Chapter 24 - How It All Began And More

We sit in the deep, warm, soothing bath, just looking at each other. My past relationship with Elena is not a subject I really want to discuss with Anastasia, but it seems that she can be every bit as tenacious as her friend Miss Kavanagh. 

I realize that she’s not going to give up on this until I give her some more information.

I think back to when I was that angry fifteen year old young man. I was an unapproachable loner, with no friends. My body was teeming with hormones, as well as anger, frustration, resentment, and confusion. I had very strong urges and needs, but I couldn’t bear to be touched by anyone, so sex was out of the question.

YOUNG CHRISTIAN

My parents insisted I had some counseling with some asshole therapist, but that was no help whatsoever, and I only went to the appointments to keep them happy. 

I found that drinking helped to numb things, but it also meant that I lost what little control I had, so I got into lots of fights. Really bad fights. I even toyed with the idea of drugs providing me with an escape from my turmoil. I was only a step or two away from descending onto the same path to hell as my birthmother.

And then Elena took control of me.

~~~

After Elena slapped my face and then kissed me that first time, I didn't know what to expect when I went round to her house the next day to carry on with the work in her yard. When I got there, she was nowhere to be seen, but she’d left me a note.

Christian.

You have five minutes. Come upstairs. First door on the right. Take all your clothes off and leave them in a neat pile by the door. Knock on the door, then enter the room and kneel in front of me. Do not speak unless I instruct you to do so.

Mistress Elena.

I read the note several times over, my pulse racing, my hand shaking. What should I do? Leave, run for the hills, never to return? Hell no, this was the most exciting thing ever to have happened to me, so I quickly did as she bid.

My eyes nearly popped out of my head when I entered the room, stark naked, and saw Elena wearing a black leather corset, a short black leather skirt, a garter belt with black net stockings, and black leather stiletto boots. She was lovingly fingering a cane that she held in her hand.

MISTRESS ELENA

I eagerly scurried over to kneel down in front of her. She circled round, inspecting me, then clipped a black leather studded collar around my neck. It had a chain, which she tugged so hard that my head  jerked back.

“Eyes down,” she snapped.

“Err… yes, of course…” I mumbled.

I felt a sharp slap on my cheek.

“Do not speak unless I give you permission. Is that understood?” she instructed me coldly. This time I kept quiet. I didn't have her permission.

“You may speak.”

“Yes, I understand.”

Another slap on my cheek.

“You will address me as Mistress Elena. You may speak, but only to answer my questions.”

“Yes, Mistress Elena. I understand.”

“Better. Now, do you like what you see? You may look at me.”

“Yes, Mistress Elena. I like what I see very much.”

She smiled a cool smile at me.

“Yes, I thought you might. Tell me, what would you like to do?”

Well, the answer to that was obvious, wasn’t it?

“Please Mistress Elena, I’d really like to fuck you,” I said. 

That’s what this was all about, right? Clearly she wasn’t getting it from her old man, so she wanted me to bang her.

Another slap on my cheek.

“Dear, dear, next time I’m going to have to use my cane if you keep getting things wrong, Christian. Think carefully, and try again. What would you like to do?”

I wracked my brains. Then it dawned on me.

“Whatever it is that will please you most, Mistress Elena.”

“You are a fast learner, Christian. Yes, that’s it exactly. You will do whatever I tell you to. You will behave in the manner that I deem appropriate at all times. If you please me, you will earn a reward. If you displease me, you will earn a punishment.”

She walked behind me, and all of a sudden I felt her cane cut across my back. I yelped and flinched. Shit! That fucking hurt.

“That is just a little taste of the punishment I will give you if I find out that you have been taking drugs, drinking alcohol of any type, or getting into any kind of trouble at all. And trust me, I will find out. You will become my whipping boy. Do you understand?”

“Y... yes, Mistress Elena,” I gasped.

Then I suddenly felt her fingers around my cock, which had been standing to attention ever since I’d entered the room. She squeezed me, then slowly and enticingly massaged my length. I groaned loudly, and nearly came right there on the spot, it felt so good.

“But if you are a good boy and please me, then your reward will be unimaginable pleasure. Pleasure in ways that you would not have dreamed were even possible,” she leaned down and whispered in my ear.

“Please, Mistress Elena. I only want to please you,” I begged, as she continued to stroke my throbbing, aching cock. Then she suddenly withdrew her hand. 

“That’s enough of that. You haven't earned the right to come yet. And you can only come if I give you permission,” she stated coldly, as I whimpered in frustration.

“But… but I really need…” I started to protest, then jerked in shock as her cane cut across my back again.

“Do not dare to argue or defy me, Christian. You are an instrument of my will. I will begin by instructing you in how I wish you to pleasure me, how you can earn the right to come, should I decide to let you.”

~~~

And that was how it had all started with Elena. She saved me. She brought me into line. I didn't drink any more, I steered clear of drugs, and knuckled down to work hard at my studies, because that was what Mistress Elena told me I had to do. 

And Elena knew from my mom about the issues I had with being touched, so she only touched me in a sexual manner, which I was fine with. It wasn't a love affair. But for the incredible carnal rewards I earned when I pleased her, I’d have done anything she told me, anything at all. I lost all my inhibitions, as Elena taught me what my body was capable of, as well as what a woman’s body was capable of.

And as for the very harsh punishments she frequently gave me for the most minor misdemeanors – even they felt good, and taught me self-control. I discovered that pain increased my sexual pleasure, taking things to a higher, much more intense level for me. And I understood that I deserved the punishments, and somehow they helped to balance out the bad shit in my head.

~~~

I come back to the present, and realize Anastasia is still waiting for me to say something.

So how to explain all of this to her? She doesn't need to hear all the gory details. Now that I’ve discovered she is quite the little green eyed monster, that would only ramp up her jealousy. She is a very cute green eyed monster I have to say, and I find it sexy as hell that she feels that way about me. She wants me to be her man, and hers only. I totally get that now. And I like it very much. She is possessive of me. No one’s been that way with me. Because you’ve always kept the others at a distance, you never let any of the others be possessive of you, Grey. Only Elena, and that was just her exerting her control over me as my Dominatrix Mistress.

“I would probably have gone the way of my birth-mother, had it not been for Mrs. Robinson,” I start to explain. Ana blinks at me in disbelief. “She loved me in a way that I found… acceptable.” Not really love as such though, was it?

“Acceptable?” Ana whispers back.

“Yes. She distracted me from the destructive path I found myself following. It’s very hard to grow up in a perfect family when you’re not perfect,” I try to explain. My family all have pure, good hearts. Not an evil, maggot infested one like mine. My dearest, wonderful Mom tried her best to fix me, but it’s just not possible.

“Does she still love you?”

“I don’t think so, not like that.” I frown as I try to make her understand that Elena never actually ‘loved’ me. It was just a physical, sexual affair between us. “I keep telling you it was a long time ago. It’s in the past. I couldn't change it even if I wanted to, which I don’t. She saved me from myself. I’ve never discussed this with anyone. Except Dr. Flynn, of course. And the only reason I'm talking about this now, to you, is because I want you to trust me.”

Christ, this is hard. I wouldn’t put myself through this for anyone but Anastasia, I hope she realizes.

“I do trust you, but I want to know you better, and whenever I try to talk to you, you distract me. That’ll be all the fucking. Best type of distraction I know .There’s so much I want to know.”

Will she never give up with all this shit! I’ve opened up to her more than I ever have to anyone else, and it’s still not enough. I don't do heart to heart. Not my style.

“Oh for pity’s sake, Anastasia. What do you want to know? What do I have to do?”

 I’m trying hard not to lose my temper, but I’m really not used to this type of inquisition.

“I’m just trying to understand; you’re such an enigma. Unlike anyone I’ve met before. I’m glad you’re telling me what I want to know,” Ana pleads with me, and then completely disarms me when she comes over and cuddles up to me. “Please don't be angry with me.”

How can I be angry with her? I’ve never met anyone like her either. But I’m just not used to opening up to anyone – except Flynn, and of course Elena, which Ana doesn’t like. But it’s true; Elena’s been a part of my life for so long that I can talk to her about anything. Including Anastasia. I need her advice about this unknown territory, because she alone totally understands my needs, she knows me better than anyone, including my parents, who were of course blissfully unaware of our relationship. I just need Ana to understand that there is no longer any sexual or romantic connection between Elena and me, but I’m growing tired of trying to convince her, and I feel my control beginning to slip.

“Are you done?” I ask her. Because I sure as hell am.

“For now,” she finally accepts.

So I can relax. I think I’ve been more than accommodating to her requests. But seeing as we’ve been getting down to the serious shit, I think it only fair she spills her hidden thoughts.

“You haven’t responded to my email,” I point out.

She flushes and squirms. See, not so great to have people delving into your head is it, Miss Steele?

I lean down to kiss her, and I know that we could easily end up being distracted so she’d avoid my questions. But I really need to know how she feels. I hate all this uncertainty; it’s not how I usually operate.

“What do you want to know?” she sighs, clearly uncomfortable with having the spotlight turned on her. Touché, Miss Steele.

“Well, how you feel about our would-be arrangement, for starters.”

And that’s when she confesses to me that she thinks she’ll struggle to be my sub for any length of time.

“I can’t spend a whole weekend of being someone I'm not.”

 I laugh, because I’ve already figured this out for myself, and you know what? I think I’d be bored if she fitted into the perfect submissive role, all of the time. Been there, done that, many times over. Time for something new.

“You’re not a great submissive,” I admit, as I gently kiss her.

“Maybe I don't have a good teacher,” she responds, as she laughs back at me. And her laughter is such a great sound, that I can’t be cross at her for this come back.

“Maybe. Perhaps I should be stricter with you. Was it that bad when I spanked you the first time?”  I recall how distraught she was afterwards, and yet how sexually aroused she’d been at the time. Has she figured this out for herself? Has she come to terms with the fact that it was actually a fucking amazing experience we shared?

“No, not really,” she whispers. Yes! She realizes it wasn't that bad. She’s accepting it.

“It’s more the idea of it?” I suggest, hopeful that we’re making progress. “Feeling pleasure when one isn’t supposed to? That takes a while to get your head around. You can always safe word, Anastasia, don't forget that. And as long as you follow the rules, which fulfill a deep need in me for control and to keep you safe, then perhaps we can find a way forward. Controlling you satisfies a need in me that wasn't met in my formative years.” Blame the crack whore. And her pimp. 

“So it’s a form of therapy?” she suggests.

“I’ve not thought of it like that, but yes, I suppose it is.” She actually gets this.

“But, here’s the thing – one moment you say ‘don't defy me’, the next you say you like to be challenged. That’s a very fine line to tread successfully, and I'm tied up in knots here,” she argues.

 “I like you tied up in knots,” I say. And I do. I picture her in my playroom, tightly bound, and preferably gagged, at my mercy, trusting me to take control. Perfect. Can't fucking wait to get her back in my playroom.

“That’s not what I meant,” she exclaims, as she splashes me.

And that’s it. Enough talking. I grab her and pull her onto my lap, holding her head with both hands so that I can possess her with a deep kiss. Ana moans and tightly knots her fingers in my hair to claim me too. 

As always, it seems that we’re incredibly well matched in our desire. I shift her so that she is tantalizingly straddling me, taking her hands and holding them tightly behind her back, just in case she feels the urge to touch me. I can feel her wonderful breasts brushing against my chest, which I find very arousing too.

“I’m going to have you now. Ready?” I whisper, as I position her just above my erect cock.

“Yes,” she whispers back, staring intently at me.

So I slowly ease her down onto me, watching her wide eyed reaction as I totally fill her. She takes me in deeply, as far as I can go. This might be vanilla, but it is mind blowingly, fuckingly, amazingly good vanilla. With no condom, I savor every last little sensation of her velvety lushness, as I flex my hips to push her to the limit of what she can take from me. 

We pause, totally and completely merged as one. I’m buried so deeply within her that we couldn’t possibly be any closer than we are right now. We fit so tightly and perfectly together that it seems as if we are made for each other. She gasps and leans forward to rest her head against mine. I know she feels just the same as me.

I trust her not to touch me when she pleads for me to let her hands go. She uses the bath ledge to slowly ease herself up and down on me as I watch her. It’s so erotic watching her pleasuring herself on me, using me, riding me, our wet slippery bodies moving against each other. 

She leans down to kiss me, and I close my eyes as she runs her fingers through my hair, tipping my head back so she can deepen the kiss, our tongues tangling as she starts riding me faster. I grab her hips to help increase the pace, working together to maximize our pleasure, kissing, fucking, riding, grinding together. 

Our passion starts exploding around us, water sloshing, orgasmic climaxes building, until finally she screams out as she flies over the edge to her release.

“That’s right, baby,” I groan, as I follow her to my release, clasping her tightly to me. “Ana, baby!”

And I feel the connection with her right in the very depths of my being, as I’ve never experienced it with anyone before.

~~~

As we lay together in bed afterwards, I feel at peace. We talk. About silly things like favorite films. She looks gorgeous and beautiful and sweet. I’m so glad I flew all this way to see her. It was totally the right thing to do. And she is clearly happy to see me. 

Then she starts probing into my past, and we start treading on the dangerous ground of how many women I’ve had sex with. Sixteen previous submissives. Of course it’s a lot compared to her, my sweet little virgin. But she is without question, the absolute, the very best woman I’ve ever had sex with.

“So I am number seventeen,” she states.

“Seventeen?”

Then I realize. She thinks I’ve only fucked seventeen women in total, including her. No shit! Come on – only seventeen?

“Not exactly.” I suppress a smile at her shocked expression. What did she expect? You don't build up to my level of expertise unless you’ve fucked a lot of different women in a lot of different ways. I’ve tried just about every possible thing, because you have to experiment to find out what you enjoy – and what you don't. That’s how you work out your hard limits as well as the soft ones. Always safe sex though. 

But Anastasia’s was the first virginity I’ve ever taken, and she was my first vanilla conquest. Which I guess is what usually happens first for most people, before all the kinky stuff. So I've done it all back to front. That’s cool. I have no regrets. But now she wants to know exactly how many women I’ve had – hell I don’t know, I didn't keep records. Well, apart from the photos, but there was a good reason for that.

“Tens. We’re in the tens, for pity’s sake,” I protest, when she starts talking about ‘thousands’. I can't help smiling at the thought of fucking thousands of women. Her reaction is so funny and sweet and innocent, so I decide to shock her even more as I kiss the tip of her nose.

“They were all submissives. Submissives in training, when I was training. There are places in and around Seattle that one can go and practice. Learn to do what I do.”

She blinks in shock.

“Yep, I’ve paid for sex, Anastasia.”

I haven't paid for sex in a very long time though. But in those early days, I used to go to BDSM clubs that Elena picked out and recommended for me, once it became apparent that I’d outgrown being her bad boy slave, her pet, her submissive. Once we’d figured out my true nature, it was obvious to Elena that my need to exert control over every aspect of my life, which was making me so successful in the business world, also made me a natural Dominant in my private life.  

That was why she set about using her expert tutelage to ensure I became a highly skilled and sought after Dom, because Elena always insisted that I should excel at whatever I did. If I was going to be a Dominant, then I should be the best possible Master any sub could wish for, she told me.

So I have Elena to thank for the fact that these days, I can have the pick of virtually any submissive I want. But I only want Anastasia. Who ironically, we’ve just agreed, is not a great submissive at all.

I can see that I’ve shocked Ana, as she mutters that paying for sex is nothing to be proud of. And she’s cross because she thinks that she can't shock me.

So I tell her all the things she’s done that have shocked me.

• She wore my underwear.  No one’s ever done that before, and it was so cheeky and sexy of her. I fucking loved it. And because of that, I couldn’t resist putting a pair of my boxers out for her to wear today, when I realized she didn't have any clean panties with her. I fucking love the thought of her perfect ass being encased in my underwear.
• 
  
• She didn’t wear her panties to meet my parents. I would never have dreamed of her doing something like that when I first met her. Shit, I had a hard on all night because she was being such a naughty, slutty girl. I fucking loved it, because only I knew about her lack of underwear. She did that just for me.
• 
  
• The biggest shock of my life was when she told me she was a virgin. I never expected that, ever. And she gave her precious gift of virginity to me. No other man has been where I’ve been, experienced what I have with her. And they never will. And that makes her totally and utterly mine. I think that’s why I’m so captivated and beguiled by her, because what we have between us is so unique and special.
• 
  
• She let me work her over with a riding crop. No wonder she confuses me, as it turns out that she really liked that experience, and shyly suggests that she may let me do it to her again in the Red Room of Pain, as she calls it, this weekend. Oh yes please Miss Steele. I can’t wait to get you in there again.
• 
  
• I’m surprised that I like her using my name, after years of insisting that my subs must address me as Sir, or eventually Master, if they please me enough to earn that right. But none of them have used my first name. Ever.

I'm actually finding all this talking we're doing is pretty good. I feel relaxed and at ease with her.

So I can’t resist dropping a hint about my plans for more with her.

“I want to do something tomorrow.”

“What?”

“A surprise. For you.” I murmur quietly, because I can see that she is really sleepy as she stifles a yawn. I kiss her gently on her lips.

“Sleep,” I tell her, but she’s already drifting off, a smile on her face.

And I’m happy, because I’ve made her happy. It feels really good, so I hope my surprise tomorrow makes her even happier.

~~~

I think today has been the best day of my entire existence. I took Anastasia soaring. I've never taken anyone up with me before; it’s always been my own private world where I can just totally escape everything for a while, to soar free as a bird in the wide open sky. I wanted to share this world with Ana, because I just knew she’d love it too. And she did.

It all had to be arranged with the Brunswick Soaring Association at the last minute, so Taylor did well to pull it together. Benson, the British tow-pilot, seemed a competent guy. I’d use him again, especially as he’s of the same opinion as myself about the Blanik L-23 being the better machine than the L-13.

Taylor seemed pleased to see Anastasia at the airfield this morning. I actually saw him crack a smile and whisper something to her. What was that all about? He's always shied away from any kind of personal contact with my previous subs, unless it was essential for making practical arrangements. Is he getting soft in his old age or something? Must be this fucking Georgia heat getting to him. 

I was so proud of how Ana handled everything. She didn’t go all girly and soppy and scared about going up in the glider, like most females would. She was just totally up for it. That’s my girl. That’s my girlfriend, actually. Of course, I wouldn't be happy about Ana going soaring with anyone else, but I'm an expert pilot, so she was in good hands.

The light was every bit as extraordinary as I’d hoped. Dawn truly is a magical time of day, because the light is diffuse, melting into so many different hues of soft colors. It was totally amazing, and worth waking up a very grumpy Anastasia for. She is so not a morning person, but she was okay once she’d woken up a bit more.

I loved how Ana squealed when I rolled the glider, then laughed out loud at the weirdness of being upside down. Best sound in the whole wide world. I love hearing her laugh, and I like that I made her happy. 

I let her take control of the glider – I knew she couldn’t do any harm as I still had the joystick in my hand. But at least she was prepared to have a go. That’s what I admire about her – on first impression, she just looks like a weak little girl, but she really isn’t. 

She’s brave and adventurous, and I'm guessing she would love sailing too, just as I do, so I want to do that with her as well, just as soon as I can fit it in. See Grey, there’s lots of more you can give her. And it’s actually fun to share. Fun if it’s sharing with Ana anyway.

All too soon it was time to land, and we were back on the ground.

But I felt exhilarated, totally on a high, and I saw that Ana felt just the same. I couldn’t help myself; once we were out of the plane, I had to take her in my arms and kiss her to show her how happy I was that she was with me, that she had shared my love of soaring on this beautiful morning.

“Was it more?” I asked her breathlessly. Because if that wasn’t more, I couldn't imagine what would be.

“Much more,” she whispered, with a huge, excited grin plastered all over her face. And so I knew she loved it just as much as I did.

I took her to IHOP for breakfast on the way back, which I think surprised her, as it’s not my usual kind of place. But we used to love going there with my dad when Mom was away, it was a guilty family secret, and I still have good memories associated with it. 

And they do make the best pancakes in the world.

As we sat there together, that strong sexual magnetism between us hummed louder than ever, and we both really wanted to fuck, it wasn’t just me. But that had to wait; instead we settled for buttermilk pancakes, which I was pleased to see she quickly devoured because she had such a good appetite – for food as well as sex.

We discussed our relationship. I told her I still want her to be my submissive in my playroom, and that I will still punish her if she digresses from the rules. But otherwise, I told her I'm  happy to discuss whatever it is that she wants from me, and that I’m really trying to compromise for her.

Ana told me she wants to sleep with me, in my bed. Strange thing is, it turns out that I sleep very well when she’s in my bed, and I miss her really badly when she’s not there. So hell yes, I was more than happy to agree to this. In fact I think I’ll be the one insisting on it from now on as part of our agreement.

“I was frightened that you’d leave me if I didn't agree to all of it,” she whispered, as she turned those amazing blue eyes of hers up at me. They just melt me - how could she possibly think I could walk away from her when she looks at me like that?

“I’m not going anywhere, Anastasia,” I reassured her.

“I love that you want more,” she murmured shyly. She is so sweet. So fucking sweet and lovely.

“I know,” I grinned at her. I love that she talks in her sleep. It’s like having a secret hotline into her subconscious.

“How do you know?” she demanded.

“Trust me. I just do.” I refused to say any more, because she might deny it all and spoil it. I want her to be brave enough to say what she said in her sleep, out loud, to my face, when she’s wide awake.

‘More, Christian, I want more of you. Stay, please don't leave me, please stay with me Christian. I want more. I won’t leave, don't ever leave me. More.’

Her words were all jumbled up last night, but the meaning was clear. She feels the same way about me as I do about her. She is as compelled as I am. My spell to bind her to me must have worked after all. I was fucking thrilled by her words, because you don't lie in your sleep. This was her true self speaking.  

But now that we’re back down to earth, the real world has kicked in again. I have meetings to attend. And I’ve been informed that SIP are about to make Ana a job offer, so my acquisition of that company is going ahead. Ros has it pretty much under control, but I want to personally oversee all the details. I don't want any last minute fuck ups for this particularly important deal.

So I drop Ana back at her mom’s place, promising to see her that evening.

Then my happy bubble is burst, as some bad shit hits the fan. My past rears its ugly head and comes back to bite me on the ass. Hard.

 I get news that means I have no option but to drop everything and return to Seattle.  

I don’t own any of the Fifty Shades Trilogy or the characters therein. They belong to E L James. I’m just borrowing them for fun and not for profit. Please refer to the Legal’s page for further details. This work is not to be copied or reproduced in any way without permission.