Chapter 21 - Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

As has become usual when I sleep with Anastasia, I don't have any nightmares and I sleep really well, although when I wake up in the morning it’s still quite early. That’s just my natural sleep pattern I guess. 

My leg is hooked around hers, my arm is round her waist, and my head is next to hers. I gently kiss the top of her head, but she doesn’t wake. Of course I have an erection, and I consider putting it to good use to wake her in the best way known to man, but I reluctantly decide against it because she needs her sleep. It was pretty late last night by the time I finally let her get some rest. Don’t wear her out Grey. She’s not just some new toy.

She murmurs as I extricate myself from her, and starts mumbling. I hear a few words. I think I catch ‘Christian’, and ‘silver balls’, which makes me smile, but when I hear ‘crack whore’ and ‘dead mommy’, I’m not happy. This is just what I didn’t want; my sick shit going round in her head. I lean down to kiss her cheek, and she smiles in her sleep. Better.

I call Taylor and instruct him that I’m heading down to the gym for a quick session, so I want him to stay behind to monitor the apartment as Ana will be there alone while I'm gone. And it’s because I feel so protective of her that I instruct Taylor to meet me in my study once I’ve returned and taken a quick shower. I want an update on the instructions I gave him last night.

Anastasia is still sleeping deeply after I’ve returned and showered. Clearly, she is not a morning person. I sit on the edge of the bed to study her, watching the steady rise and fall of her chest as she breathes. She looks so young and innocent lying there, her chestnut hair spread out over the pillow.

  Looks can be deceiving though, because now that I’ve taken her virginity and awoken her sexuality, she’s quickly becoming increasingly bold and adventurous. It makes me hopeful that my plans to train her to be a really good sub can become a reality, and I can’t wait to get her in my playroom again. Last night’s scene in my bedroom was nothing like I’d normally play with a sub, but I have to say I really enjoyed ‘making love’ with Anastasia after some kinky playing around. Compromise – yeah, I can do that.

Of course I can’t deny that I’ve always really enjoyed fucking each and every one of my fifteen previous subs. On the whole, I’ve always been pleased with my selections, they were all pretty good girls, but with Ana there’s just this extra connection between us that takes fucking to a higher, more intense level. All previous fifteen would do absolutely anything I wanted, subject to the contractually agreed hard limits, and I can't deny that’s still what I really want from Ana. It’s just a deep seated need in me, part of who I am, the caning, the whipping, the hard shit that I love to deal out, to punish them with. But I can be patient. For her I must be.

I make my way to my study, where I see Taylor waiting for me.

“What’s the status re the covert protective surveillance I ordered for Miss Steele? What have you and Welch put in place so far?”

“Well sir, coverage of the mark - Miss Steele - was already in place with regard to Seattle, so that remains active for today. For the new location in Georgia, we’ve completed the reconnaissance and threat assessment as far as we’ve been able within the tight time scale, and have assessed that any risk to her is very low indeed. Her mother and her stepfather have come up clean, nice neighborhood, nothing to raise any concerns. So a covert security presence consisting of one Close Protection Operative should be sufficient while she’s there.

“No, I want two operatives, twenty four-seven.” I insist, and see a pained expression cross Taylor’s face. I realize that means employing four CPOs in total, and I know its short notice, but I don't give a fuck. “I don't want the operative losing her when he takes a leak or something. And I want full photographic reports on all activity updated to me hourly.”

“Very good, sir.”

“I want to know exactly where she is, and who she’s with, from the moment she leaves this apartment later today, is that understood?”

“Yes, sir.”

“And Miss Steele is not to be made aware of the surveillance unless it becomes necessary for her security and protection. That has been made crystal clear? I don't want her to be worried unnecessarily.”

“Yes, of course, sir. However, I must point out that a higher level of protection would be possible if this were not a covert operation. The CPO has to keep his distance to remain undetected.”

“I understand, but that’s what they’ve got to work with.”

Anastasia has no clue about the risks associated with being my girlfriend. The press are going to have a field day once we’re seen out and about together, and it’ll mean she’ll be at risk from kidnappers and other sick weirdoes. So I’m taking no chances. That’s the official reason for ordering the surveillance anyway. Control freak slash stalker more like.

“Do you have any flight details as yet, sir?”

“I’ll be offering Miss Steele use of my private jet, so I’ll apprise you of the details once her itinerary is firmed up.”

“Very good, sir. Will that be all?”

“For now, Taylor.” He hurries off to pull together my demands.

I’ve decided to spend the morning with Anastasia before she leaves, so I ring Andrea and instruct her to rearrange my schedule. Then I get her to put me through to Ros, so I can go through everything I want her to cover for me. There’s nothing she can’t handle. 

As I ask her to put me back to Andrea for a couple more things, I look up to see a beautiful sight. Anastasia is standing in the doorway, wearing one of my shirts, which is only just long enough to be decent. She looks so natural and beautiful, and as she smiles her gorgeous smile at me, I find myself helplessly smiling back at her. So we’re both standing there like a couple of idiots with big grins on our faces, as I carry on my phone conversation.

“Clear my schedule this morning, but get Bill to call me. I’ll be in at two. I need to talk to Marco this afternoon, that will need at least half an hour… Schedule Barney and his team in after Marco or maybe tomorrow, and find time for me to see Claude every day this week… Tell him wait… Oh… No, I don’t want publicity for Darfur… tell Sam to deal with it… No…Which event?... That’s next Saturday?... Hold on.”

 “When will you be back from Georgia?” I ask. With Anastasia away I'm going to need to kick the shit out of Claude every day to relieve some of my tension.

“Friday.”

“I’ll need an extra ticket because I have a date.” I think Andrea nearly drops the phone in shock, and asks incredulously if I just said I had a date.  “Yes Andrea, that’s what I said, a date, Miss Anastasia Steele will accompany me. That’s all.”  I hang up. Yep, I’ve decided I’m going to go public with this whole ‘girlfriend’ thing.

“Good morning Miss Steele.”

“Mr. Grey.”

I walk round to stand in front of her. She looks so sweet and fresh faced that I can't help touching her, stroking her soft cheek with the back of my fingers, because I crave some contact with her.

“I didn't want to wake you, you looked so peaceful. Did you sleep well?”

“I am very well rested, thank you. I just came to say hi before I had a shower.”

She gazes up at me with those beautiful big powder blue eyes of hers, and I’m powerless. I’m totally under her spell, unable to tear myself away.

As I lean down and gently kiss her, something ignites in her. She throws her arms around my neck, twists her fingers in my hair and pulls me down to kiss me back with a ferocious passion. This takes me by surprise, but I’m soon responding with equal passion. My hands run down to cup her gorgeous ass, and all I want to do is take her. But I manage to control myself and pull back.

“Well, sleep seems to agree with you, I suggest you go and have your shower, or shall I lay you across my desk now?” I tease her.

“I choose the desk,” she whispers, her eyes full of seductive promise. Fucking hell, she means it too.

“You’ve really got a taste for this, haven’t you, Miss Steele? You’re becoming insatiable.” My own personal little nymphomaniac. What a delightful thought.

“I’ve only got a taste for you.” Her voice is deep with desire. Desire for me. She is mine. She belongs to me.

”Damn right, only me,” I growl at her, as I sweep all the paperwork from my desk, pick her up and quickly lay her across it. She wants me to fuck her here? Fine by me. I’m only too happy to give her exactly what she wants. I am so up for this now.

“You want it, you got it, baby,” I promise. Until she’s on the pill, I'm making sure I always have a condom in my pocket. So now I produce it, undo my pants and sheath up. Hell, I’m happy to give her a spontaneous ‘take me now’ fuck.

“I sure hope you’re ready.” No foreplay, no preamble, this is going to be a simple hard fuck. And all her idea.

I hold her wrists by her side, push her knees apart with my legs, then drive straight in. She groans loudly with pleasure. No question, she really wants me.

“Christ, Ana. You’re so ready,” I whisper in awe. This connection, this attraction between us is so strong, it seems we only have to be in the same room as each other, to look at each other, and we’re both instantly ready to fuck. We need each other so badly; there’s only one possible solution to satisfy this insane craving.

She wraps her legs around my waist to entrap me, every bit as desperate for this as I am. It inflames me to take her in a simple, raw, primeval coupling. We’re perfectly matched as we climb together towards our climax, stroking, thrusting, pushing, faster, harder. I can feel her trembling and quickening…

“Come on, baby, give it up for me,” I beg her, as I know I can’t hold on any longer.

She cries out and I feel her magically spasm and tighten around my cock. So that’s it. One final hard thrust and I’m soundlessly flying high right over the edge to join her, before I collapse, panting like I’ve just completed a 6k run in record time.  Fucking hell. So fucking good, out of the blue, from nowhere.

“What the hell are you doing to me?” I murmur as I catch my breath, nuzzling her neck and breathing in her delicious scent. “You completely beguile me, Ana. You weave some powerful magic.”

When I let go of her wrists, she reaches up to run her fingers through my hair. She seems to like playing with my hair, and I seem to like her doing it. Who knew? She tightens her legs around my waist to stop me from withdrawing from her.

“I’m the one beguiled,” she whispers.

I’m frightened by the intensity of my feelings as I look at her. What the fuck is happening to me? I hold her head and look deep into her eyes, trying to cast my own spell on her, to bind her to me.

“You. Are. Mine. Do you understand?” I try and command her to stay with me.

“Yes, yours,” she whispers back, staring into my eyes.

“Are you sure you have to go to Georgia?” Just stay with me, please, don't go.

But she nods. My spell has no effect on her. I’m losing her. She can't feel as strongly as I do or she wouldn’t go. I take a deep breath to gather myself as I quickly withdraw from her, causing her to wince.

“Are you sore?”

“A little.”

“I like you sore. Reminds you where I’ve been, and only me.” 

 I grab her chin and roughly kiss her before I stand up and then hold out my hand to her. Every time you sit down tomorrow, you’ll think about me fucking you. I like that thought.

“Always prepared,” she murmurs, as she looks at the condom packet while I’m re-doing my fly.

“A man can hope, Anastasia, dream even, and sometimes his dreams come true.” But you’re still going to Georgia.

I shouldn’t be feeling or acting like this. Practically begging her not to go away. I'm the one in charge. I need to take control of myself. Get things back on an even keel. Remember the definition of a Dominant, Grey?

“So, on your desk, that’s been a dream?” she asks me with a cheeky smile.

Oh trust me Miss Steele, I love desk sex. Always have. Always will. I’ve made that dream come true many times over. There’s nothing better than a quick hard fuck on the desk for relieving tension when I've been working hard.

I can see Anastasia has worked this out for herself. That might have been her first desk sex, but it certainly wasn’t mine.  She frowns and stands up to go.

“I’d better go and take a shower.”

Yes, and I’d better stop acting like a complete teenager and finish organizing my revised schedule for today.

“I’ve got a couple more calls to make. I’ll join you for breakfast once you’re out of the shower. I think Mrs Jones has laundered your clothes from yesterday. They’re in the closet.”

She looks surprised, and I realize she’s not used to having staff sorting things like this out for her. If it were left to her, her clothes would probably still be in a heap on the floor from last night. But that’s all part of Gail’s job, and she is very efficient.

Ana’s standing there frowning.

“What?”

“What’s wrong?” she asks.

“What do you mean?”

“Well… you’re being more weird than usual.”

“You find me weird?” This makes me smile. Trust me, you haven't even begun to see weird yet.

“Sometimes,” she blushes.

“As ever, I’m surprised by you, Miss Steele.” So shy and yet... so bold.

“Surprised how?”

“Let’s just say that was an unexpected treat.”

“We aim to please, Mr. Grey.”

“And please me you do,” I say. But don't think you can keep taking control like that. That’s not how I do things. “I thought you were going to have a shower?”

“Yes… um, I’ll see you in a moment.” She hurries out of my office.

I make several more calls before I head towards the kitchen for breakfast. I’m just in time to hear Anastasia telling Mrs. Jones that she doesn’t want any breakfast. This makes me mad. She will have breakfast.

“Of course you’ll have something to eat. She likes pancakes, bacon and eggs, Mrs. Jones.” I remember that’s what she had before.

“Yes, Mr Grey. What would you like, sir?”

“Omelet, please, and some fruit.” I point Ana to the bar stool. “Sit” You're not going anywhere until you’ve eaten a decent breakfast.

As Mrs. Jones busies herself with preparing the food, I sit next to Ana and ask about her travel plans.

“Have you bought your air ticket?”

“No, I’ll buy it when I get home – over the Internet.”

“Do you have the money?” I know it’s going to leave her short with the pitiful amount she has in her bank account.

“Yes,” she says in a very condescending and impolite manner, which I find rude and don't like one bit.

“Yes, I do, thank you.” She quickly amends her tone when she sees the look I shoot her. That’s more like it.

“I have a jet. It’s not scheduled to be used for three days; it’s at your disposal.” Then I can control how long you’ll be away. You’ll be back Wednesday rather than Friday.  I’m not sure I can manage any longer than that.

She just stares at me in disbelief.

“We’ve already made serious misuse of your company’s aviation fleet. I wouldn’t want to do it again.”

“It’s my company, it’s my jet.” That’s what it’s for. And then I’ll know where you are and that you’re safe. Control freak? You bet.

“Thank you for the offer. But I’d be happier taking a scheduled flight,” she states. I weigh up whether I can insist, what more I can do to persuade her to take up my offer. Regretfully, I realize there is nothing.

“As you wish. Do you have much preparation to do for your interview?”

“No.”

“Good. You’re still not going to tell me which publishing houses?”

“No.”

“I am a man of means, Miss Steele.” You really have no idea of just exactly what means I have at my disposal.

“I am fully aware of that, Mr. Grey. Are you going to track my phone?” Don’t be stupid, of course I am. Well, Welch will be and reporting back to me.

“Actually, I’ll be quite busy this afternoon, so I’ll have to get someone else to do it.” I’m smiling, because I’m actually telling the truth here.

“If you can spare someone to do that, you’re obviously overstaffed.” Oh there is nothing more important to me than knowing your whereabouts, Miss Steele. Top priority.

“I’ll send an email to the head of human resources and have her look at our head count.” Yes, and instruct her to take on more staff if necessary.

Mrs. Jones serves up our breakfast. I’m pleased to see that Anastasia eats all of hers, despite claiming not to want anything. I hope her mother will ensure she eats well while she is visiting. That’s what moms do, don’t they?

Having completed her duties, Mrs Jones discreetly leaves us alone, and I can see Anastasia visibly relax. I’m so used to having staff around, I hardly notice their presence any more, but I think Ana feels intimidated at times. She’ll get used to it. If she stays around long enough.

She’s looking at me.

“What is it Anastasia?”

“You know, you never did tell me why you don’t like to be touched.”

Not this again. I can’t tell her any more than I already have. I can't talk about that shit. What the bastard…. She has no right to ask me that.

“I’ve told you more than I’ve ever told anybody.” Just shut this down for Christ’s sake.

I can see Ana digesting this. She shakes her head slightly, as I think maybe she realizes she’s overstepped the mark. 

I change the subject.

“Will you think about our arrangement while you’re away?” And come to the right decision?

“Yes.”

“Will you miss me?” I want you to miss me so much that you’ll come back early. Yeah, come crawling back early, desperate and begging to see me. I wish.

“Yes.”

“I’ll miss you too. More than you know,” I confess, as I stroke her cheek and then kiss her softly. How am I going to manage without a fix of Ana whenever I need it? I don't understand why, but she seems to calm me and make me feel more complete somehow.

When it’s time for her to leave to go home and get ready for her interviews, I escort her all the way down to the car park, unwilling to let her go. I hate feeling like this. She insists that Kate will take her to the airport. I insist she takes her cell and MacBook away with her, and to make sure she has the chargers too. It’s essential for me to have as many forms of communication open to her as possible.

I watch her drive away, then pull myself together, knowing I have a very busy afternoon ahead of me, having played hooky this morning. But before I head on into the office, I update Taylor.

“Miss Steele declined the use of the company jet, so she’s taking a scheduled flight. Co-ordinate with Welch; whatever flight she’s booked on, I want her upgraded to first class.”

“Very good sir.”

“And book the seat next to her as well; I don't want her bothered by some drunken fucker sat next to her.” Or some fucking dick who comes on to her, or tries to touch her.

“As you wish, sir. And once we’ve got the landing time, I’ll coordinate with the Georgia operatives, and they’ll take it from there,” he assures me.

“And you’ve arranged for two operatives at all times, as I specified?”

“Yes, we struck lucky and managed to get a female operative for one of the extra CPOs. Makes good sense, a couple will be less conspicuous, and the female can monitor Miss Steele more effectively with regard to rest rooms, changing rooms, those kind of situations.”

“Yeah, as long as the female is up to the task.” Women can be so fucking hormonal and unpredictable, as well as being physically weaker.

“Wouldn’t have taken her on otherwise, sir. She’s ex-marine, comes highly recommended,” Taylor replies brusquely. Clearly I’ve offended him by questioning his professional judgment. Point taken. But still, a woman?

I head into the office for the afternoon. And what is it with everyone today? They are all so fucking inefficient and irritating. Andrea asks me yet again to confirm that I said I have a date with Miss Anastasia Steele for the function on Saturday. 

What is her problem? Is she deaf or just plain stupid? Olivia is her usual annoying, clumsy self, as she practically trips over in her eagerness to bring me some files I need. Remind me again why I employ her?

And when I don't receive an update from the Seattle surveillance team on Anastasia's whereabouts, I go apeshit at both Taylor and Welch, because it’s their job to ensure my instructions are followed to the letter. I said hourly updates, not just when the CPO feels like it. 

Even if there is no change, nothing to report, I need to know that. Barney’s no better; by late afternoon he still hasn’t come up with any feedback from Anastasia’s interviews. I seem to be surrounded by mindless fucking idiots today.

About the only thing to brighten my afternoon is a call from Elena.

“Hello, Christian darling. Long-time no speak. How are things?” 

No mistaking that sultry voice. Part of me is instantly taken back to being her collar-wearing sub, obeying her every command, feeling the sting of her cane on my back if I dared to disobey her in the slightest way.

“Elena. Oh you know, usual crap. To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“I have all the latest accounts and figures for the salon chain following the re-furb and expansion. I know I could just forward them to your accounts guy, but I’d really appreciate it if you could cast your experienced eye over them and give me your opinion, see if you think we’re headed in the right direction. So I wondered if we could do dinner sometime soon and catch up?”

“Yeah, actually Elena, it would be useful to see you. I’m free tomorrow evening as it happens. Is that any good for you?” 

At least this will use up one of my empty evenings, keep me occupied and stop me brooding too much.

“My goodness Christian, you’re usually booked up solid at least three weeks in advance. Yes, tomorrow evening works for me.”

“Fine. I’ll book a table at my club, for eight as usual. See you then.” A private room at my club will mean that we can talk and not be overheard. This is good timing. I can talk to her about all this confusing shit in my head, get her opinion. 

There really isn’t anyone else with whom I can discuss the problems and conflicts that are involved in training Anastasia to be my new submissive. No one else truly understands the stark reality of my needs the way that Elena does.

We hang up, neither of us bothering with further small talk. Elena is good like that.

Rather than returning to the empty apartment, I work on late into the evening, going over the details for the acquisition of whichever publishing house I’m going to be taking over once I get news about job offers for Anastasia. 

This means everyone else stays on and works late too. And no, I don’t feel guilty when I hear Andrea on the phone cancelling her date to the theatre, or Taylor letting Mrs. Jones know that he’s getting food sent to the office so we can carry on working. It’s all part of their job. That’s what they’re paid for. I never promised anyone nine till five hours did I?

Tomorrow I have a session with Claude in the morning, Flynn in the afternoon, and then dinner with Elena in the evening. Hopefully all this will help keep me on the right side of sanity while Ana is so far away from me. 

Because I’m struggling. Really struggling, and it’s only the first day, and she’s not even flown out yet. 

What the fuck is wrong with me?

I don’t own any of the Fifty Shades Trilogy or the characters therein. They belong to E L James. I’m just borrowing them for fun and not for profit. Please refer to the Legal’s page for further details. This work is not to be copied or reproduced in any way without permission.