laters!

  45. I only came across your blog a few weeks ago. I've been through all the chapters and will enjoy reading nr 43 now. I love this!!! Awesome!!!

  46. I almost forgot about the auto-load chapters, but glad i remembered :) short, but sweet and enough for me wanting more like usual! Hoping ur having a great vacation :)

  47. I'm a jersey girl who has been without power for 13 days thanks to hurrican sandy (at least I have a roof over my head!) and was thrilled to be able to get on line and read these chapters! fabulous! can't wait for more!

  48. You are as good as EL James! looking forward to the next chapters . Enjoy your break!

  49. I've just finished reading all of your chapters in 2 days! You're truly a gifted writer and I appreciate the time and effort you've taken to tell this story from Christian's Point of View. Outstanding job!!! It's been a pleasure to get to know Dr. Flynn and Christian better. I also love your take on Evil Elena too! Thank you so much for sharing your talent with us. I hope you can keep up the writing for us till the end of the books. I'm also looking forward to reading your own stories. You're a brilliant writer.
    Linda from Texas

  50. I am so sad. I found your blog a couple of days ago and just caught up with your writing. I guess now I have no choice but to exercise my patience. I have loved every chapter and can't wait for more. I hope you enjoy your vacation. :-)

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  52. As I did with the 50 Shades books, I find myself reading your chapters multiple times. I'm a sucker for a love story/happy ending/fairy tale. I'm looking for mine. I can't thank you enough for sharing your wonderful writing talent in Christian's POV. Absolutely love it! THANK YOU!! Hope you have enjoyed your vacation.

  53. I love that Christian kept Ana close to him showing Elena that shes part of his life now.Great chapter,loved it x


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