23 November 2012

Chapter 45 - Leila


It’s been a good morning. Work wise, it has been satisfyingly productive, and I've had fun bantering with Anastasia by email. 

Shit, she even had me spewing my coffee all over my keyboard like some kind of an idiot, when I read her email about all the kinky places we've fucked. I was in a meeting at the time with two stuffy banking executives, but as they were really keen to do business with me, they made no comment when I made some lame excuse about my coffee going down the wrong way.

I’m sure as hell enjoying having so much Martini sex - any time, any place, anywhere. Beats the fuck out of the week day celibacy rule I always imposed with my subs, and maybe having so much sex accounts for the fact that I find myself less tense and generally much more relaxed these days, despite all the havoc that Leila’s unpredictable behavior has caused. 

And Ana seemed to get a buzz out of the fact that I never used to have sex during the week with my subs – it's only been with her. Another of our memorable firsts.

Luckily Ana remembered to use her cell this morning for that email, or I’d have had to get Barney to work his ‘make embarrassing emails disappear’ magic again. Good job most of the time he’s away with the fairies on another planet, one specially designed for computer geeks and nerds. I swear they are a separate species from the rest of humanity. Just as well under the circumstances.

Even Elena’s blackmailing problem turned out to be nothing more than her sub, Isaac, trying to surprise her by taking the initiative to set up a new and very imaginative scene. I’m not sure that Elena appreciated his efforts though, poor boy. 

But he may well enjoy the extreme measures that she will no doubt be planning to use to reward him. Remembering some of the ‘rewards’ she gave me, I sure hope he’s a masochist with a very high pain threshold.

I’m not exactly thrilled about the fact that Katherine Kavanagh’s brother is due back today, because the last thing I want is Ana spending time with this good looking Ethan guy. I remember seeing them together at the graduation ceremony, where it was pretty obvious they knew each other well. 

I don’t like this, because naturally it makes me very jealous. I want to be the only man in Ana’s life, the only one she is close to. However, she has promised to let me know when Ethan’s made contact about getting the key for the apartment from her, so we’ll take it from there. 

In any case, Sawyer has been given the full Intel on Ethan, to enable him to recognize him if he turns up. He is under strict instructions to let me know, and not to let Ana leave alone with him under any circumstances.

I’m pleased that Ana is finally being less defiant and more cooperative about her personal security, meaning that she calls straight away to tell me she has to go get lunch for that lazy fucker Hyde. I take her call, even though I’m in the middle of a meeting with six of the guys from the environmental science department of WSU, who are updating me with all the latest promising developments in their research. 

I take great delight in telling them that this call is from my girlfriend, and then watch the incredulous looks on their faces. So I’m guessing Ana was correct in her assertion that they probably all thought I was gay. Well now they, along with the rest of the world, know that I most certainly am not. It’s actually fun outing myself like this – coming out of the closet as straight, not gay.

I ignored her earlier suggestion that I let her contact Sawyer direct. I always like hearing her sweet voice, and of course I much prefer to know firsthand what’s going on with her, instead of hearing it from one of the security detail. 

I need to talk to Sawyer in any case, as he and Taylor have been monitoring the covert surveillance footage of the SIP office. Unfortunately, it is not proving to be all that useful as it can only record limited angles, and that fucker Hyde moves around a lot. It’s almost as if he suspects he’s being watched – he’s one very cagey individual, and already seems to have somehow picked up something about the takeover at SIP.  

In any case, I’m relieved when Sawyer reports that he has returned from safely escorting Ana down to the nearest delicatessen at lunchtime.

It’s not until nearly three in the afternoon that Ana finally emails me to say that Ethan has arrived back in Seattle, and is going to call in to collect the apartment keys from her at the office. She wants to make sure he gets settled in okay, and suggests we go check in on him after I collect her from work, and then all go out to dinner together, her treat. Yeah right, as if I’d let her pay, for fuck’s sake.

But at least she’s not suggesting that she meet him alone, so I go along with her plans, apart from her paying. See, I can compromise and play nice. But for Christ's sake, she’s already forgotten about using her secure cell to email, which pisses me off. But I can't stay angry at her for long. I never can.

About half an hour later, Sawyer reports that Ethan Kavanagh has called into the reception of SIP to collect the keys, before heading off again. I’m not impressed by the surveillance pictures he’s taken, because of the way the kid impudently gives Ana a big bear hug, and then kisses her cheek. She’s mine, so get your filthy hands off her, Kavanagh.

But my spirits are restored as soon as I see Ana walking towards me when we collect her after work.  She looks just as delectable now as she did this morning, in the fitted blue linen shift dress and sexy high heeled sandals. I get a real high when I see her in the classy clothes I've picked out for her, so now I really want to buy her some more, if I can only persuade her to let me.

On the way over to the apartment, I hand Ana the times that Claude can fit her into his schedule for some one-to-one training. I'm stoked that she has agreed to have some sessions, and I know she'll be in safe hands with him. 

She really needs to work on building up her stamina – I worry because she gets worn out so easily. I know I'm very demanding, because I could easily fuck her all night long, but I have to restrain myself as I know she needs her sleep. 

Also, I'm hoping that some extra exercise will help to increase her appetite, and therefore improve her diet, as I suspect she has yet to regain the weight she lost after we broke up.

Ros calls me just as we arrive at the apartment building. I take the call, as the shipyard deal in Taiwan that we’re currently negotiating is at a highly critical juncture, and I don’t want things to go sour now, not after working on the deal for months, although I don’t doubt we will still be working on it for many months to come yet. 

I had intended to escort Anastasia into the building, but now I’m distracted by this phone call, so I let her go in alone to collect Ethan, assuming she’ll only be gone a minute. I’m surprised, as well as somewhat annoyed, when Ana doesn't reappear with the kid after just a minute or two, even after I've finished the call with Ros. 

What on earth can she be doing with him? After another couple of minutes pass, I look over at Taylor. Worry begins to creep into my mind.

“The apartment was definitely secure when it was checked earlier, right?”

“Checked it myself, sir, rather than delegate it to anyone else,” he assures me, but I see a look of concern grow on his face as the minutes pass.

Then we see the Kavanagh kid arrive and get his key out to unlock the door.

Fucking hell.”  

Taylor leaps out of the car the same instant as me, as we both realize what this means, because if he’s out here with the key, then who the fuck has buzzed Ana into the apartment? 

It has to be Leila. Despite all my supposed security and over the top protectiveness, I have just casually let Anastasia walk right into a deadly trap. How could I have been so fucking careless and stupid? 

Right now, she could be lying on the floor, fatally wounded. If that is the case, I might as well turn the gun on myself, because I won’t be able to live with myself. All I can do is get to her as fast as I possibly can, and hope that we are in time.

Taylor leaps on Ethan to grab the key from him, and then forces his way into the building.

“What the fuck…” The kid is taken by surprise and tries to fight back, but I push him out of the way as I run in.

“I’m going in first, Taylor,” I insist, as we both race upstairs to the apartment. 

I feel sheer panic and cold fear washing over me. We haven’t heard any gunshots, but if Leila has a silencer on her gun, I’m not sure that we would have done. The nightmare picture of Anastasia with a bullet through her heart forces its way into my head, but I push it away again. I can't let myself think of that.

“No, sir, it’s too risky. If it is the Williams woman in there, she’s most likely armed.”

“I’m well aware of that, but I know how to handle her.”

“Mr. Grey, it is my responsibility to ensure your safety…”

 “Look, there’s no time to argue, you’re just going to have to trust me on this, when I tell you that I believe she will do exactly as I command her – but that she will respond only to me.”

Taylor stares at me for a few seconds, before he reluctantly nods his consent. During the years that he has worked for me, he must have gained enough insight about the dynamics of a D/s relationship to have faith in what I'm saying.

 “But how the fuck could she have gotten in, when you said you personally checked the apartment and it was secure?” I ask in frustration, and he looks ashen faced in horror.

“I have no fucking idea, sir. It was definitely secure; I checked and rechecked it to be sure. I couldn't miss anything that obvious, it’s just not possible. I’d never take a chance with Miss Steele’s safety.  I can only think the Williams woman somehow got hold of Miss Steele’s keys when she was in your apartment, and got a copy made. She’s certainly proving to be one fucking devious and cunning young woman,” he growls furiously, as we reach the top of the stairs.

I’m literally sick with fear, but I keep myself under control. I have to believe that Anastasia is okay, that I can handle Leila to get the situation safely under control, and that she will respond to me, rather than Taylor. I'm certain it’s our best hope. 

If I let him take control, I'm worried his training will mean he'll shoot Leila first and ask questions later. I sense he's become very protective of Ana, which is commendable, but in this situation I think it could cause him to overreact in a trigger happy way, with potentially horrific consequences. 

I don't want anyone shot, but most especially Ana, and with bullets flying around, who knows what could happen.  Taylor and I have never seen eye to eye about guns. All I want is for a safe resolution to this nightmare - one that has been brought about by my previous choice of lifestyle.

This is your punishment, Grey. For daring to think a sick, perverted bastard like you could ever deserve the love of a pure, innocent girl like Anastasia. You've had a taste of how good life could be with her, and now it’s all going to be snatched away from you, making your life a thousand times darker than it ever was before, because now you know what you will be missing. It’s only what you deserve, even if Ana has to be the one to pay for your wickedness. You are the one whose actions pushed Leila over the edge, to make her unbalanced enough to attack Anastasia.

I take a deep breath, and push the apartment door open, bracing myself for what I might find. Taylor is right behind me, impatient to gain access, still very reluctant to concede to my wish to enter first.
Fuck. Nightmare scenario.

Leila is in the apartment, and she is standing there pointing a gun at Anastasia.



 But it could be worse. At least Ana’s still alive. I quickly scan her from top to toe to make sure I'm not missing anything, and that she doesn't have any injury that isn't immediately obvious, but she seems fine. 

I'm beyond relieved, but now I have to concentrate my full attention on Leila, because she is still armed and still very unpredictable.  Anastasia is still at risk, and I can't afford to take any chances.

Leila turns her gaze on me. She looks terrible; haunted, listless, ghostly pale, very thin and filthy dirty, wearing a horrid, over-sized coat. What the fuck has happened to bring her to this? Did I do this to her? Did I dominate her spirit so badly that she never properly recovered from my treatment of her?

It is always the first and foremost duty of a Dominant to ensure the well being of his submissive. It is his top priority and one that I’ve always taken extremely seriously indeed.

I know that Leila was an experienced sub when we contracted our arrangement, and that she went into it with her eyes wide open, because I always made sure my contracts were crystal clear. I know in the end she wanted more from me, but I thought she accepted that wasn't possible, and she certainly showed no sign of being overly distressed when our contract came to an end and she left. And when Elena informed me that Leila had gotten married, I assumed she had happily moved on and that chapter was most definitely closed.

As Leila’s eyes meet mine, I can immediately sense that she is still the same natural born submissive she was when I was her Dominant. I hold up my hand to prevent Taylor from storming in. I've got this. A softly, softly approach is what’s needed to get the situation under control, so he will just have to contain his undoubted fury and frustration, and put his gun back in the holster where it belongs.

Leila dips her head slightly, as she looks up at me through her lashes, a look I remember well. What has happened to that pretty, mischievous young woman I knew before, to bring her to this emotional crisis? 

My priority now is to get her back under control, so I pull myself up to my full height, and concentrate to get into my Dominant mindset.  It’s an attitude, a way of commanding another person with just the slightest expression or look. A natural Dominant like me does it as easily as breathing, and being such a natural submissive, Leila instinctively responds without hesitation.

“Kneel,” I quietly command her. Leila instantly observes the time honored submissive ritual of presenting herself. She drops to her knees, bows her head and lets the gun fall to the floor in order to place her hands and forearms perfectly in the correct position, flat on her thighs.

I hear Taylor’s sigh of relief as I pick up the gun, and stow it safely in my pocket.

What people outside the BDSM community fail to understand is that Leila needs and welcomes my control, because it means that she doesn't have to think for herself anymore. She can hand responsibility over to me to deal with everything for her. 

This is what she has been craving from me, why she has been trying to get my attention in her own bizarre way – it has all been a cry for help. She knows that as her Master, I will take care of all her worries and troubles. This is what she needs from me, why she has turned to me. 

But in her highly confused state of mind, I believe she has seen Ana as an obstacle to getting my help, and it goes a long way to explaining why she has acted threateningly towards her.

I see a small smile of relief play on Leila’s lips as she gives herself over to my control.

“Anastasia, go with Taylor,” I command. I need her taken out of here, I need to know she is safe and out of harm’s way.

“Ethan,” Ana whispers. What? I realize she has no idea where the kid is, so I briefly fill her in.

“Downstairs.” All the while, I watch Leila closely. I need to keep that link with her, to keep her under control, at least until Ana is out of danger. Then I can get on with making arrangements for her to get the professional help she is in such desperate need of.  

I glance over at Ana. She looks deathly pale, as if she is about to pass out – I think she’s in a state of shock. I really need her to get out of here to safety, but she seems rooted to the spot.

“Anastasia.” I try again, but she still doesn't move or respond. “For the love of God, Anastasia, will you do as you’re told for once in your life and go!”

But it’s as if she is unable to respond, as if she can't take in what is happening.

“Taylor. Take Miss Steele downstairs. Now.”

“Why?” Ana whispers to me, her blue eyes huge in her sweet little face. I think she is on the verge of totally freaking out, but I just need her to fucking well obey me for once. I need to know that she is safely out of the way, so I can get on with dealing with all this shit. It’s my mess to clear up, not hers, so she doesn't need to be involved.

“Go. Back to the apartment. I need to be alone with Leila.”  Please Ana. Let me deal with this so we can go back to how things were. The quicker you go, the quicker it can all be dealt with.

“Miss Steele. Ana.” Taylor can see that Ana is barely keeping it together, so he holds out his hand to encourage her to go with him, but still she stands there, frozen to the spot.

“Taylor,” I urge him, so he picks her up in his arms, and thank fuck Ana offers no resistance, as he finally carries her away to safety. 

I want her as far away from this gun as possible. I need her safe and secure away from here back in Escala.

~~~

“Your Master will look after you now,” I tell Leila, as I gently stroke her head to reassure her.

“Master is very benevolent,” she whispers, keeping her eyes downcast.

“You may look at me,” I command. She slowly looks up at me with her brown eyes, which look dull and slightly vacant, as if the life has gone out of them. It’s eerie and unnerving. And yet, there it is again, that little smile playing around her mouth.

“It displeases me that you have been neglecting yourself. We must correct this omission.”

“Whatever my Master wishes.”

 I remember how disgusting and soul destroying it felt when I was a neglected, filthy and unkempt child, and how incredibly good it felt to have a hot bath and some clean clothes.  I decide this is what Leila needs, what I can do for her until I can get hold of Dr. Flynn to take over.

I hurriedly look around to refresh my memory of the apartment's layout, as I have only been here with Ana once before.

“Come. Follow me,” I instruct, as I hold out my hand to help her up. Her small hand feels icy cold, as I lead her to the bathroom.

“Wait there,” I command, as I start running the bath, and then search in the small cabinet to try and find some kind of bubble bath or oil. There’s some nice, expensive looking bubble bath which smells pretty good, and also some shampoo from the same range. I suspect it is Kate’s rather than Ana’s, but right now that is not important – I’ll ensure it’s replaced. 

As I pour copious amounts in the bath, a refreshing and pleasing aroma fills the bathroom. Leila just stands quietly in the corner, watching me. My plan is that once she is safely soaking and feeling relaxed by the warm water, I’ll get hold of Flynn, and then try asking her a few questions while we wait for him.

However, right now I realize that Taylor has returned, and he’s standing in the doorway, clearing his throat to subtly try and get my attention, so I go and talk to him just outside the bathroom.

“What the fuck are you doing here? When I ordered you to take Miss Steele back to Escala, naturally I expected you to stay there with her,” I state through gritted teeth. Surely I shouldn't have to spell this out to him?

He looks very uncomfortable.

“Well, sir, the thing is, Miss Steele… she declined to return to Escala.”

“She fucking what? What the fuck do you mean, she declined to return?”

“She advised me that she was going for a drink with Mr. Kavanagh. She was very upset, and I think her friend suggested it to try and calm her down. When I reminded her of your instruction to return straight to Escala, she insisted that as Miss Williams no longer posed a security threat, there was no reason for her not to go out, and no reason for me to escort her either. She said that she would see you later.”

I glance back at Leila, who is still obediently standing exactly as I told her to, with maybe a slightly larger smile now. My life would be so much easier if Anastasia would just occasionally be as compliant as one of my subs. 

But as I let out a sigh, I know this is no longer what I want. An obedient but boring submissive, who wouldn't dream of answering me back, or sending me cheeky emails, or giggling at me. I also know it is no good venting my frustration on Taylor. He has no authority over Ana unless she agrees to his protection. He’s been caught between a rock and a hard place, knowing that I would be furious, but unable to force Ana to do as I want.

I reach in my pocket for my cell to call her and tell her in no uncertain terms to stop acting so irresponsibly, and get the fuck back to the apartment.

“I… um… I’m afraid you won’t be able to reach her via her cell, Mr. Grey. I noticed she left her purse in the back of the car earlier.”

I roll my eyes and run my hands through my hair in frustration.

“For fuck’s sake, this whole pile of shit just gets better and better. I guess I’ll just have to hope that by the time we've made all the necessary arrangements for Miss Williams, Miss Steele will have finished her drink with her friend. For her sake, she’d better fucking well be back at Escala by the time I return.”

 “Yes, sir. I’m sure that will be the case. She did say it would just be a quick drink,” Taylor hurriedly agrees.

It seems there is nothing more I can do about that situation at the moment, and I have to concentrate on the matter in hand – Leila.

“I’m going to get Miss Williams to take a bath, so as you’re here, you can make yourself useful, Taylor. Get hold of Dr. Flynn, explain the situation to him, and ask him to get over here as soon as he can. He promised he would make himself available to examine her as soon as we managed to track her down.”

“Yes, Mr. Grey,” Taylor seems relieved as he makes his way out, glad to be given a task that hopefully he can actually complete. 

This afternoon has been a total fucking disaster for him so far, and I think he probably wonders if he still has a job, considering he’s had to tell me that Ana has gone walkabout against my express wishes, after the fiasco of Leila gaining access to the supposedly secure apartment that he had personally swept only a short while before. 

But I'm not ready to fire him just yet. Sometimes circumstances conspire against the best of intentions.

Now I turn my attention back to Leila, as I close the bathroom door behind me to give her some privacy from Taylor. I shut off the faucet, now that the deep bath is full of steaming hot, fragrant water.

“Undress then get into the bath,” I order her, and she immediately slips off the grubby over sized trench coat she’s wearing. It looks like a man’s coat to me – perhaps it belonged to the guy she left her husband for, the one that got killed?

Underneath, the clothes she’s wearing are no better. A sweater that is much too big, that again could be a man’s. It has several stains on it, as well as a hole in the sleeve. Her jeans are hanging off her, and because they are much too long, the bottoms are all frayed and dirty. Her sneakers were probably once white, but are now grey and grubby looking, and as she pulls them off, I notice that the sole is coming away from the uppers on one of them.

As she unzips her jeans, I turn my back to give her some privacy.

 “Does Master not enjoy watching me undress? Does this displease my Master in some way?” Leila asks quietly.

“It displeases me to see you in clothes that are not clean and do not fit you, and that you have neglected your well being.”

I glance back at her, and see that she is now in just her bra and panties. She is painfully thin, and it’s obvious that she has lost weight since she was my sub, although she was, of course, very slender before. Your subs were always tiny little brown haired girls, weren't they, Grey? And of course you know why that was, you sick, perverted bastard.

“Hurry up and get undressed so that you can get in the bath,” I instruct her impatiently as I turn away, but once I hear the sound of the water sloshing as she gets in, I turn back to look at her. The deep water and bubbles are covering her body up to her neck now.

“What happened to you? Explain how you came to be in such a sorry state. You may speak freely.”

“Alone. I’m all alone,” she whispers, as a tear rolls down her cheek.

I grab hold of her arm and look at the marks from where she tried to slash her wrist.

“Why did you do this? Answer me.”

“I… I don’t know. I can’t really remember,” she murmurs, barely speaking above a whisper.

“You left your husband, is that right, Leila?”

“Yes. He was not a good man. He was not my Master. Stephen did not care for me. He was not my one true love.”

I recall how unhelpful the man was to us when we were trying to track Leila down, knowing she was ill and in need of medical help. Even then the bastard didn't have the common decency to help her.

“You left him for another man, didn't you?” I pick up the sponge, and start to gently wash her arms and shoulders.

“Yes. Master Christopher. He was such a good man. He was just like you, even his name was nearly the same as yours. Except he let me use his given name, unlike you, Master.”

I get her to lean forward so that I can wash her back for her, as I brush her shoulder length hair out of the way.

“That was not our agreement, Leila, you know that. So, was Christopher your new Master, your new Dominant?”

“Yes. He was my one true love. It felt so good, so right to have him take care of me and look after me, and tell me what to do. I was so happy to obey him in every single way. And then one day, there was a terrible car accident, and he was gone, taken away from me. And I'm alone now, all alone, and I don’t know how to do it. 
So I thought Master could help. But then I saw her with you.  We look the same, but I found out that Master lets her sleep in his bed, even though she is not obedient like me. I never slept in Master’s bed. She is allowed to make Master laugh and smile. She is even rude and disrespectful to Master, and yet he does not seem to mind or punish her for her disobedience. So what does she have that I don’t?”

“I've changed Leila. Anastasia is not my submissive, and I am not her Master, because that’s no longer the kind of relationship I want. And I think that you have been so affected by your grief for Christopher, that you are transposing your feelings for him onto me, to try and find a way to cope.  Even though I am no longer your Master, I am going to get you the help that you need. You will get through this, I promise, as long as you do exactly what I tell you to do.”

“I knew Master would help me,” she smiles up at me.

“Here, finish cleaning yourself, then I’ll wash your hair for you,” I tell her, as I pass her the sponge. It wouldn't feel right for me to wash her most private areas – it would seem as if I was taking advantage of her somehow. I no longer have the right to touch her intimately. 

What I have done so far is purely one human being caring for another, but there is a limit. I must respect her privacy and dignity. I have no other feelings for her. There has been no sexual aspect whatsoever to my bathing her.

As Leila washes herself, Taylor knocks on the bathroom door, so I go to find out what he wants, pulling the door close to behind me.

“Dr. Flynn will be here in about half an hour or so, along with an assistant. Once he’s completed his assessment of Miss Williams, so long as he’s satisfied that the right course of action is to get her admitted, he says they’ll take her to the clinic, as discussed with you previously.”

“Good. That’s a relief to know he’s on his way,” I let out a big sigh, as I scrub my fingers over my eyes.

“How does she seem? Is she in any way volatile?” Taylor inquires, as he inclines his head towards the bathroom.

“No, not at all. She’s just messed up with grief for the guy who got killed, I think. But what do I know? We’ll just have to wait and see what Flynn makes of her when he gets here. He’s the fucking expert, not me.”

I return to the bathroom, and pick up the shampoo bottle, as Leila smiles up at me.

“Feeling a bit better now, I hope?” I ask, and she nods.

“Yes, Master. Not so cold and alone now.”

Hearing a woman address me as Master brings back so many memories. I used to fucking love it, but now the thought of Anastasia referring to me in that way is no longer so appealing. 

Maybe that’s because I love hearing her call me 'Christian', especially when we’re making love. I frown as I recall that I don’t actually know where Ana is at the moment, other than that she is out drinking somewhere with the Kavanagh kid. 

I just have to trust that she will be waiting for me when I get back to the apartment later. As she pointed out to Taylor, at least I know that Leila is no longer a threat to her. The nerve of Ana standing up to Taylor like that – but what pisses me off too is the fact that part of me is kind of impressed that she did. 

It seems she is not prepared to let anyone order her around, contrary to the initial impression I got of her being so shy and compliant. How wrong was I?

“Is something the matter, Master?” Leila says when she sees me frowning.

“No, nothing for you to worry about. Now, just lean back so I can wash your hair for you.”

I gently lather up the shampoo in Leila’s hair, and I try to put all thoughts of Ana out of my mind, as there is nothing I can do about that situation for now.

As I rinse off her hair, I realize I can't put Leila back into the filthy clothes she was wearing before. She is pretty much the same size as Ana, so the logical solution is to use some of her clean clothes that must still be in her room.

I grab one large towel and one smaller one from the towel rail.

“You may get out of the bath now and dry yourself, while I fetch some clean clothes for you. Make sure you dry your hair as much as possible with the smaller towel, then wrap yourself up in the big towel so that you don’t get cold,” I order Leila, as I put the towels within her reach by the edge of the bath.

“As you wish, Master.”

Then I make for Ana’s room across the hallway, and look for some clean underwear. There’s nothing very special in her chest of drawers, so I pick out a plain white bra and panty set. At least it’s clean and should fit reasonably well I think. Nothing as nice as the silk and lace underwear you’ve bought for Ana, Grey

Next I look in her meager closet. I thought most girls had overflowing closets, but not Ana it seems. There’s really not a lot of choice, so I pick out a pair of jeans, along with a sweat shirt, that I see from the labels come from Old Navy.

I know that Ana has a very kind and generous nature, so I don’t think she would object to me taking these clothes to dress Leila in, not if she could see the bewildered state the poor girl is in, because I’m sure she would feel the same compassion for another human being that I do. In any case, I intend replacing these clothes of hers with far nicer ones, so she will have no further need of them.

When I return to the bathroom, Leila has done exactly as instructed, and is standing there wrapped in the towels, patiently waiting for me, as if she is totally unable to think for herself. She needs me to tell her exactly what to do, every step of the way it seems.

“Dress yourself in these clothes, and then brush your hair through,” is my next order, as I hand her the clothes, and point to a hairbrush on the shelf. Just as I'm doing this, I hear a knock on the apartment door and Taylor’s voice as he lets Dr. Flynn in.

Thank fuck, the cavalry has arrived.

I make my way out to see him.

“John, good of you to get here so quickly.”

“No problem, Christian. And this is Sylvia Phillips. She’s a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner from the Fremont Hospital. I brought her along to chaperone and assist if required.”

Leila was taken to the Harborview Medical Center before when she attempted to slash her wrists. It’s just a shame she discharged herself before they could properly diagnose her, but hopefully now that John is involved that won’t be happening again, as he's told me that the Fremont specializes in treating psychiatric conditions.

I nod at the middle aged nurse, who is dressed in pale blue scrubs. I hope the sight of a medical professional will not cause any kind of adverse reaction with Leila, seeing as she refused to remain in hospital before.

“Where is she? How does she seem?” John inquires as he looks round.

“She’s just getting dressed. I made her take a bath – she was filthy, in a terribly neglected state. I thought a bath might help her to relax while we were waiting for you.”

“I see. Well, I’d like a consultation with Miss Williams in private, with just Nurse Phillips in attendance, before we make any decision regarding the best course of action for her. It would be completely unethical of me to make even a preliminary diagnosis based purely on second hand anecdotal evidence.”

“Yes, of course. I’ll just go check on her and bring her out.”

I knock on the bathroom door and then enter. Leila has dressed, and is just brushing her hair. It looks nearly dry already – it’s not as long and thick as Ana’s hair. The clothes are only slightly too big for her, and she certainly looks a lot better than she did before.

“Leila, there is someone out here I want you to meet. His name is Dr. Flynn, and he’s come to talk to you and find out how he can help you.”

A look of sheer panic and terror passes over her face. Shit. I fucking knew it, she’s not going to go quietly.

“I only want to talk to my one true Master. Only he can help me.”

“It is my wish that you speak to him and answer his questions. You will obey me in this matter. It is for the best, Leila.” I use my cold, commanding Dominant voice, and I see her look down in response.

I don’t like using my power as a Dom to force her to do something against her will, but this is truly in her best interests. She badly needs help, and as I entrust Flynn with the onerous responsibility of looking after my own sanity, I don’t see how I could put her in any safer hands, although of course Leila doesn't know this.

“Master is giving me away, when I have only just found him again? Have I displeased you that much? Please, I only want to stay with you, to serve you. I’m begging you, Master.” She looks up at me with tears in her eyes.

“You serve me best by doing as I say. I am not giving you away, I am taking care of you in the best way possible.  You will be safe, you will be looked after and you will soon feel better.”

“No!” Leila sobs, as she falls to her knees to try and present herself as my sub, but I grab her to pull her to her feet.

“Just come with me, please Leila.” I lead her out to the living area, as she continues to weep.

“It’s because of her, isn't it? We look the same, so what has she got that I haven't?” Leila is panicking and clinging to my arm now, and I look over at Flynn to get some clue about what I should do next, because I’m completely out of my depth here.

 “Miss Williams – or may I call you Leila? I understand from Mr. Grey that you have been feeling rather sad lately. So I thought we could have a little chat, find out what’s been going on with you recently, see if we can’t find a way to sort out a few things for you, to make you feel a bit happier. Why don’t you come and sit over here?” Flynn says in his cool, calm British accent, as he smiles at her from where he’s standing. 

He’s actually very authoritative and commanding, but in an understated way, and I have to admit that I’m impressed seeing him in action with someone other than myself.

He indicates that she should sit on the sofa, and Leila seems taken aback as she looks up at him. 

Maybe it’s because Flynn’s a tall, good looking guy. Maybe it’s because Flynn exudes a very calm aura around him. Maybe it’s because she somehow senses she can trust this man. Whatever it is, Flynn works his magic, and Leila calms down, takes a seat on the sofa while he sits opposite her. Nurse Phillips quietly tucks herself away out of sight, in the corner behind Leila.

There is a reason that Doctor John Flynn is considered to be the best there is in his field. He is just a fucking genius at what he does. He’s not a horse whisperer – he’s a crazy whisperer. No wonder I get on so well with him. Taylor and I make ourselves scarce in the kitchen area, and leave them to it.

~~~

“Of course this is only an initial assessment, but Nurse Phillips and I agree that following her recent bereavement, Miss Williams appears to be presenting some classic psychotic symptoms. These were possibly part of a pre-existing condition, but have probably been exacerbated by her severe grief.”

Flynn has joined me in the kitchen to give me his report, while Taylor has gone to clear up the bathroom – I've ordered him to destroy the old clothes Leila was wearing before.

“Pre-existing condition? You mean she could have been sick even when she was with me?”

“Possibly, it’s hard to tell, but I admit I am concerned about the manipulative and underhand lengths she went to, the amount of stalking she undertook to glean such detailed information about your relationship with Anastasia. Christian, she broke into your apartment and concealed herself, so that she could continue to spy on both of you. 
That’s pretty extreme behavior, and no mean task considering the amount of security you have in place, as I’m sure Taylor would agree. And she must have obtained knowledge of how to do that over three years ago, when she was in a relationship with you. So even though her grief has no doubt triggered this reaction, the plan, the intention, must have been there in the background all along.”

“Christ, when you put it like that…”  I’m shocked and horrified. “But can you treat her? Can you make her better?”

“No one can say for sure, of course. But I’m confident that in time, with the right therapy and counseling, we can redress a lot of her issues. I suggest we admit her initially to the Fremont, but long term, I think she may need to attend a clinic that specializes in complicated cases such as hers. Due to the long term nature of her symptoms, I think this is possibly a lot more than a simple case of a breakdown brought on by extreme grief.”

“Whatever you think is best, John. I want her to get the best possible treatment, money no object.”

“So you are still willing to support her financially? Because I doubt very much she has sufficient medical insurance, if any at all, that would cover this type of treatment, and it could get very costly indeed.”

“No question, of course I am,” I reply indignantly.

“Just had to make sure, Christian. No point in starting her down this road unless she’s going to see it through to the conclusion.”

 “Whatever it takes. I think you know I’m good for a few bucks,” I tell him wryly.

“That I do, Christian. Anyone who is prepared to bid $100,000, just to stop me having the first dance with his girlfriend, must have more money than sense.”

“As I recall, you risked placing a pretty high bid against me, John,” I point out.

“Yes, but the difference was that I always knew my money was safe. There was no risk. You were never going to let me outbid you, were you?”

“Hell, no.  So you gambled all along that you’d not lose your money. I guess you just know me too well, John.”

Our little exchange has helped lighten the atmosphere, but the fact remains that we still have to get Leila to the clinic.

“So, is Leila okay about being admitted?” I ask him tentatively.

“She seems to accept that it is the best course of action for her now. Perhaps if you accompany us to Harborview to get her settled in, that might smooth things along, help to ensure that she doesn't feel abandoned. If you can spare the time, of course, as I know what a busy man you are. Oh, and how is Anastasia taking all this?”

I grimace.

“I’m not sure, to be honest, John. It seems after Taylor got her out of here, she insisted on going walkabout with an old friend, and so now I have no idea where she is at this moment in time, which I fucking hate. I think she kind of went into shock after Leila pulled the gun on her, and all I could think about was getting her out of here, getting her to a place of safety, so I probably didn't handle things as sensitively as I could have done.”

“I see. Well, I’m sure that when all the dust has settled, Anastasia will understand that you were trying to act in her best interests, as well as Leila’s. Not an easy situation for anyone, but Ana strikes me as a reasonable young woman, so I'm sure she’ll be fine in the end."

“Let’s hope so,” I agree.

Before we leave, I tell Taylor to make sure the apartment has been cleared of all evidence of today’s events.  

“By the way, I found this in the pocket of Miss William’s coat, sir.”

He holds up a door key.

“It’s for here?”

He nods slowly, his expression grim.

“Fuck, so she did somehow get a copy. But at least we've got it now.”

“I’d still recommend the locks are changed, sir. If she’s had one copy made, who knows how many others there might be.”

“Good point. Could you please organize that? At least we know that Miss Williams will be in a secure environment for the time being.”

Taylor throws me a skeptical look.

“I wouldn't like to assume we've seen the last of her devious and underhand activities, Mr. Grey. I've made the mistake of underestimating her before, and I don’t intend to make that mistake again. I prefer to be at least one step ahead of any potential trouble.”

It’s clear he’s not a big fan of Leila – she’s got him into too much trouble, so I guess I can't blame him.

“Once the apartment is secure, head on straight back to Escala to confirm that Miss Steele has safely returned there.”

I’m not particularly bothered about where the Kavanagh kid will spend the night – he is big enough to look after himself as far as I'm concerned, especially as it appears he encouraged Ana to go out drinking with him, rather than follow my instructions.

“Of course, sir. I'm sure she will be.”

I think I see him crossing his fingers behind his back. 

Leila willingly lets me wrap her up in a blanket and carry her out to the cruiser that Flynn arrived in. Inside it’s kitted out as non-emergency ambulance transport, with the tinted windows ensuring privacy for patients being discreetly transported for admission to the psychiatric unit. I carefully place Leila onto the couch and strap her in.

“You understand that you are going to be well looked after, don’t you, Leila?” I reassure her.

“Yes, Master,” she whispers, as she looks over at Flynn. Nurse Phillips is driving the vehicle, so Leila has both myself and Flynn monitoring her, as we travel the short distance to Harborview. 

“And you also understand that you must comply with any instructions that Dr. Flynn gives you, just as you would for me,” I order her.

“Yes, Master,” she whispers again, as she continues to wistfully look over at Flynn. You’re wasting your time there, Leila. He’s not a Dom, and he’s happily married.


Once I see that Leila is safely admitted to the clinic, and Flynn gives me the okay to leave, I’m finally free to return to Escala, happy in the knowledge that at long last, we can finally relax about the location of my errant former sub.

Thinking back, I decide that maybe I was a bit hard on Anastasia earlier on, when I ordered her to leave. She’d just had a gun pulled on her, so no wonder she was in a state of shock. I’ll make things up to her when I get back. 

Hopefully Flynn is right, and she'll understand why I acted the way I did. I just need to get back now to smooth things over between us. Hopefully she won’t be pissed at having to wait for me to return.

I call Taylor to come and pick me up, surprised not to have received a call from him confirming Ana is waiting there for me. It’s after nine thirty now; she should have been back a long time ago if she just went for a quick drink as she'd told Taylor, seeing as we first called into the apartment shortly after she finished work at six.

“Miss Steele’s not returned to the apartment yet, sir, so I’m out looking for her,” he confesses.

Shit. Where the fuck has Anastasia gone? I can't even have her tracked, because she hasn't taken her cell. I hate, fucking hate, the fact that I have no idea whatsoever where she is. 

She could be on her way to the airport, she could even be on a plane already, because she’s decided that she can't cope with me and all my fucking baggage any more.

Have I lost her forever this time?

  
I don’t own any of the Fifty Shades Trilogy or the characters therein. They belong to E L James. I’m just borrowing them for fun and not for profit. Please refer to the Legal’s page for further details. This work is not to be copied or reproduced in any way without permission. 

256 comments:

  1. You have made my day! Cannot wait to read this chapter... I know it is going to be great! Keep up the good work!!!

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  2. Love this chapter!!! I couldn't wait til morning to read it so I stayed up til midnight. Can't wait to see what Christian has to say when Ana comes in late after drinking and Christian's proposal! Thank you for continually writing and giving us our Christian fix! I hope you had a wonderful vacation and look forward to more as always.
    Megan

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    1. Hi Megan. Hope you don't feel too tired today after your late night.

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  3. This is what I've been waiting for!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!

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  4. What a great chapter, loved Christians POV with leila in the bathroom and how he turned away when she got undressed, shows he only has eyes for Ana, hope you had a great break glad your back, keep up the amazing writing
    Chez xx

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    1. Hi Chez. I had a great trip, thanks very much. I always love visiting the States.
      Glad you enjoyed the chapter :)

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  5. loved that chapter... your writing is most awesome. eagerly waiting for the next chapter.x.

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    1. Thanks Kathy. The next chapter is going to be an interesting one, that's for sure.

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  6. OMG!!!! its 2:30 am here and I just finished this piece of gold!! I love it!

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    1. Another person who could have bags under their eyes this morning.....

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  7. Awsome loved this chapter...great and I mean GREAT JOB!!!!! Can't wait for the next one

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    1. Thanks, Blanca. Good to know you liked this chapter.

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  8. can't wait for the next chapter!!! this is great!!

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  9. This is one chapter I've really looked forward too ( but I look forward to all of them!) ;) It's terrific! Totally worth the wait. I like too the picture of Lily Collins as Leila. Not a bad choice! A nice bit of late night reading before saying 'nighty night'. Awesome!

    Nan :D

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    1. Hi Nan. I thought Lily had the vulnerable kind of look that would suit Leila, but of course behind that facade she is conniving and deceitful, imo.

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  10. Thank you!!!!! I loved it.

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  11. cant wait for next chapter your so talanted xxx

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  12. Fantastic read as usual. :)

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  13. Oh wow. Absolutely loved that chapter, when I first read Darker months ago, that was 1 scene I couldn't wait to read in Christians pov. You've proven what an amazing writer you are once again.
    Leila is so vindictive and sneaky in she. I'm studying psychology at the moment and have been learning about abnormal behaviour and looking how psychopaths work. You had Leila behaviour perfect, the way you described how her plan started when she was with him, so have always been in the background. Genius!!
    Ooo next we see Christian as a sub when scared he's loosing Ana. Can't wait, I get so excited reading your work.
    Thanks again for you brilliant work x

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    1. Hi Amy - yes I think there is a lot more to Leila than is immediately obvious, far more deep seated issues.

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  14. Okay, that was seriously awesome!
    Originally I really just wanted to quickly check my mails - morning routine - and now I read your chapter though I really should be learning for this stupid exam next friday...
    And the funny thing? I am euphoric! Thank you so much! I loved it!

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    1. Well, I hope you catch up on your swotting for your exam. I don't want to be responsible for holding you back!

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  15. I screamed when I got the email saying a new chapter was posted. Then screamed louder when I saw the title. I loved it.

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    1. Hi Betty. I hope you didn't scare anyone with your screaming!

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    2. No My husband looked at me like I had ten heads but then se saw I was on my ophone so he kind of knew. lol. I love your work. Thankj you so much for sharing with us.

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  16. Welcome back- thank you!!

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    1. It's good to be back. No further trips planned for a while now.

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  17. thank you, this is just fabulous, I've been counting down the days this week! Hope your holiday was a good one.

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    1. My holiday was fab, thanks. Good to get back into the normal routine though :)

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  18. I'm up in the middle of the night feeding my daughter, tired, bored, and slightly irritated she's refusing to go back to sleep. Then I saw your email and it made all the grumpiness go away. Loved this chapter! I'd always wondered how you'd capture it from Christian's POV, and you did it so perfectly! Thank you so much for continuing to write! Hope your weekend is fantastic!

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    1. Babies have an agenda all of their own, don't they? I'm glad the chapter helped pass the time for you anyhow.

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  19. Wow another great chapter can't wait for the next one Thank you for taking time out of your busy like to do this for us thank you lou xx

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  20. Another brilliant chapter! Cant wait for the next one, its my fave in the books! A week seems to looonnnnggg :( xx

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    1. A week doesn't seem that long to me when I need to come up with the writing!

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  21. It just kills me when your chapters come to an end, I need MORE!! Truly appreciate you taking the time, thank you.

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    1. Delayed gratification, is all I can say to you.

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  22. Hope u enjoyed your holiday and thank you for another awesome chapter.

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    1. I had a lovely holiday, thanks. Back to the writing now - I have my own book to write as well as the blog :)

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  23. Loved it as always, but arrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh stopped right before one of my favourite scenes in the book.....its gonna be a long wait for me till the next chapter :( But as always the chapter was amazing.....THANK YOU! :) xx

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    1. Hi Sarah - the chapter had to end somewhere, didn't it? And you have something to look forward to now.

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  24. Happy birthday to meeeeeee! Best bday gift ever!

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  25. What amazing chapter!!!!

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  26. It was interesting to me that Christian and Ana interpreted Leila's smile when Christian yelled at Ana so differently.... Ana I think got it right... For Christian to be so cold hearted and KNOWING all the awful things in detail that Leila's done he keeps giving her the benefit of the doubt.... Keeps regarding her as innocent.... Interesting, right?

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    1. Cold hearted in his mind anyway....

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    2. I think Christian is pretty hopeless at interpreting women. He thought Ana was a natural submissive when he first met her, and was wrong about that. He thinks Elena is his best friend, and we all know the truth about her!And then he feels sorry for Leila, and guilty too, when she is actually manipulating him and being very devious imo.

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    3. Exactly! I think it's his naïveté (love spellcheck....) that makes him vulnerably sexy.... His looks, his sexpertise and his brilliance..... But for someone who can read people so well in business.... He misses the mark on women's emotions and swears he knows all things.... Bless his heart.... He confuses his sexpertise for emotions.... But damn... His sexpertise

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  27. Thank you...Was awesome...LOVED IT!
    Hope you had a great Thanksgiving day...Gobble Gobble

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    1. We don't celebrate Thanksgiving here in the UK, but I hope you had a great time.

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  28. I have been waiting for this chapter and i have not been disappointed! You truly have a way of making the story come alive and i felt like i was there with them the whole time. An amazing gift you have, and i will defiantly buy any book that you write and have published.

    Keep up the excellent work..... :-)

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    1. Thanks. I'm working on my own book, and I'll be sure to let everyone know when it will be available.

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  29. What a fantastic chapter!!!
    You have really outdone yourself this time, it just gets better and better with each chapter. just reading one of your replies, you're working on your own book...what type of book is it, as in crime, romance etc? Either way, i'm sure it will be great:)
    Alanna

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    1. Hi Alanna. My book will be an erotic romance, the same genre as Fifty Shades, but a completely different story obviously. I'm having great fun writing it:)

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  30. I loved waking up to a chapter from you. Let alone one of my favorite parts of this story. Your writing gives this story so much power. You give us what we want and never disappoint. I can't wait until chapter 46 when you tell the most intimate part of the story. UGH! I can't wait. X.

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  31. LOVE IT! Reading this helped time pass while I was standing outside in line freezing at 3:30 am.....Thanks so so Much! can't wait for the next one :)

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    1. Hi Rebecca - I hope you got some great bargains after waiting in line at that hour!

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  32. Good morning, Mr. Grey,what a lovely surprise to wake up to another wonderful chapter! Thank you!I'll read it with my breakfast. Have a beautiful weekend!

    You're amazing!

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    1. Hi Ellie - how are you doing? Hope you have a great weekend too :)

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  33. Just brilliant. This chapter was so interesting to me because it's from Christian's perspective. I especially liked you explanation of why he needed to give her a bath, and why Leila needed him to be her Master again. She even looked at Flynn for the same need.

    It was all cleverly done, and made me like Christian even more. I hope you can hear my claps over in England.

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    1. Didn't hear the applause, but then my hearing is not the greatest!
      I see Leila as the kind of female who depends on a man to make her feel worthwhile, and who wouldn't be drawn to a wonderful figure of authority like the good Doctor Flynn?

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    2. It's like the look Leila gave Ana when Christian yelled at Ana to leave.... She was satisfied with herself & Ana being put out. That 1 smile said... Gotcha! Ana read it but Christian saw it differently.... That poor baby! He's clueless.... Leila's messed up but Flynn had to spell it out for him & he's been dealing with this mess for weeks... Hell... Even her suicide attempt should have clued him in but he focused on her broken bird syndrome & didn't see the bigger picture...which is why Leila had her way with him...even in the end... She ended it all on her terms when she manipulated seeing him and then said his given name when she said goodbye... Especially when she got under Ana's skin when she said "This is the Christian I know" or something like that... Topping from the bottom.... Seems like she was the master and Christian was the submissive... She manipulated everything .... She may not have gotten him in the end but he's still taking care of her so she's still connected to him and winning....

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  34. it was absolutely awesome! can't wait for the next one, i know its gonna just as great.. thank you soooooo much!!! i really love how you try to put a little humor on it by including a subconscious side of Mr Grey... :)

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    1. Thanks, Cristina. I think Christian has a very dry sense of humor maybe.

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  35. Thank you so much for sharing Christian's point of view. It's refreshing and interesting to read the other side of the story. I can't wait for the next chapter =)

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    1. Hi Rosie. It's interesting for me to write the other side too.

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  36. What can I say that hasn't already been said........awesome, fantastic, creative, passionate, emotional, inspiring. Thank goodness for my weekly fix Sir I don't know where I would be without it and you. The proposal what a thought for next week. I wait expectantly!

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  37. OMG!!!! That is totally amazing!! OMG! Have been waiting for this for so long! LOVE it from his POV, got to read more stuff and get an inside scoop. Wow, you are simply amazing and never stop! Thank you so very much!! It was so creative and beautiful! Ugh, thank you! <3

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    1. Thanks Samantha. No plans to stop at the moment :)

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  38. Replies
    1. been waiting not so patiently ALL week. Can't wait for the passage of time(can't believe I said that since I just turned 50). Look forward to next week, if you have TIME....I know you have a life, but this is SO MUCH FUN FOR US/

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  39. Please forgive any mistakes...I speak French and writing English is a lot of work for me!
    I remember waiting so eagerly for the last update of MOTU a long time ago...Well, it's the same frenzy all over again....elevated heartbeat, tunnel vision and all!! Maybe a bit worse in fact!
    I love your writing so much, I was often irritated with the interaction Ana and Christian had in the trilogy. There was so much left out and it was so illogical to have 2 intelligent people clearly unable to suceed at basic communication....Your very structured, logical and beautiful side of the story more than made up for that. Can't wait for next week!

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    1. Your English is very good indeed, far better than my French, that's for sure.

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  40. AMAZING KEEP UP THE GREAT WRITING...LOVE YOUR WORK.X

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  41. Welldone on yet an another amazing chapter. Followed you since the summer and cannot get enough! Please hurry with the next chapter:)

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    1. Thanks for following so loyally, Kristen. Means a lot to me :)

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  42. Awesome chapter! I really love Flynn and how he states the obvious that doesnt seem so obvious for Christian. *Eagerly* waiting for the next one :D

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    1. Hi Annie. I agree about Flynn - Christian just seems to need someone to point all these obvious matters to him, I guess because he is really just an adolescent in so many ways.

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  43. AWESOME!!!! Thanks a lot.... I love this chapter <3

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  44. This chapter is excellant! I soo look forward to Fridays when I receive thi s email :) Can't Wait till next weekend...I will be counting down the days! Thank you again, wonderful job!

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  45. Thanks, THANKS, THANKS!!!!! Christian, you are the best!!!!!
    Had my fingers crossed for an update, you made a great part of my day!!!
    Hope you had a great time on your holidays, keep the energy up!

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  46. You have nailed Christian's character. I would readily believe that this was written by the original author, seamlessly in line with Christian's voice and personality. Well done! I feel as though I am reading FSOG again through different eyes.

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  47. Your interpretation of Christian and Leila and everyone is so spot on- it is such a pleasure to read your work. Thanks for doing this and giving us more of this story.

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  48. I always wondered how he handled the "bath". I also think he was entirely too focused on Leila to think what Ana felt having a gun pulled on her.

    I look forward to the all the next chapters... they should be GREAT!

    Thanks for all your hard work and creativity.

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    1. I guess Christian was just relieved to finally have caught up with Leila, and so wanted to deal with her. But seeing it through Ana's eyes, he is pretty insensitive, which plays directly into her insecurities.

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  49. Welcome back from your vacation. This was an awesome chapter. I loved learning all about Leila. I am so looking forward to the upcoming chapters as these were my favorite from book 2. Thank you so much for your blog. I look forward to it every week. Thanks again.

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  50. I have been following your brilliant work for quite a while and this is the first time I post a comment here, because I am worried about my poor grammar and spelling since I just immigrated to the US two years ago and English is not my mother language. I just wanted to express my gratitude for your exquisite interpretation of FSOG from Christian’s viewpoint. This chapter contains one of the most intense scenes from the book as it ultimately leads to Christian’s breakdown in front of Ana. I so enjoy this chapter as I now have a more clear understanding of the reasons behind Christian’s course of action in the Leila incident. Thank you so much for keeping me high-spirited on the Thanksgiving weekendand and I look forward to the confrontation between Christian and Ana!

    From Romancefifty

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    1. Hi Romancefifty - welcome and thanks for taking the time to comment - your grammar and spelling turned out just fine :)

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    2. You should post more often.. I loved reading your eloquent words.... Plus it will help you feel more confident about your English.... I thought you wrote well...

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  51. Absolutely amazing. So well written . I rather read this than the originAl fifty shades trilogy. I've told all my friends about it and they love.it also. Can't wait for the next chapter.

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  52. omg!! I have been constantly checking & rechecking my email as well as the blog site for this new chapter!!! Thank u so much!! reading it always makes my day! you are an incredible writer and I am soo glad I found your blog..so that I'm able to continue to get my 50 shades fix lol!!
    I hope you enjoyed your holiday/vacation!! but, I have to say...i'm so glad your back ;)

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  53. I love that you give us Christian's POV!! I look forward to each new scene you bring to life. I'm glad you had a good trip here to the U.S. Looking forward to the next installment. Keep up the great work. Heather

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    1. I had a great trip to the US - I always love it there :)

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  54. I always look forward to updates, and you never disappoint! Excellent chapter, and I can't wait for the next one!

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  55. Love it can't wait for the next chapter thank u

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  56. Loving it!!! Made my day!!!

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  57. OMG! You are brillant! Love this journey you are taking us on with our beloved Christian and Ana!
    Excellent! So glad you are back! Hope you had a great vacation and Thanksgiving!
    Please keep it coming........this is amazing! As are you!!!!!!!!

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  58. I am so happy I found this blog. I actually like more than the original. The original set the beautiful story but you have filled in details so perfectly. I'm hooked. I will follow your writing wherever you go Master. What's not to love about Christian???

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    1. Thanks Denise. It's great fun for me filling in the details - but even more fun writing my own story too.

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  59. You are an absoulutely BRILLIANT writer!! Waiting with bated breath for the next chapter which I'm guessing will be even more brilliant! Hope you had a lovely vacation in my neck of the woods...Yoli

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    1. Hi Yoli - it was a great vacation in your neck of the woods.

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  60. Absolutely amazing, as always!! Your writing never disappoints!!!! This chapter was exactly what I needed today!! Thank you so much!!

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  61. So wonderful! As always, your writing really is at its best when you have freedom to go into details we don't know. This was different than I pictured in my head but I loved your version.

    Thank iou for sharing your talents. Hope you had a great trip.

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    1. Hi Jenn - I guess we all have our own version of what might have happened - that's the joy of reading a book I guess. I hope my version wasn't too far removed from yours anyhow :)

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  62. Yet again another piece of brilliance!! Simply cannot wait for the next chapter .... x

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  63. Welcome back. Hope you had a wonderful vacation. Thank you for the weekly chapters in your absense. I think I speak for all your avid addicts when I say that it definately helped to prevent Christian withdrawl. And with your return to us you bring one hum-dinger of a chapter. Wow-Awesome...there aren't enough positive adjectives in the english language to cover it. I have to agree with another of your readers when I say I'm enjoying your story as much if not more than the original novels. Thank you.

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    1. Thanks, Zanadu - good to know this week's chapter was acceptable.

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  64. Another chapter of sheer brilliance!!! Simply cannot wait for the next instalment! !

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  65. As always, you never disappoint. I am yearning for more. I love reading Christian's thoughts. I am so addicted to these characters. Thanks for the mesmerizing writing. You are destined to write. I hope you enjoyed the USA and hope we were welcoming.

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    1. Monique - You Americans were very welcoming indeed, and it is always a pleasure to visit the US, even if some things take some getting used to.

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  66. What a wonderful thing for me to wake up to! Out of all three books this chapter and the part that comes next are two of the chapters that I have been most excited for. It was so great to see this through Christian's eyes, but how he can be so blind to women is beyond me. He continually wants to give both Elena & Leila the benefit of the doubt, yet he never seems to trust Ana the same way that he does them. You did a brilliant move when you had John explain to Christian that Leila had probably started planning for something like this years before since she was able to bypass his security and break in. You would think that with that also combined with the smiles Leila would show when he yelled at Ana or when she thought he was preferring her that he would see her for what she really is. I know that she is has a mental problem, but I also think she is sneaky and conniving just like Elena.

    Thanks again for an outstanding chapter! I'm so excited to read the next one!

    XOXO,
    Ang

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    1. Hello my dear friend. I hope you are continuing to improve and that you are not in too much pain.
      I think Leila is one nasty piece of work actually, but she won't be pulling the wool over Flynn's eyes any time soon. I think Christian's trouble is that he is wracked by so much guilt and self loathing that he can't always see what is staring him right in the face. Thank goodness for Flynn eh?

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  67. Of all thstories I've come across, yours by far is the best & most try to the books! I loved this chapter & DEFINITELY looking forward to the following!

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  68. Brill chapter! can't wait for the next! Keep up the good work! xx

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  69. Ditto...next chapter...thank you!!

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  70. That was a great chapter. Welcome back, I hope you enjoyed your time in the US. I am so looking forward to the next chapter with the breakdown of Christian. I have always wondered what was going through his head. You may need extra time to get that chapter to us, because it's going to be a good one. You were spot on with what happened in Christians mind from what I was thinking in the bathroom between him and Laila. I also always wondered what he said to Laila that Ana didn't hear, It never dawned on me that he said "kneel". So simple yet so powerful. I was up at 5am EST to read your chapter. I kept checking all through Thanksgiving dinner. Everyone thought I was looking at Black Friday sales but I wasn't, I was awaiting a new long chapter. And I got my present, and it was well worth the wait. Thanks again and can't wait for more.

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  71. Oh I forgot to mention, thank you for the short chapters while you were away. They were really good and helped to keep me calm, cool and collected while we waited for the great chapter you have given to us. ~Brooke

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    1. Hi Brooke. I had a great time over in the US, it's a wonderful country.

      I thought long and hard about what Christian might have said to Leila. He needed to get her his under control, so I thought it would most likely be some sort of D/s trigger word. I considered 'obey', but as her reaction was to instantly drop on her knees to the floor, I decided that most logically it must have been a simple order to 'kneel' before her Master.

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  72. what a great chapter have waited a long time for this many thanks for this x

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  73. Omg!! love it cant wait for next one love all the chapter Christian & leylas wowww that was amazing we really can see everything what happened with them really love it!! and glad you had a great time on your holidays and more glad that we have u back with this great writing!!!

    Greetings from México!!

    Pd: eager to read the next one!!!

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  74. OMG!! I love Christian...he is so compassionate and considerate with a heart of gold. His tender care of Leila was lovely. He knew just what to do. Your blog has filled in sooo many gaps left in the books. The way you wrote this puts closure to my curiosity of what transpired between he and Leila that evening. And again, another chapter read through tears. As always, well done! Carol

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  75. I almost want to say: screw Christian's POV and finish your own book already...
    You have an interesting voice and I want to hear it sing an original song, but I also am indulging in a little guilty pleasure reading 50Shades through your eyes as I've not read the original.
    Anyway, anything of yours available to read somewhere ?

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    1. I'm working on my own original work at the moment, as well as writing the blog. I'll be sure to let you all know when it's available.

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  76. you must finish the Grey series...that is all I have to say...I will BUY anything you write afterward...you know I have offered you money and you haven't replied.

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    1. I will finish 50 Shades Nancy, I would never leave you all high and dry :) I will also let you know when my own work is available - I'm working hard on that too at the moment. Thanks for your support.

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  77. OMG!!!!! I don't know what to say, except you are absolutely brilliant and amazing. Reading your version is bringing so many details up to light, and I will be nesting at home, waiting for the next chapter, which will cover my favourite part of Fifty Shades Darker. I know and understand you have lots of work other than Christian's POV, but thank you so much for sharing it with us and keep this story alive for a bit longer. Xoxo

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  78. Yay, I was so excited to read this chapter! And of course, it was amazing! I think there were a lot of us anticipating the scene where he and Leila are alone together. You are a fantabulous writer! Keep up the good work;) Have a nice weekend!

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  79. What can I say that's not said before by my fellow grey followers. I just want to say thanks. Please keep writing. All of us are eager for showdown night. I have a question. Will u please fill on the gaps on three weeks after engagement before wedding.

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    1. I'll see what I can do, as long as inspiration hits when I let my imagination loose. I do have some ideas already, of course.

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  80. Well worth the wait!!!!!! Sir, you have outdone yourself on this chapter, can't wait for the next instalment, biting my lip in anticipation of what's going to come next, lol, keep up the greyt work, loving every bit of it, love and laters :O)

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  81. ALL I CAN SAY IS DAMM YOU ARE GOOD. I HEAR THAT EL JAMES IS CONSIDERING HER OWN MEET FIFTY SHADES BOOK AND ALL I CAN SAY IS I HOPE SHE IS AT LEAST ON POINT AS YOU ARE. DAMM YOU ARE GOOD. EVEN MY IMAGINATION DIDNT GET THAT FAR. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR FEEDING MY ADDICTION.

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  82. Really excellent chapter! I just finished reading it for the second time. :-) The interaction between Christian and Leila was perfect. I was waiting for this chapter, and now I will wait for the upcoming one where Christian breaks down in front of Ana. Your writing is always worth the wait, but just like anticipating an upcoming vacation, once it arrives it is usually over too quickly!! :-)
    Brenda aka "B.in NYC" :-)

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    1. Thanks Brenda. I'll be working on that chapter ready for next week.

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  83. So amazing how you always lead us from chapter to chapter always portraying Christian side exactly as I feel he would be..Thanks for every Friday !!! :)

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  84. Christain reaction to this situation was so wrong under Ana's veiw and I agreed with Ana. Christain never thought about how Ana would feel when he cared for Leila who tried to harm her.
    You are amazing. Thank you.
    Kim

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    1. Christian unwittingly played straight int Ana's insecurities by concentrating on Leila, didn't he?

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  85. You have done an outstanding job,,, love love when you have new post. Thank you and keep up the excellent writing.

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  86. OMG I can't wait for MORE MORE MORE MORE.... Thank you so much

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  87. They just keep getting better and better! I am soooo looking forward to the next SEVERAL chapters! Keep up the awesome job!

    ~Nancy~

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  88. What I like about your writing is that it doesn't even seem that someone other than E.L James is writing this. You are an incredible writer! Please, keep it up. :) I've been checking all day for this chapter! Thank you!

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  89. LOVE LOVE LOVE! Ditto on all comments before me! You're awesome - this is way better than the original 50 trilogy - cannot wait to read the next chapter - anxious to buy your own original book - etc.! Great way for my weekend to start - thanks so much for sharing your talent with us!

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  90. Great job -- I think you make my Fridays.

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  91. Thank you for more! I truly loved this one, and how Christian reacted when Leila was undressing was great. I am glad you are back and I wait for more. I never get tired of your chapters! Love, Love, Love your writing!
    As always waiting for more Sir,
    Lisa x

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  92. Thankyou for this chapter and all the other chapters you wrote its great getting Christians POV on thing :) Your emails atre the highlight of my week and im glad your back safe from your trip away and i hope your feeling refreshed.

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  93. Great chapter, can't wait for the next. It is actually the part of the story that brought me to tears. I so love this story!

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  94. Yahhie you are back! Hope you had a great vacation! What a great chapter, so glad to read how he really felt about Leila's bath! Now cant wait And read about the nxt chapter :) this chapter helped me get through waiting in line at black friday early this morning and just got to finish it up. Hopefully we get to see if their is another reason CG has so much worry for leila and why things changed when she retUrns back, hmmmm. Thanks gain for another great post.
    Annie

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  95. even though you are away and it is a ho[iday you still find time for us P love you blog and look forward to each entry This chapter is amazing You are soooo good Thank you so much

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  96. Waooooo....really amazing !!!
    You are GREAT !!!!!

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  97. I think all your chapters have been great so far and very realistic Christian pov's and I am dying to read the next chapter I've been stuck on it since I first saw your blog and cannot put it down now catching up to this chapter I just can't wait for more !! Thank you so much

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  98. i love this thankyou thankyou thankyou

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  99. Brilliant as always! Thank you for making my weekends so relaxing! You're such an amazing writer! I have already shared your blog link to my friends who are just as fsog crazy as i am!!! Of course, i look forward to the next one! Happy weekend and cheers from the Philippines ;-)

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  100. Wow! thank you for this new chapter! as always, you are really brilliant. can't wait for the new chapter!

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  101. What a brilliant new chapter......cant wait for the next one.....half you had a great holiday x

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  102. Amazing! Thank you for another great chapter! Looking forward to reading the next one! :-)

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  103. please put up the next chapter, im begging pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee

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  104. Great chapter. I have read it 3x already. Love how you get into Christian's mind.

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  105. I was so looking forward to this chapter and you did a great job! I love reading this book from Christian's POV!! I think I enjoy it more than the original!! I am so excited to read the rest of the books from Christian's POV!

    I look forward to reading your original book!!

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  106. Love this chapter! Definitely perked me up after a week of being sick. Can't wait for the next one!!! ~ Jessica

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  107. Hope you don't mind but I have shared this blog on several 50 Shades of Grey Facebook pages that I like. I know many people like the "spins" made on the fanfiction website but I don't. Those can be so far fetched & unbelievable. Thank you for sharing Christian's POV in the way I imagined. Please let us know when your book is finished! You have a gift for writing! Have a great rest of the weekend.

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    1. Hi Stacy. You can share the link to my blog with as many people as you like!I'm glad that you like it enough to want to do so.

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  108. Truly Brilliant!!I have been waiting to find out what happened with Leila and you wrote it sooooooooo well, keep up the great work, I'm so loving reading this, ohhh and welcome back :)

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  109. Thi chapter was amazing! This is one of the places where I really found myself wondering what happened. I think you filled in the blanks masterfully. Thank you for sharing.

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  110. Simply amazing! Thank you for taking time out of your schedule to write these wonderful chapters! If your novel is anything like this, I'm sure it will be a top seller! Can't wait for the next few chapters...these were my favorite in book 2! When you are finished with Fifty Shades of Gray and your own book, maybe you could start a new blog with the Crossfire Series by Sylvia Day. I'd love to read that series from Gideon's point of view! Thanks again for the weekly blog!

    Stacey

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    1. Gosh, that's a lot of writing I've got ahead of me!

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    2. All in good time my friend😊

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  111. Ok, so this is my second attempt of writing a comment here coz the first one didn't went through. I somehow forgot what I exactly wrote a while ago. All I can remember was that you are all of the above. I can't think of anything else to say anymore coz I think everybody has said it all. As always, it's such a brilliant work! It's so sad that this chapter didn't ended up on the proposal part. But at least I have something to look forward to after I get back from my vacation. :) This is the last friday of the year that I'll be seeing Christian here in UK. Haha! I'll be having a vacation in the Philippines and I'll miss a couple of chapters every fridays while I'm away. I'll definitely miss Christian. Haha! But I'm pretty sure I'll be back next year for a long read on the chapters I'll be missing. I wish I know what you're planning to write before you could post it online and that I don't have to wait and read the chapters every friday. Haha! Selfish, I am! HAHAHA! :D But I believe waiting adds up some spices in life. And I thank you for that. Just keep us wanting more and we'll never get tired of waiting. That's a promise. :) Wishing you best and see you sooooon! I'll miss this page. Haha! <3 It's my turn to have some nice vacation. Hope you had a good one. :)

    - from an ever so loyal President of your fans club, CLARA <3
    LATERS, BABY xxxxx

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    1. Have a great vacation, Clara, and a nice long read when you get back to look forward to if you don't have internet access while you are away.

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  112. Omg!..as usual Mr Grey you never disappoint, fantastic chapter, can't wait for the next, it's great being able to read the books from his POV.
    Hope you had a good break, and thank you for thinking of us even when you was on holiday.
    Looking forward to the next email....Nell xx
    Laters Baby

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  113. Welcome back! waiting for you. great chapter.....

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  114. (falls back on the couch with a huge sigh of satisfaction)Thank you sooooo much for this chapter!!! I was wondering when we were going to get to the part about Leila and Jack Hyde, if it was coming up soon, and as always, you never disappoint!!! Now I can't wait to read his thoughts when it comes to Ana and her boss, lol. Hope you enjoyed your time in the States, and can't wait until next Friday!!!!

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  115. Thank-you for another great chapter! I always wondered what made Christian want to bathe Leila, you definitely added insight into this.
    It's going to be a long wait until Friday. I so enjoyed the next part of the book & I know that you will do an outstanding job.
    Glad you are back from your vacation & had a good time.
    Also, can't wait to read your own original book, looking forward to that.
    Thanks again for keeping your FSOG addicts satisified!!!

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  116. Brilliant writing looking forward to the next part cant wait ;)

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  117. Brilliant! Been waiting for this chapter for ages
    It seems, always wanted to know what happened
    With Christian and Leila, you didn't diss appoint!
    Looking forward to the next chapter!

    Lv Charlotte x

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  118. Wow that was so worth the wait love having the time to read this blog makes having red the 50 shades trilogy that much more satisfying.

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  119. Please give us a new chapter soon...Can not wait because this is the turning point for their relationship...Thanks for writing this blog it is fantastic and I can not wait for more!!!!

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  120. I could not wait to read this chapter. I am very new to your blog. I am so glad a friend sent me the link. I am hooked. I like your other readers cannot wait till Friday's. I was at an amusement park when I got the email that a new chapter was ready. I was so excited. (more than the kids were at the park) I started reading it in the car just the first few sentences got a huge smile on my face and my husband asked what I was reading that was making me smile. I love,love,love, your POV of Christians. I have read the books three times and wondered what he was thinking. Consider me a fan. Please keep writing.

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  121. Thank you so much for another great chapter. Brilliant as usual. I'm trying not to be impatient, but I can't wait to find out what Christian gleans from Ana's perspective of Ms. Leila's adventures. Christian can't control the women in his life. Lol.

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  122. What amazing chapter.......
    Can't for the next one....
    You certainly get Christian.......
    But also Anna.....
    Thank you for a great Chapter.

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Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment. Be sure I read each and every one, even if I don't always reply individually.